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Need some help with bipolar stepdaughter
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intookst posted:
Hello, I'll try and shorten my journey that has brought me to this site. I have been married for 13 years to a man whose 29 yr old daughter has been diagnosed as bring bipolar. I'm not sure if this puts a light on all the issues but it makes sense. My stepdaughter and mines relationship took a turn for the worse in 2004 and it has truly been a living hell every since then. I have moved out of my home in order for her to have a place to live (which her dad was supposed to try and help her out on life,which he did not) that was a disaster and I had to let it get repossessed , mobile home, it was so trashed that ins wouldn't even pay yo repair it. Then she has a child who is 7 now. That has been a huge hold on my husband. She moved in with us again in 2010 for 4 months and can I say that was truly the worst 4 months of my life. This girl has no regards or respect for anyone or anything...is this part of it? And now I am being told she has to move in again! Because she can't hold down a job so therefore can't support herself. She was fired Mon from a $40,000 a year job. So now there is a car payment, ins and cell phone bill that obviously she can't pay. Needless to say there has not been a year go by where he hasn't had to support her in some way...she has been living in a budget suites because she has left too many leases without fulfilling them, and had had 2 that her dad put in his name so get can't either. She owes money to every cell phone and electric co there is here in TX. Am I just plain stupid to still be involved with all this?

Now the real problem....the 7 year old. He is in first because he flunked out kindergarten, he is majorly overweight , wearing a 14 husky,. This poor child has not ever lived in the same place for longer than 6 months , they have even slept in her car, which is why I'm being told she is coming here instead of her car...the father knows nothing of all this, or at least I don't think he does. Do I take responsibility and call him or call CPS? I don't doubt that she loves him, she just isn't giving him the stability he needs. I hate seeing what he goes thru even though he's a pretty happy kid but he always wants food. Comfort maybe? Her dad thinks it will send her over the edge if he's taken away but I don't think there's any choice here.

My husband is so distraught over this again as she has alienated everyone else in her life. Which it could very well send him over the edge or hospital.

So is this how life is always going to be with a bipolar person? If so I'm pretty sure I can't deal with it. I told him maybe he needed to see about having her committed and get her the help he can't provide. She is on meds but of course doesn't always take them like she should. Her and I together is like acid on skin,,very volatile., there are so many stories why that I'll save you from reading them. I just need to know if this is something that can be helped if not I need to bail out.

Any and all advice is greatly appreciated, Thank you so much....
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momuv4girls responded:
Whew, what a mess !!! You sound like a decent person who has put up with a lot.

Your husband probably feels guilty and therefore has rescued his daughter far more than he should have.

All this stuff aside - you need to look at this young boy. His own father must not be that involved in his life, or he would know what is going on.....right?
Is the father a decent person with a stable home ? If so, I would call the father and tell him about the latest turn of events.
If he is a good guy - he will rescue this poor boy.....if not, then I would call CPS.

I hate to say this, but with the track record of the step-daughter and how her father rescues her - enables her, she will most likely act this way for a very, very long time.

You might want to contact your local chapter of NAMI. They offer many, many in person support meetings. You can go, listen, talk and then decide how much more of this you want to take - or should take.

((((Hugs))))
-Kathleen


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