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NEED HELP with my 7 yr old daughter...VERY angry and wants 150% attention
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redsox83 posted:
I am exhausted physically and mentally with my 7 year old. To make is brief her dad left the house when she was 2, and he had stayed in her life, but NOT consistently, and I myself have never been the "activity" kind of mom with them (stems from my own childhood). She has always wanted the attention from previous boyfriends that I have had (im not happy with myself but its the past) and it made me start noticing something but I never thought it would progress to what it is now. She demands ALL attention, NEG and POS..

At first it was just at home, not listening to directions, oppositional to the fullest and even though she knows the consequences, she just honestly doesn't care. Now this is happening at school, to where she disrupts everyone, and the teacher has called me on 2 occasions where Ciana (my daughter) wont even get up of her desk (mind you, she has her legs on TOP of her desk, arms crossed).. I am going to try the counselor in her school but I am at a loss, I have tried SO many techniques, and the below the waist spanking doesn't not work, she is a angry kid but so sweet and so smart. She is at the top of her class, never fails. I don't know anymore :,( any help is better than me going crazy because I think I myself might need medication, that's how strong-willed she is.......

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What's the best way to go about starting this process?
  • Bring her to a Therapist for 1 month and see what is found.
  • Spend more time with her when she does do well.
  • Wait and see what happens nex school year.
  • Get her into sports that she might like.
  • Call her PCP and get her in to see other options
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humblejalopy responded:
Hi redsox83,

Sorry to hear about the stress you have been facing in this situation with your daughter. That can be so tough to sort through and navigate and trying to figure out how best to lead and guide our children can feel like a full-time job with overtime hours all by itself. So, all that said, I'd like to offer encouragement to you to keep staying strong for her the way you have been, in spite of everything else.

Are you familiar with Dr. Kevin Leman at all? His book, "Have A New Kid By Friday" has been great for us with our children so far, and he has actually written a new one that looks fantastic, too, and it's called "Parenting Your Powerful Child." I know there are a lot of advice books out there, but I think his approach is less of a technique and more of a lifestyle change, so it might be worth checking out for yourself. And, like your poll mentioned, it might also be beneficial to talk things through with her and a therapist. Sometimes getting everything out on the table is so helpful when wrestling through these types of emotions. If you need help tracking down a good therapist, I actually happen to work for a non-profit group that has counselors on staff who would love to do a phone consult (at no cost to you) and offer some guidance, including pointing you towards qualified counselors in your local area. If that's something you might be interested in, they've got a page where you can connect with them online and get that phone call set up.

I hope some of this helps a little, and that you are able to find some hope through all of this, especially during the special time of Christmas and all the hope and promise wrapped up in the heart of the season. You both will be in my prayers!
 
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momuv4girls responded:
This is very difficult to sort out with young ones. There are probably a lot of things going on that complicate it......

No consistent father, previously (glad to hear you've changed this part) men coming in and out, discipline issues etc.....

When you have a challenging child, it is super important to be consistent, stable and yet firm and loving.

I think you should start out with having a frank talk with her PCP, and then get a referral to a really, really good Child Psychologist, and possibly some parenting classes for you.

I took a parenting class for "challenging children", and I did learn a lot !

I know how hard parenting a difficult child is - so I really sympathize with you !! Get some help for both you and your daughter.

Take care,
-Kathleen


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