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To Be or Not To Be
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MzMargeaux1 posted:
It is approximately 4 months since I first posted about my BF's problem w/ premature ejaculation. I'm afraid I had to let him go. The problem became worse if you can imagine such a thing. The last time I saw him he said he is losing interest in sexual contact b/c he cums w/in 1 second. My doctor had told us he might lose interest in sex if he did not correct the problem.

So there it is - The End. Thanxs for all of your input.
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RobertPatrick responded:
Tell me to stop masturbation or porn. As masturbation reduces long lasting capacity. Also tell him to exercise and try hold your ejaculation to get better results.
 
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MzMargeaux1 replied to RobertPatrick's response:
I've asked him to do everything: reduce masturbation; don't watch so much porn; exercise when he urinates by stopping the flow, etc. Of course I don't know if he does it or not b/c he is not w/ me 24/7. All I know is that nothing seems to be working and he won't take the pills my doctor gave me for him. So I am finished w/ it.

Thanks for your advice anyway.
 
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gringofeliz responded:
Please don't despair. He may be one of the lucky ones that can cum with a little loving help from you. Be slow and patient. You'll both enjoy it if he pleasures you which will also encourage you to keep him progressing to the finale. It's good for you!
 
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MzMargeaux1 replied to gringofeliz's response:
Thank you for your suggestion but the whole problem is that he cums in 'split second'! I have been loving, patient, and all of that good stuff to no avail. It is like he can not learn.

My doctor says it is probably because he grew up in a '3rd world country' where boys/men are not taught to sexually give pleasure to girls/women. My doctor is also from a '3rd world country' so he should know. All I know is I'm done w/ it.
 
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Poul1986 responded:
There are actually drugs available that helps prolong erection. If the diagnosis is ED, he can opt for medications such as vardenafil. You can refer to this site if you are interested for more info: http://www.vardenafil20mg.info/health-news/
 
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MzMargeaux1 replied to Poul1986's response:
Thanks for your input but I'm not interested any longer. I have been dealing w/ this since June of 2011. I've had enough!
 
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gringofeliz replied to MzMargeaux1's response:
I really feel sorry for you. Does he show appreciation for female beauty? You might consult a sex therapist. Please don't give up. I know it is difficult to keep the subject alive in your thoughts but don't press for a quick solution since it may take a long time. You shouldn't give up sex for yourself. It's one of the natural functions you need to pleasure yourself. A therapist can help you with this also. Whether you should "play with yourself" in front of him depends on his mentality...it may take some time for him to accept it, but don't expect quick solutions. Sometimes attitudes change subconsciously. If you get with a therapist who has patience you could introduce him/her as an acquaintance and let them develop a relationship gradually. But for heaven's sake, don't stop pleasuring...I don't believe our bodies/minds remain in good condition w/o it. I don't find most porn enjoyable myself or my wife but Klixen has produced a large library of clips and in them she has a variety of moods so you might look at her clip descriptions and view different ones at c4s.com/studio 7373. They are not expensive. You can even send Klixen an email for her advice at no cost. Good luck and don't give up.
 
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MzMargeaux1 replied to gringofeliz's response:
Once again I thank you for your input and empathy for me in this situation. Unfortunately, nothing has changed or will change. He won't go to doctor nor will he take the pills (Zoloft) that doctor gave for him. God helps those who help themselves so I had to give it up. He definitely will not go to a sex therapist - this I already know. He will just continue to say "I don't know why this happens every damn time" but he is not willing to TRY to fix it.


He is a very nice man who appreciates me and my female beauty. But my nerves are on edge now. Every time he comes to see me I get physically ill....seriously.

I have one (1) more thing that I want to try w/ him. If that doesn't work - he can't be fixed.
 
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gringofeliz replied to MzMargeaux1's response:
so what was it that you tried? Even if he cums in a split second, keep fondling him slowly and have him tease you in between your efforts with him. I don't agree with masterbation having negative consequences as it tends to keep the system alive and well. Why focus on penetrative sex? Pleasuring each other, either hj, bj, or with toys, can also be satisfying. Most women get more pleasure with hand and mouth fondling their tits, clitoris, and vulva, not deep penetration. And with him you have to learn how to tease and stop to control his excitement. That's why I suggested c4s.com/studio 7373 because she is superb at slow but sure with a positive attitude. Don't give up, but be positive with him, not disappointed. Even when he cums quickly, show enjoyment, not disappointment. Maybe he's one that can cum several times like the boys at Studio 7373.
 
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MzMargeaux1 replied to gringofeliz's response:
Thanxs again for your interest and input. I have been seeing this guy for almost 2 years now (June). He should be used to me by now. I have never experienced anything like this in my entire sexual life. He is getting worse instead of better. UGH!

I've already told him that I am not happy nor satisfied w/ our sexual relationship. All he says is "I know, I'm sorry". Plus, he has other issues, in my humble opinion, such as excessive OCD which blows my mind. Ah, C'est La Vie.
 
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gringofeliz replied to MzMargeaux1's response:
I wish you well and that you find someone whom you can love for many years (I was with only my wife for 62 until her demise). Anyway, I don't agree with the theory that masturbation reduces anything. It all depends on technique. The important thing is "if you don't use it, you lose it." so take care of yourself. Abstention only leads to more disappointment.
 
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MzMargeaux1 replied to gringofeliz's response:
I'm sorry for your loss. Being w/ someone for 62 years is powerful. I had wanted that for myself but it never happened. Now this is my last trip to the rodeo and I thought I would go out w/ a bang. Unfortunately, I will not. I have never heard of so many men having problems w/ erectile dysfunction; premature ejaculation; etc. It is like an epidemic! One girlfriend of mine has a 'friend' who doesn't get hard when he is with her, but when he is at home or on the phone w/ her - he gets rock hard. LOL. I laugh to keep from crying for her b/c it is so pitiful and frustrating. Another girlfriend of mine was going w/ a guy who ejaculated while they were just kissing! These are grown men not boys in elementary school. Something is very wrong.
 
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gringofeliz responded:
Oh my. Don't give up. Sex in its various forms is a natural body function and is needed to keep the rest of you and your bf in healthy condition. Since he won't agree to a sex therapist, I suggest you be more subtle and have a sex psychologist become your companion so that he gets comfortable with her. She might be able to use hypnosis to get his natural libido back. She might also agree to a one-on-one with him after determining what does energize him. Anyway men and women often get sexually energized by different stimulants and it usually is not as mechanical as turning on the light switch. (Note: if a psychologist is out of range, price wise, you might consult with the dean of a psychiatric school. There might be a student who would be excited about undertaking this project.)
 
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MzMargeaux1 replied to gringofeliz's response:
How can I say this delicately......He isn't that important to me at this point for all of that. Not after 2 years of trying to learn him how to do ME and he still can't/won't learn control. Perhaps it is due to him being born in a '3rd world country' where sex isn't so available like it is in the West. I don't know. Like I said b4, I have one more trick up my sleeve to try w/ him although I don't know how I'm going to do it b/c when he calls or comes around me I get the headache and become physically sick. In any event, I truly believe 2 years is enough.


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