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How Do I Convince My Wife it's OK for Me to Take Cialis?
ringo1968 posted:
I've struggled with ED my whole life. After trying a lot of other things -- therapy, Viagra, testosterone replacement -- I finally found Cialis 5mg for daily use. It is a miracle. My performance is better than it has ever been, and my anxiety is completely gone.

Problem: My wife hates the fact that I need medicine to help me. She distrusts conventional medicine anyway (and insists more therapy, dietary changes, etc. are the real answer), but also thinks I need the drug to be attracted to her, even though I've explained that's not how it works.

So, how do I talk to her about this? How do I persuade her that we should be celebrating the fact that I found something that works for me (not everyone does) rather than fighting about whether to simply accept this gift from God?
stevesmw responded:
I've never taken Viagra. My HMO prescribes Levitra and it doesn't help much and I don't like the side effects. I tried the daily Cialis when there was a free 30 day trial. It was ok, but too expensive to take every day and I didn't like the side effect of retrograde ejaculation. My wife's issues may be similar in that she expects an erection spontaneously and that was the case until I passed 60.

I take 3 1000 mg tablets of horny goat weed in the morning and 3 1000 mg tablets at night. It works about as well as Cialis for me, no side effects and much cheaper. I get it from Amazon and is made by source. I strongly recommend that you research it and give it a try.

I've tried another herbal product in addition; Yohimbe (2000mg) and it gives me a harder erection than anything else I've taken, but it the side effects are not good and it lasts a few hours. There are a lot of warnings about it's use. The instructions say take two capsules and I did and wish I hadn't. I tried one tablet and there was a positive effect but still side effects. I tried taking less than one by removing some powder. It gave a strronger erection and the side effects were noticeable but manageable.
ringo1968 replied to stevesmw's response:
I'm really looking for guidance from someone who has had to talk to their wife about his need to take Cialis. Like I said, it works great for me and I couldn't be happier with it....but the wife hates the idea.

stevesmw replied to ringo1968's response:
Its' your wife and your relationship. There is no standard conversation. In fact you already had it and didn't get the result you wanted. Do you plan on taking Cialis only before sex or every day? If only before sex then sex won't be spontaneous and that is legitimately a big issue.
If you plan on taking it every day then just say I need to take it. End of discussion.

What I suggested is natural and can be taken every day. The only issue is wheher it will work for you.

