Includes Expert Content
my husband has ed
avatar
An_200188 posted:
feel ashamed but i do, my husband has ed and i try very hard to get it hard and i get so frustrated that i get upset and and roll over and call that thing worthless, anyway i get frustrated can any one help me in trying to go around the problem and making both of us happy cause i am not and i have tried to do other things and it does not work because he does not want to do it ( stap on, vaccuum) please help
Was this Helpful?
21 of 38 found this helpful
Reply
 
avatar
An_200189 responded:
I can't help cus I know how you feel! I get so mad! in fact, my boyfriend just came in here while I am typing and asked me if I am on-line trying to find a man with a working unit! I snapped back and said " that's it-instead of you trying to fix it you'd rather ask if I am replacing you" then he laughs like it's a joke. Why is it we as the woman has to deal with it. why is it we desire to be held and made love to when our men could go days with no thought to how it is affecting their partner? this is not fair. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. I have been married twice and the last husband had the same problem. So I swore never again would I put up with feeling like it's me. BUT NOW I have found the perfect man EXCEPT for this problem and it is a problem, but seems like more of one for me than him. I have done all I can to stimulate him and in the same boat you are-after trying, i give up roll over and I am so mad that my stomach is sick with the thought of not having a normal sex life with him. I know as woman we are not suppose to make him feel bad for it, but yet were the ones hurt and feeling bad. Are we asking for too much? I think not! a healthy relationship should have sex in the midst of it!
 
avatar
oliver523 replied to An_200189's response:
First of all 8209 you said you are ashamed your husband has ed, WHY! I'm sure he doesn't want it . You call that thing worthless, DO YOU THINK THAT HELPS? He needs your help and support. Not some stupid asx coment.

And you 69581 by reading between the lines it doesn't sound like you are realy tring to support your man. He need your help also.

For both of you. For most men ed is very embarrassing and a large hit to their eago. The more negative coments said about it the harder it is to overcome.The more you think it won't come up, the harder it is to come up.I know I was in the same boat. I was lucky I had the support I needed. You must understand this could be a mental or physcal problem. The first thing to do is try to have him get a physcal and go with him. It is very hard to go into a Dr. office and say' "Hay Doc. I can't get it up" YOU may have to say "We are having a problem with sex, or something to that effect. I hope you know ed can be a sign of something else like HBP. heart problems and Diabetes.

I've had HBP for years and it was very hard to say to the Doc for the first time. "it doesn't work very good. All he said to me was Viraga. They didn't work for me and then I had by- pass surgery and I went to a VED. It worked for a while. As it started to fail I found out I had Diabetes, next I tried shots. Unlike pills and the VED YOU WILL get an erection if not something else is wrong.( Play nurse patient with the shots. My wife used to dress up and come into the room and say it's time for your riser or something cute like that. Make it fun.) The only thing after that is an penile implant. Its hard to say do it for some people cause unlike the other methods there is no turning back once its done. I did it and wish I would have had it sooner. Go to most ed sites and look at causes and cures. May be they will help you both (male and female)

As you can see Health problems and the meds I take caused my ed ,but both me and my wife wanted to and did fix it. Remember by helping your man it will help you get back into the sac.

Good luck, I hope this will help. Oliver
 
avatar
Sheldon Marks, MD responded:
I have written about my thoughts on a number of posts just this past hour. The key thing is the ED is the symptom of a deeper problem which can be serious. He needs a complete work up with stress echo and to see an ED expert. There are so many effective treatments that there is no reason is sit and do nothing. This is common.
 
avatar
2469aok responded:
The worst thing you can do is to get mad. Instead, when he goes soft, just relax and begin to stimulate youself. There is nothing more sexy than watching a woman masturbate. Really get into it, don't just rub your clit, spread you legs like you are about to be entered, use your fingers to spread your pussy, lick your fingers and insert 3-4 into your pussy. If this does not make your man hard, he really should see the doc. Don't give up on sex, instead step up your efforts. Show more cleavage, rub your boobs on him way before going to bed. Act more sexy ( if you're not already) and he might just get over his problem.
 
