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It Could Always Be Worse-Focus On The Positive
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melissanmike posted:
Focus on the positive. Four little words that can at times be SO hard to do. That's my goal. Every day. Especially on the hard, pain filled, bringing me to tears and wearing me out days.

Lately, I've been having a whole lot of those days. It's been a rough and at times brutal Summer. I've fallen more times than ever before, had more issues with my burning skin and the deep, unending pain in my muscles and joints. I've been reduced to crying more times than I care to remember. Not just in pain but also in frustration. I've fallen asleep at incredibly inappropriate times and have woken up with people staring at me. Which left me wondering if I snored or drooled. lol

Through all of this, I keep reminding myself to focus on the positive. It could be so much worse, like a life threatening disease. I'm so thankful that it's not. It sucks, don't get me wrong. I'm irritated and in pain more times than I care to be. I can be short with my loved ones, co-workers and friends. There are days I wonder why and even how I could even have friends or people that want to spend time with me when I repeatedly cancel and am unable to follow through on plans set in advance. But, they do..and I'm so grateful to those that have stuck with me. That haven't given up on me or walked away.

I've had that happen. I've had people tell me off and never speak to me again because I wasn't able to meet with them yet, again. They had reached their limit of cancellations, exhausted their patience, and quite obviously had no clue as to what I was and still am going through.

Those people? They weren't friends. Not true friends that cared about me, Melissa. The person behind the cancellations and broken lunch dates. And, it hasn't all been friends that have dropped me like a hot potato. I've had a cousin livid with me over me backing out of attending a holiday dinner. Because of this monster, FMS. I haven't spoken to her in almost 4 years. She told me off and read me the riot act. It was painful to hear the ugly things she was spewing at me. I've got to say, though: ever since that ugly scene, I've had the quietest, most peaceful 4 years ever. lol

I keep a journal. In it I write down what I'm grateful for. I've also been writing down the names of people in my life that are having a rough time...that life is tougher on them right now than on me, their stories..and how they're coping. The parents who lost their child to drunk drivers, the mother with breast cancer, the young lady recently diagnosed with MS, the father whose wife is dying slowly, painfully while their children are too young to know what's going on. I pray for these people. And, I remind myself that in all that I've dealt with..on even the toughest, most humiliating day with this monster, FMS...I have so much to be grateful for. So much to be thankful for. So much to be positive about.

Because these people I've mentioned? They're still smiling. They're staying positive. Still singing and dancing. Laughing in the face of so much pain and despair. Finding the joy in the everyday moments of life. They amaze me. I'm in awe of their positive attitudes. These people are facing some of the worst things that could possibly happen and they're still happy.

Surely, through all of the craptastic things going on in my life...in my fight with this monster, FMS...through my pain and frustration...I can find happiness, too. I can laugh at myself and find the joy hidden beneath the humiliating moments. I can smile and sing instead of cry. And I can find peace and relief when all of my symptoms are rearing their ugly heads...screaming at me and trying to bring me down.

It's not easy. It's really not. But, if these people can do it....I'm determined to do it, too. Life's too short to be miserable. You have to find the joy hidden beneath..hold happiness in your hands and never let it go. I strive for this and I'm not going to give up. Positivity. I'm determined to keep it.
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TCL38 responded:
Melissa,

This is one of the most beautiful, eloquent posts I have seen in a long time. I hope everyone reads it.

And you used one of my favorite words "craptastic" so that just makes me smile. I also use "craptacular" which means there are cappy things in my life BUT my life is still spectacular.

As hard as it is on any given day, it always can be worse so why anyone would want to sit around complaining is beyond me. It wastes so much precious energy.

Thank you for your beautiful post.

Tanya
 
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Booch007 responded:
Good Morning Melissa,
You have all the kets for survival here....and you have learned it is hard to maintain the social life we had*......

I am sorry about those friends, I have shut down too...but I get my butt out too. I am blessed* with working with the sick, in saying that I see all spectrum's of illness and at times I look up and say "Thank you for my *thing**, everyone is given something to challenge them. This will not kill kill me, just keep me in line!