My wife was victimized by sexual abuse at an early age and had been sexually active and had two children over 10 years. . She never had an orgasm until she met me. She is multi multi orgasmic but only when she is in the mood and I better be ready that second. She doesn't particularly mind if I take something as long as I am ready when she is, otherwise forget it. We've been married over 30 years.
nohard replied to stevesmw's response:
Hi Steve and Ringo, Look I have to posts on franktalk, its all herbs and and hormone, all you need to do is google these titals and your there, DRUGS VERSUS HERBS, HERBS MY CHOICE, and DRUGS VERSUS HERBS, HERBS MY CHOICE, DAILY INTAKE, Please just give them a good read and then a trial for 12 weeks, if after 4 to 6 weeks your starting to get nocternal erections and mornig woods then its working for you as me, please enjoy.
Good Luck
blc529 responded:
Ringo, I have no answer for you regarding your wife, but I can commiserate with you. My girlfriend (read wife) feels that I shouldn't have to use anything. So I don't and guess what, as side from frustration.... she has no clue why sex doesn't come her way. Good luck...
john1829 responded:
I have tried all 3 pills plus caverjet. My doctor recommended taking viagra or cialis on a empty stomack which makes sponteanous sex not good but better then nothing. My pharmacist told me to not take Levitra because of a heart problem. Just take the pill on an empty stomach and not tell your wife. Since doing it this way I have sex once a week where before it was maybe 6 to 8 times a year. It took a while but my wife agreed to it. I am trying to get her to agree eating earlier at night so we can do it at night. good luck.
doogood responded:
Hey Ringo. First let me commend you for seeking help with your ED. As I get older and start to experience the occasional erection issue I have thoughts of if and when I should bring up the subject with my doctor. When those times do happen, my wife's first reaction is what did she do wrong or what could she have done better or what didn't I find attractive about her. I explain to her that there is absolutely nothing that she did wrong or wrong with her. I was either just worn out and couldn't keep it going or for whatever reason I wasn't getting as hard as I do other times. I'm not a doctor but I can say that women are usually aroused more so by emotional closeness and a sense of loving their partner. And I can only guess that your wife may be feeling that since your physical arousal isn't there naturally, then you're not in love with her enough to have an erection. I also commend you for talking to your wife and explaining your side of the situation and that closeness and love aren't the issue. My suggestion would be to talk to your doctor about how to explain what is physically happening to you, or if you are both inclined, talk to a therapist who can play mediator in the discussion. Sometimes it helps to have someone else reiterate what you're saying so someone else can understand the meaning of your words. Best of luck to you both my friend and I sincerely hope you can come to a common ground with your wife. Doug
ringo1968 replied to doogood's response:
Thanks for the reply, Doug. At some point, I'm pretty sure it's going to take a third party to persuade her that this is's normal, safe and it has nothing to do with her. And if she still won't come around, I guess I'll just have to let it roll and see what happens. She can't really complain about my performance if she's denying me what I need to perform.....
jcsilverfox responded:
My wife and I were married 52 years. To the day she died we had passionate sex. I have found over the years that she, as I imagine all women are, are romantics. I lived my married life by a bit of advice my father gave me shortly before I was married. One day, in a conversation about women, he said, "You will hear many men say they can't understand women, they are hard to get along with, or you can't reason with them. That's a lot of hooey. If you give a woman just one thing, --THE RESPECT SHE DESERVES — you will not have a problem." It took an effort because men are not made to notice the things women do but the day I was married I made it a point to become aware of my wife and what she did. I would tell her how good she looked with that new hairdo, or new dress, etc. I would take the time to notice that she was washing, or ironing at 9PM when I was lounging in chair watching TV. If you do these things it is very easy to "give her the respect she deserves" She is your wife and as your wife she should always be Number One in your life. She should never be lonely married to you. Talk to her and when you talk, listen. Find out what's important to her and what it is that makes her happy. If you make a woman happy, she will go out of her way to make you happy too.
stevesmw replied to jcsilverfox's response:
Good advice for a marriage, but how does it relate to the poster's problem?
Ideally sex should be spontaneous, but what if it can't be?
jcsilverfox replied to stevesmw's response:
What does more to a man for an erection, Viagra or a hot wet kiss from your wife, taking you by the hand and leading you to the bedroom?
ringo1968 replied to jcsilverfox's response:
What are you doing in this thread, jcsilverfox? I mean, if you go back and read my post you will see that this conversation is about ED...which stands for erectile dysfunction. That means that even though I love my wife and am attracted to her, and even though she sometimes gives me a hot wet kiss, takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom.....sometimes I can't get an erection. There is a physiological component to this and a psychological component to it, but that's not really the point. The point is, I have found something that enables me to have a physical response that accurately reflects my love and attraction to my wife, but she is extremely uneasy with the solution I have found. Several people have provided very good and useful thoughts on how I may be able to deal with this situation -- which was, after all, the point of my original post. You either don't understand my problem, or (worse) are minimizing it. Either way, it isn't helping and I wish you would go hijack someone else's post. Thanks.
jcsilverfox replied to ringo1968's response:
Apparently I hit a nerve. I'm sorry
garybellman responded:
The good news is that daily cialis is currently approved for both erectile dysfunction and BPH (enlarged prostate). For men with a slower urinary stream cialis can help with both.
I am not sure if this applies to you.
Some women can be weird about men taking these pills which really help many men a lot.
Dr Gary Bellman

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