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    struggling with behavior
    advocate4mykids posted:
    I have a son who is 14 and diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, Anxiety and Depression. We have been managing him with medication and therapy and alot of effort on our part. He has become increasingly oppositional and defiant. We attributed it to the anxiety of starting HS. He has been in school for 4 weeks now, but nothing has changed. He is refusing to go to school now. He missed 2 days this week and 1 day each week the three weeks prior. I am having trouble getting any help for him. His meds don't seem to work. His therapist hasn't made much difference and the school won't be much help. Anyone with suggestions or resources would be appreciated. We live in RI.
    momuv4girls responded:
    Boy, do I understand !!!!!! - and am sorry your son is struggling right now.

    First off, what about his Psychiatrist? My daughter's psychiatrist has been our greatest tool in helping my daughter "stay-on-track". As difficult as it is to pay for visits every week - sometimes we did have to go in every week. Typically, my daughter see's her psychiatrist every month now.
    So, if your son's psychiatrist isn't stepping up, and helping with medication adjustments - or even new med trials if it has gotten to that point, then you need to find a new Dr. !!

    Like you mentioned, this move to High School may be the trigger that has set him off - - not to mention his age, puberty and growth.......

    Does your son have an IEP - or a 504 ?? That would be my 2nd course of action (first being the Psychiatrist).
    If not - write back, and I will give you some ideas there.

    Lastly, have you looked into your local NAMI for support?
    I mean, support for you !! You need help, local resources and some other parents behind you who GET IT ! Most parents don't get it - - they think the child is just lazy or bad, and then they blame the parents for not parenting properly - ugh, I know!!!

    Here is a link to RI NAMI

    My local NAMI has a group for parents, your's may too, I highly suggest you calling - there are really kind and helpful volunteers who work there.

    Hang in there, and do some research, talk to your son's psychiatrist - and if the Dr. is a slacker - then find a new one!!

    I will be out of town until Monday, but if you do write back, I will ck in Monday - until then, take care !!!!!!
    advocate4mykids replied to momuv4girls's response:
    Thank you so much for responding. He does have a 504. We haven't met with the school yet, but I am planning on calling an emergency meeting. Our oldest daughter had similar issues and it was a horrible mess at the HS so I am not expecting much from them. I am looking into finding another Dr. but RI is really lacking in mental health services for this age group. I have been thinking about contacting NAMI, but haven't for some reason...I did just contact CHADD and I am going to go to a meeting. The hardest part of this is that none of my friends or family have these problems with their kids and I blame myself for everything, knowing that is rediculous, I still do. I feel so helpless and trapped in this cycle. We have tried so many things without much improvement in the quality of our lives. I will keep you posted on any progress. Thanks again for your help. BTW I think we have the same first name:)
    momuv4girls replied to advocate4mykids's response:
    You're welcome, I really do understand and empathize with your situation. (((((((((HUGS))))))))

    That's great you are going to a CHADD meeting, but I still urge you to look into NAMI - they too are a wonderful, supportive organization. It feels so good to find other parents who understand the life we lead and our struggles. Also, you may be able to find some good local resources that can help your son.

    Here are some more links for you to explore and call - - maybe one will lead you to find a Dr. for your son. A good Dr. is so very important in helping your son succeed long-term.

    ** Especially this last link - (the Hospital), I believe they could be a great resource and wealth of information to find help for your son.

    Take care, and do write back anytime !!!

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