Skip to content
My husband has ED , how can I talk to him about my sexual needs and not make him upset with me, It is hard for me to talk about this and not get emabarssed ?
An_250601 posted:
This a hard for me to talk to him about this matter. I want him to touch me and bring me to orgasm , If it was me and i could not have sex with him , I would make sure i assisted him to pleasure him. I would not want him to go somewhere else. I would never go somewhere else to have sex,or get another partner. I am devoted to my husband , and I am here for him . It is just so hard at times, I feel so unsexy , this is important to me. He has been to the Dr. and is taking shots for this problem of Low T but he has high LDL cholesteral so we have to get that down too. I know there is more to marriage than making love , I do miss it so much. I could count on my 2 hands how many times we had sex in the 4yrs. I love my husband so much ,if anyone can give me advice much thanks, and God Bless.
stevesmw responded:
How much does he love you? To many men and women, sex starts and ends with a penis. Many women can't orgasm from intercourse and other stimulation is required. Why wouldn't he want you to feel pleasure? He may feel like a failure because he can't get or sustain an erection. Pleasuring you should help his self esteem. You may be able to stimulate him manually or orally and give him some pleasure. Lovemaking is about giving.
nohard responded:
Hi, lets start with his LDL bad boys, if hes not on statins your OK as these are sex killers, for this try him on parsily and garlic, and you can google that, and I think that cayenne can help as well, and you can google natural ways to get his LDl down, lots of help there, If hes having troubles getting erections I have some thing that may just help there, its a way of getting him in bed without an erection, and you and him could both orgam from it, its this.
But first I just found this.
Cayenne and Cholesterol

There is little evidence that cayenne reduces blood cholesterol directly. However, it can help increase the circulation of blood through the vessels by reducing the formation of plaques and preventing the build-up of clots. This may help prevent heart disease and reduce the risk of cardiac events even if cholesterol levels are not changed.
This is it
The most important information I got from the convention was a method which makes it possible to have inter course with a flaccid or semi erect penis.

The following technique was described at the symposium: The man lies flat on his back, the women straddles him in a half kneeling position, leaning on her left knee, and on the right foot. This gives her room to manipulate with her right hand, She clamps the penis firmly but not to tightly at the base with her thumb and index finger (palm facing the mans body).This causes sufficient firmness to allow insertion. The women then sits firmly upon the penis. This approach permit she a wide range of movement and not only enables a considerable penetration but gives her the opportunity to rub her clitoris against her index finger.

When the erection is complete she may remove her hand and let her partner begin the active coital movement.

If for any reason this method doesn't not, then the couple should try a special friction technique between a flaccid penis and the clitoris. The man lies flat on his back. The women lies on top of him in a prone superior position. She begins to embrace and kiss him passionately. Then she starts a belly dance movement to stimulate the penis. Later she assumes a position which enables her to rub her clitoris to the soft penis. By kissing her partner and the clitoris friction she will get aroused, which, in turn, will excite her partner. Then he may achieve a partial or full erection.

In the former case she used the clamping technique, and in the latter case she may start coitus by inserting his penis.

It appears that more and more men are losing their ability to have intercourse with a women without her active participation, there is very little a man can do to cure his own impotence and sympathetic woman can do it for him.

What you have read above comes from a 1970 Forum magazine, its from a piece written by Dr Eugene Scheimann, when he went to a swingers convention in Chicago, and this was a small part on impotence/ED, its so us men could have some kind of sex lives before drugs come to the front to overcome ED

The thing is have you have done already with a lot of love, is to stand by you man, My wife has done the same with me as I got through ED and now in recovery, I did all mine with herbs and a hormone, you can find my post on its a site for men with ED, and under genral discussions look for DRUGS VERSUS HERBS, HERBS MY CHOICE, again but with DAILY ITAKE, on the end, and 2 with NOHARDS HERB LIST, and again with PART 2, on it, the last 2 have links for more info.
Its funny how we all miss the sex, which we just take for granted, till it stops.
Hope this helps you.
Good Luck
An_251860 responded:
My husband and I have been dealing with this as well. It's really tough (for both of us.) I can't remember the last time we had sex. For the longest time, he denied there was an issue and refused to go to the doctor. Till one day, I just broke down. I told him I really just want him to care about my feelings and fix the problem because it IS a problem. He finally ended up seeing a doctor about it.

He's a young man, in his early 30s. So the doctor told him to do mental exercises, de-stress, and start working out at the gym. Basically, to change his lifestyle to get healthier. The doctor said to try all these things first, and to use Viagra as a last resort. It will take longer than Viagra, but it is the healthier option. We will just have to be patient.

I read an article the other day, a woman wrote it about her husband who has ED, and after he started working out, he was able to maintain an erection again a few weeks later.

Also, I want to have children in the next couple of years. So many times my family and friends ask me "Why don't you have kids?" "What kind of birth control are you on?" "Have you been to a fertility clinic?" a part of me breaks inside. It is a totally different issue that needs to be addressed first.

He's a good husband in other ways. He's very kind and caring, and has been compromising in bed in other ways. We've been using sex toys for the last couple of months, as a temporary solution.

Also, it is very common for the wife/girlfriend to feel she is being rejected, ugly, and her husband doesn't love her anymore, but this is far from the truth.

I have prayed a lot in the last several years for the ED to go away and for our sex life to be back to normal again. It's really hard. But when I come online and read posts like this, I don't feel so alone anymore. I know we are not the only couples going through this, and it is NOT as uncommon as people thin it is.

There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Every couple goes through ups and downs in their marriage.

I really wish you and your husband all the best.

Helpful Tips

So I have been having this trouble since i was about 15. Im 30 now. I must say this is NOT a UTI or STD. I wish I knew why it happens but I ... More
Was this Helpful?
0 of 0 found this helpful

Expert Blog

The Male Room - Sheldon Marks, MD

Dr. Sheldon Marks shares advice and information on men's health issues, from prostate problems to hair loss, as well as fitness and nutrition...Read More

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.