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Feeling Hopeless
FeelingHopeless posted:
I hate that I have found a common ground with you all. I hate that my nearly 16-year-old daughter acts the same as your children. I hate that we're all apart of this terrible "club" of parents who have no answers, nowhere to turn, and feel so stuck. Its simply not fair. My daughter has always had issues. Early on I thought she was just more of a challenge, that her personality was just to push people and fight for what she wanted. She's always had a temper, I used to explain it away as her zodiac sign or something. After having my youngest daughter I started to see that my oldest had bigger issues than just her rough personality. Almost 2 years ago she was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar. The docs cautiously use the diagnosis as they say they don't want to label kids who could possibly grow out of this behavior. I held onto that hope until she was placed in the mental hospital again and even after intense therapy, strong medications, and all the support she can possibly have, nothing has changed. I just caught her stealing from Target last week, we had to take her to the ER a day later because she was acting strange and "mysteriously" had benzodiazepines in her system. She has hit me more times than I can count, she has screamed and cussed at me for absolutely no reason day after day. I have keyed locks on my bedroom door, as well as my basement. I have 2 safes to keep valuables in that are behind locked doors so she won't steal from me (again). Her little sister is terrified of her. One minute the older daughter is asking her little sister to hang out with her and do each others hair and the next minute she's screaming at her to get the f&%@ out of her room. There's never any explanation for her blow ups. The only time you can guarantee a blow up is when you question her or catch her doing something wrong. I am completely at my wits end here. I keep wishing she was turning 18 so I could kick her out, but like other moms have said, I worry about that too because she is so naiive. Despite all my efforts to try to teach her regular life skills, she refuses to learn and I can't see how she will make it on her own. I am afraid I will simply have to kick her out of the nest and hope she flies. Feeling rather hopeless at the moment.
Lovingmomwithbipolarson responded:
Hopeless, Bipolar disorder is a very serious mental illness. Have you been able to read any books to help you understand it? Have you joined any support groups such as NAMI? I suggest reading bipolar disorder for dummies. The anger, stealing, and temper tantrums are symptoms. With strong medicine and therapy and she is still acting the same doesn't make sense. Shes either not taking her meds or she her dr. needs to try something else. It took me a year and a half to find a good dr. for my son. He finally gave him a different med that works for him. He was on Serquel for a while and it was only making him worse. This is not an easy situation to be in for anyone and there is no easy fix. If you ask her to leave she will not make it on her own if she is not stable.

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