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when is enough , enough?
hlmjangel posted:
im 51 i was diagnose with everything but fybromyalgia, final diagnoses at 36, been suffering!!! since a child. iv lost everything because of this illness i dont want!! finally after 'my' recearch' i found lycria, only 3 days on it, but finally im being treated for 'fybromyalgia' i do suffer ptsd, chronic, but fybromyalgia 'depresson' exasibated my ptsd, iv no family support, i live with my dear daughter who has been subjected to my outbursts, she is only thing that keeps me going. my life is 'housebound' no friends, im just exausted from this 'thing' taking over my life, please tell me im not the only one? im hoping to connect this way, the lonlyness is killing me.
djStarrJunkie responded:
Your not the only one.... 15yrs ago I was a fire-cracker, going everwhere & doing everthing.... I was FM diagonosed 10 yrs ago, and boy has my life change. I call it a 'lucky' day if I get the strenth to clean the kitchen, or bathroom, let alone the house. None of my previous 'friends' get it about my FM. Needless to say I've become my own best-pal...And it IS very lonely. Last year I'd missed sooo many events because I couldn't get outta bed & the pain makes me feel obnoxious and out of control. I STILL don't know what to do except reach out- At least then I can verbalize my FM irrtabilities with others who can understand EXACTLY how I feel.
DLHaynes replied to djStarrJunkie's response:
That's why I'm here... I can't believe how much my life has changed and my energy has drained in just a few years! :_ ( I feel like I am on a downward spiral right out of life and I'm only 45. GREAT!! I start getting my affairs in order and try to keep working but I had so much more planned...
Spence1999 replied to DLHaynes's response:
I was diagnosed with FMS in 1987, I didn't take it serious enough to stop all the crap that was in my life until around 1994 when it started to get out of control & still I did not listen to my Dr. when he told me that I better get control of the stress in my life, I wanted to but my family thought it was bull crap so here I am 51 & my FMS, CFS, RLS, IBS, & Insomnia has taken over my life. I have tried everything they have out to help me & nothing has worked except the pain meds helped a little but now my Dr. says there's no proof the pain meds help with FMS so he took me from 12 to 4 a day & now I have nothing to help me, my family acts like I'm a bother because I can't do anything anymore, I know I'm misable most of the time & they are just tierd of putting up with me but that leaves no one for me to even talk to & its hard for me to deal with, so from one FMS person to another ' get control now because it doesn't get any easier with time. I wish I would of listened in the begining. now I have no one that really cares except Jesus, atleast I can talk to him. And one day I will never suffer again, that is the only thing that keeps me going.
DPRAYING responded:
omg 2 YEARS I have sheltered myself . I sooooooooooooooo get it but my family does not .It is so hard,so hard,Ive been a soccer coach and p;ayer for over 30 years ,but not now! I just need a support group to talk to so I know Im really going thru this with Someone ?Do you know what I mean ? Some days I have attacks /cycles/onsets where I just cant di anything .I feel completely crippled.Do you ever feel like that ?I never feel great ,but some days I feel good, and Ill take good
DPRAYING replied to DLHaynes's response:
Totally Totally realate 48.....It sucks right ?
RacerLady503 responded:
Definitely NOT the only one.....
It only holds me back if I 'let' it
RacerLady503 replied to DPRAYING's response:
35 and completely relate..... My daughters 14 & 9 can tell you all about how it has affected me in their lives...... Ughh I feel like a total bit** most of the time. Don't notice it until you have a "good" day, even a "good" day has pain.... Totally sucks!
It only holds me back if I 'let' it
anglake responded:
I don't know "when enough is enough." I do know that I've had enough. It would take this whole page and more to describe all that I suffer with. Fibromyalgia was diagnosed in 1998 after several years of seeking a diagnoses. Most docotors didn't believe it was real back then. I know some now who still don't get it. I also have everything that goes along with FMS and you all know what they are. I am a nurse (RN) and have found that many nurses have Fibro. I wonder why? I have a Specialist for everything because I'm a "complicated" case, or a "lemon," as some doctors would say.
When you've suffered as much as we have, we can't expect others to understand. The best that we can hope for is some compassion and willingness to learn, especially if our loved ones care.
I have an exceptional husband, who does everything when I can't. I have not been able to hold down a full time job since I became ill. I am on disability, but would gladly give it up if I could feel like "me" again. However, I'm afraid the "me" I used to know is gone forever, and has been for fourteen years.
Don't you think one of the hardest parts is acceptance? Accepting that you can't do this or do that? Accepting that pain and fatigue will haunt you forever? Accepting that you are no longer going to be "normal?" Accepting that if you do too much today, you will PAY tomorrow?
I, for one, am tired of "ACCEPTING" all of it. Take a pill for this, another for that, another to stop the side effects from the first one.
I am so tired....and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Is life really worth all of this? And if not, why can't WE decide?
I do not live a productive life. It takes a lot of strength, energy and courage to live.
RacerLady503 replied to anglake's response:
I feel your frustration. I've only been dealing with it for a couple years, but I completely understand. When they ask me what it is I "can't" do anymore - well.... there really isn't anything that I "can't" do anymore, the question is how long do I want to suffer afterward for doing the things I used to love? When things get bad for me I get very angry. My injuries and the start of this were caused by being rear ended by two different people in a three week period. One was just flat out not paying attention and the other I saw before she hit me.... she was on the phone looking the other direction. Their lack of attention put me in an awful spot. The FM sucks. But my blood pressure is completely out of control and has been since the accidents. 200's/140's for a 35 yr old (5'3" 120lb) that had zero health issues before is going to end up costing my kids thier momma if the docs don't figure out how to help me manage my condition and get my bp to normal ranges.

Acceptance is wrong and seems - I can't even find the words for it right now. It's the hand I've been dealt and I have no option but to "accept" it.... It's pretty much the only option I have at this point.
It only gets the best of me if I let it

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