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Always something new to learn...
alv4n posted:
I was diagnosed with fibro almost 7 years ago, and it has waxed and waned. I have tried this and that medication and stopped as many as I've started. Right now I'm learning how to swim and working with a PT/chiropractic team to work on my spine. These things are helping, but I still ache daily, I still need to nap or take complete passing-out rests throughout the day, and I still struggle to find the energy to do what needs to be done and what I want to do.

I learned something very interesting yesterday, though, when I was out to lunch with my husband. We were sitting at the table, waiting for our food, and I looked over at him and it occurred to me that, he was just sitting. Just sitting and feeling fine. I asked him, "Are you feeling fine, just sitting here right now, just waiting for our food?" and of course, he was terrified this was some sort of trick question. But once he saw it was safe, he said "yes". I said, "So, you do not have any aches or pains while you're just sitting there" And he said "no". And I told him, that while we were sitting there, doing such a normal everyday thing, I was in agony. I told him my upper back/ shoulders were like on fire, or sort of crampy, but really just painful, hard to describe. And I said to him "you know, I always feel like this when I'm just sitting." And he was completely surprised. He said he thought I was only hurting when I actually complained about it. I said that if I complained every time I was aching, it would be all that came out of my mouth. Even after 7 years with this syndrome and my husband being with me all the way, he still didn't really get it. I don't think anybody can, except for other fibro sufferers.

Do you just assume that the people who know you so well and know that you have fibro really understand how it pervades every day of our lives? This was my reminder that this is not the case and that people are not mind readers. I keep a lot to myself, but it was an important moment between me and my husband yesterday, because tensions between us had been growing. I wanted to blame him for everything (who doesn't, right?), but now I have learned more about my role in it, and am so grateful for it.

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Do you just assume that the people who know you so well and know that you have fibro really understand how it pervades every day of our lives?
  • Yes, they know I have fibro so they must know that I hurt.
  • Yes, my spouse and family know because they see me everyday.
  • No, I realize my family does not always "walk in my shoes".
  • No, and it makes me feel isolated and alone.
  • No, because to assume it to make an "ass" of "u" and "me".
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