avatar
Omgpleasehelpme replied to An_200189's response:
ya.. trust me he feels bad about it.. and like others have said if its mental like stress/amxiety/relationship not going well.. being the reason for the ED.. getting frustrated and angry will only compound the problem.. like someone suggested.. try getting both of you fully naked and masturbate in front of him and levae ur legs open so if he does get ready he can just slide right in... if not at least you can have your own orgasm right.. hopefully.

good luck
 
avatar
brandnewme2010 replied to Sheldon Marks, MD's response:
All I know is that since I've met my man,who has ed. I have never felt more loved. We dont just have sex. We make LOVE. It doesn't get erections and it doesn't matter. If it happens then great. He is diabetic and takes enough meds. He doesn't need to take more. I have problems too. I was raped as a child and sex has always been difficult for me. Since i've met him I love anything we do. You have to understand and be able to accept each other or nothing will work. I am so lucky to have met this man. He has taught me what love really means.
 
avatar
Sheldon Marks, MD replied to 2469aok's response:
This assumes there is nothing wrong medically with nerves, blood supply, hormones etc. He needs a complete medical evaluation to look at blood tests, his heart with stress echo and carotid evaluation.
 
avatar
777neo responded:
My wife has helped me by working with me. At first she would also become frustrated, but then I informed her of the facts and assured her it had nothing to do with her. This issue was mine. This helped her not feel like she was the problem. She in turn understood and helped me. She's been more patient now and we try and found out that with time it can still be enjoyable. We reassure eachother.
 
avatar
777neo replied to An_200189's response:
You're right. He should not be laughing about this at all. This is definitely not a laughing matter. Consider speaking with him about this in a non threatening way. It may take time but keep at it and assure him in the process that you're willing to work with him and that you love him. This way he will not feel pressure when the time arrives for the two of you to become intimate.
 
avatar
Jakobew replied to oliver523's response:
Thanks for a better understanding, I have done all those things. But my partner doesnt understand I am at a prime sexual height in my life and suggestion have been made. Its just he enjoys and gets satisfaction when he can, but leaves me feeling deprived. Its getting worse and I wont to help not hinder just not sure how if he wont talk about it.
 
avatar
Chef123 responded:
Hey An_---
I have HBP and that has caused ED for me. I tried Viagra and Cialis, but the headaches were terrible. I use a powder now that works wonders. Its called L-cittruline. You mix it with water or juice and it gives me a very hard erection with increased staying power. My wife cant wait to excite me and climb on now. It has been a miracle for me. You take about 1/2 tpo 2/3 teaspoon mid-morning and mid-afternoon and again about 30 mins before sexual activity. In a few days, you will be violating your hubby like never before! Trust me!
 
avatar
An_200190 replied to Chef123's response:
hi chef123..so where do u get this powder stuff from..i have hbp and a diabete and i do miss getting a good hard on..ed pills cost so much these days ..i get some free from the Va but it seems not to do to much good ..i guess if i lose some weight and get my self back in shape it will work better for me..used to take viagra long time ago when i was working and it worked like a champ..i would love too violating my gf again like i used too and go where no man has gone before..
 
avatar
Chef123 replied to An_200190's response:
I get mine from a vitamin shop, but Im sure most health food stores could have it too. Its a powder and works great, Was able to perform twice yesterday as a matter of fact. Early in the morning and again around midnight last night. It worked great for me. I didnt want to be spending $10 a pill either.
 
avatar
An_200191 replied to Chef123's response:
found the tablets, did nothings.. so i guss it has to be the powder to work.. cannot find the powder.. could you please let me know where to buy L-cittruline powder... thanks!!

Need help in that ED department now!!!!!!!!