I use my road and philosophy, like you...to help others who are lost. There are so many who have no mantra for the day, can't see a blessing if it hit them in the eye....I try and open their hearts and eyes to SEE.

Chronic illness is debilitating. The body and soul get affected.....so staying as positive as you can, is the best way to fight.

Good thread to start my day.....P A C E is the mantra for this weekend and I will hold to it.

Love the gratitude journal, it is so helpful in a low, or just to see back to your thoughts of the past. I think as you age, you get wiser and wiser, and see silly things in yourself.

Have a good weekend and I hope today is the best* day of the week for you...Hugs, Nancy B
 
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alispazz responded:
Melissa

I love your post, several months ago I started trying to find a positive post for this board and each week it was a challenge to find postitive things for the whole group, many of them were wonderful uplifting interactions...those who were down found something to smile about and those of us who were up enjoyed seeing what made others up...Sometimes it became silly but oh so much fun...even Dr Mark joined in occasionally, I have seen others stepping into my role and I am so glad that we can share the joy and laughter

On a recent trip, I found a wall board that to me says how I should spend my life

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

We all have times when life seems to beat us down a little or a lot....but the joy of waking up each new day with the anticipation of a new discovery about life around you, or something within yourself makes it all worth while.

Hugs

Ali
Follow your heart and not your dreams..the dreams are from your mind and can lead you astray, the heart never can..SMOLOL Hugs Ali
 
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HOPEFIBRO replied to alispazz's response:
Thank you all for your posts. You make me smile in spite of the pain. Love the craptastic and learning to dance in the rain. You are all so awesome!
 
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pocotaz responded:
OMG.... you bring tears of joy in my heart andeyes because you are so determined to see life with OPEN eyes and your heart is huge...

I commend you for always striving to see good in things ...no matter what level of pain... oh how wonderful... this message with your heart felt thoughts and feeling liffted me up so much and gave me hope that others out there livingwith FM like we are can read and understand that it is our choice to make to see the positive !!!!

Thank you for sharing your inner strength with us...this may just help another to really look at life with FM differently and give them hope...the more positive one thinks the better life is...no matter how hard it is...it doesn't have to be...and we can always push to reach that positive !!!!

Bless you and i give you hugs .....Linda
 
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Socialwrkr responded:
Melissa,

You got it all so right. Fibro isn't in our heads, but one of the first steps to accepting this and moving forward is making the decision too. I have fibro, it doesn't have me. I love that phrase as it really does say that WE can be in charge, not this demon!

Take care, so glad you are posting here and offering such great support and help!
Be Gentle on Yourself!!! ~~Aimee http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fibromyalgia-Support-Groups-by-Aimee http://www.lumigrate.com/ Fibromyalgia forum writer, Aimee
 
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1wareaglefan responded:
I, too, thank you, Melissa for such a beautiful inspirational post. You said all the things that I needed to be reminded of today, and in the most eloquent way.

Aimee, I also liked what you said about you having fibro; it doesn't have you! That's what I need to keep reminding myself everyday. That, plus the fact that so many people are suffering in far worse ways than I am, as Melissa mentioned.

Thanks, everyone, for all your positive words of encouragement! That's why I love coming to this board everyday. Love you...Elizabeth
 
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karenrugs responded:
Way to to Melissa. Keep up the positive attitude.

I really liked your post.

Hugz,

Karen
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.
 
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mrahoe replied to karenrugs's response:
thank you for your wonderfull post . . and im going to borrow craptastic. . thats funny. . and i cant say it without a smile. . big gentle hugs

john
 
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melissanmike responded:
Thank you all so much for the kind words! How very nice of you!

I really do believe we have to lift each other up in this battle. And, if we can't get some help with the lifting, we just have to be determined to do it ourselves. Grab happiness and positivity by their tails and never let them go. It's not always easy to do but, it helps me to remember it could always be worse.......because it really could.

Yes, I love the words craptastic and craptacular! : ) I admit that craptastic is my favorite. And of course, anybody can use it. It certainly helps explain so much! lol

I hope you all have a wonderful evening. Thank you again for the kind words. I do appreciate them so much.


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