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Need help - 14 y/o son
An_245760 posted:
My 14 y/o son was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and "possible early onset bipolar disorder" in early elementary school. The psychiatrist experimented with a variety of medications - including Risperdal and Abilify. The more the meds were manipulated, the worse things got until I finally said NO MORE. The only medication that truly seemed to help at all was his Addderall. I'd never seen any mood swings in my son despite a family history of bipolar disorder in my dad and my brother. At the beginning of 8th grade this year he was doing well and then stopped doing his work. He was placed in an alternative learning center comprised predominantly of juvenile delinquent children. My son wanted to fit in so began getting into trouble by talking back to the teachers, experimenting with pot and huffing, getting into frequent fights, and displaying an overall rotten attitude eventually leading to an overnight stay in a detention facility and 6 months probation for fighting on school grounds. Around the same time he got a 13 y/o girlfriend. She was initially a very positive influence in his life. I finally found him a good counselor and following an extended suspension, he returned to school like an entirely different kid. His grades shot through the ceiling. He began to communicate positive with his teachers and stay away from the boys he did all the negative things with. His "girlfriend" is supposedly on depression medication and has a history of cutting. After a couple months my son began to alienate himself from all his friends, stay in his room for hours texting or talking on the phone to her, deleted his Facebook page because she didn't want him talking to other girls. They're way too young for this behavior but I'm "just the mom" so I'm always wrong and usually ignored. For the past three weeks she seems to be digging for things to complain about, stirs up incessant "drama," and keeps him upset and crying at least once a day. I'm worried that (a) he's far too emotionally attached to her; (b) when the end of this first big crush does come he may try to hurt himself; (c) he will revert back to his previous negative behaviors and wind up in a juvenile prison. My son's father is in prison - the girl's parents know him from years back and her dad despises him. According to the girl, he is a constant reminder of his dad and his parents fight and threaten to divorce one another because she's "dating" my son. NONE of this seems even remotely normal to me for any of the parties involved. He sees his counselor this week and I plan to discuss it with him - but my son refuses to see anything negative about this little girl and won't even entertain the fact that he needs to get away from her and fast! I don't know how to help him.

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