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is my child really depressed
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cathyinga posted:
[TRIGGER] I have a 14 year old daughter who has decided that she would rather live with her father where she can do as she pleases with no rules. To do this she has decided to say she will kill herself if she has to live with me. She has been in a hospital twice and they say she is depressed, but she shows no sighs of depression when she is at home with me. They have put her on prozac and she goes to therapy twice a week. What do I do? Do I let her get her way so she stops saying this and take the chance that she might end up pregnant or on drugs.HELP
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momuv4girls responded:
[TRIGGER] Hi Cathy,

Did your daughter speak of killing herself while she was on the Prozac or was that before ?
She was in the hospital twice.....wondering if the suicide talk prompted this ?

Teenage depression "looks" a lot different than adult depression, so while you think she is fine, she still could be suffering from it.
Here is a helpful link about teenage depression:
http://www.bpkids.org/flipswitch

Ideally, it would be great for you, your daughter and her father to get into some "Family" therapy, so you can be on the same page with her discipline/rules.
When 2-parents have completely different standards, its hard to tell the teen that your rules are better. They will most often take the path of least resistance.

If her father is totally unwilling to work with you and make some joint rules, then you really have no power as to what/where she chooses to live.
A very frustrating situation I would imagine.

If you are on good terms with her Dad, then hopefully he'll want to work together for your daughter's sake.

Take care,
-Kathleen
 
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cathyinga replied to momuv4girls's response:
[TRIGGER] The talk of suicide started before the medication. She was put in the hospital because of the statement and thats when they put her on Wellbutron and now this time they changed it to Prozac. Her father and I don't get along, he was abusive and I have a hard time with it still. When we do talk about rules and structure he says "girls will be girls and they need their freedom." So we will never see eye to eye on the rules. It really bothers me when she visits him, because he lets her run around with 20 yr guys. I have custody and until he takes me back to court she can't live where she chooses, but am I making her depression worse by keeping her with me, even though she only wants to live with him so she can do what she wants
 
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Annie_WebMD_Staff replied to cathyinga's response:
[TRIGGER] Hi cathyinga,
I've added a red trigger waring to the posts in this thread as topics of self harm are ones that some community members need to bypass.

I do want to let you know about clicking on the Find a Drug link at the top of this board to read about any medication side effects or adverse events.

Also please click on the Crisis Assistance resource link in the left hand side navigation bar for more help.

- Annie
 
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MsJoanna replied to cathyinga's response:
[TRIGGER] I am replying as someone who once behaved a lot like your daughter, althoug I had an intact family. I also threatened suicide and was prescribed prozac (there was no wellbutron back then.) I was hospitalized. I don't want to scare you you but I did get pregnant at 13. My son started college this fall. I actually had some really good years, but my marriage took its toll on me and I went through a horrible decade of what amounted to malpractice, before being properly treated and am now happy and well. The sad thing is, at the time I felt like I couldn't go to my parents with what was happening in my life. In my life, I had been repeatedly raped by gang members in our area. I knew they couldn't handle it. When they did find out, thye cried, and I reassured them everything would be fine. By no means am I an expert, but your daughter has likely seen your experience and it may have been traumatic for her. Witnessing abuse, even just the fact that it happened to her mother, is a trauma in her life. She may be suffering from some sort of PTSD. At the same time she may want reassurance that she is "good" and as long as she can be as "bad" as she can, right in front of her dad and he does nothing to her, it proves everything is okay in her world. In no way is this what she is thinking, but it is the first thing that came to my mind as a trauma survivor. Therapy, both individual and group, from a women's abuse program may be the best place to start. That is what saved me.


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