Fibromyalgia Community

Good luck making this decision, I know it has to be an awful and hard one! I think you should do what your body is telling you to do. If you work part time and apply for SSI and can't seem to get the SSI you can always try to apply for another part time job or ask to be full time again. Do you think your supervisor would allow you to be on part time for a trial period while you are waiting to see what is best for you?

I really hope everything works out for you!

Now that you have been "outed" it seems to me that any type of retaliation your boss does could be called discrimination.

I'm not a lawyer, but I know a coupe of people who were fired when their bosses found out about a medical condition, and they won lawsuits.

I worked with a woman who got pregnant one month after being hired, and her (our) boss was going to let her go after the 90-day probationary period because she was pregnant. She said "discrimination" and kept her job. She didn't come back after the baby was born, fearing some kind of reprisal.

You may want to talk to your doc about others who might have gone through it. Good luck!

This is hard one, but I understand BOTH positions.

You guys always say "if they could just walk in my shoes for one day",

Well, put yourself in your bosses shoes....you hired an employee to be at work every day on time doing their job. Despite good medical reasons for being out or late they still have to have someone do the job. It is nothing personnel it is BUSINESS.....nothing else. If you can't work, then don't, but don't make the employer out to be the bad guy as most of you do.

What if your doctor always canceled your appts or had someone else see you. You would eventually move on to a more consistent doctor.

Have you looked into FMLA?

Hi Anon_2912: I am currently looking into FMLA and Short-term disability. I'm trying to eliminate everything that my employer has to offer before resignation/being let go.
I do see your point. Thank you for your input. Sorry for replying so late. Had a major flare-up Thursday & Friday!
Take care & God Bless!

Hi Katmandulou! Sorry for replying so late. Thursday Afternoon I went home in sooooo much pain and that night I was in the ER getting a shot of morphine & phenergran. Then Friday-same pain different day. I was back in the ER Friday Night-same shots!
I had my employer do the same thing when I was pregnant and my 90-day probation was up. My employer told me I should have be honest with him in the beginning. Then he escorted me out and took my badge. I did tell him that he was discriminating against me due to the pregnancy but he insisted on letting me go. I went straight over and spoke to his supervisor and I was back to work 10 minutes later!
I will bring up the "discrimination" issue.
I also know that they were accomodating to someone who couldn't do their job duties due to a medical condition. BUT I think my situation is because I can't make it to work. The doctor hasn't officially released me from my job duties. I'm a receptionist for a police department. I sit most of the day. What is killing me is the days that I am sooooo exhausted/fatigued!
For example, if I were to close my eyes for just a second I could go to sleep.
Get this, I've been using my lunch hour to sleep! I've been sleeping in my car. I set my cell phone alarm for 12:55pm so that I don't over sleep or return back from lunch late. It seems to help get me through the afternoon.
Thank you for replying! I'll keep you informed of what happens. I'm trying not to get upset or depressed about this. Help me find the positive in this situation. Awesome!

Just know that FMLA, at least mine will not pay anything & I do not have short term disability.

I have used FMLA, but unpaid, or use up my vacation for medical reasons. We do not have sick leave either. I don't have a choice either in working, but my motto is "I am miserable at home, may as well get paid for it.".

Chiming in a few days late...I like forgetful's addage about getting paid for being miserable:) Frankly, for me, work helps me forget about my feelings of uselessness at home. I am on my feet most of the day, have to lift a little, but my coworkers are very understanding and helpful if I'm having a 'bad day'. My boss knows I have fibro, and I have missed some days because of it, but I like to think I make up for that when I am there. I do work part-time (30 hours), and that helps.

Mitz, if financially you can't do it, don't. Hang in there, look for better days. If there are meds or supplements you haven't tried, try them because you never know. My oldest brother is on dialysis and did his best to keep his job, but finally had to quit. He hates it! Lost benefits, wages, living off SS disability...totally stinks. We have a large family, and we all pitch in for him, and although he appreciates that, I think it makes him feel worse sometimes, a blow to his self esteem in my opinion.

I hope you are feeling better today. Let us know what you decide. Take care!
Pam in Georgia

Pam, I totally agree with what you are saying. There have been so many times that I have doubted my ability to continue to work full time but I really can NOT afford to work PT or go on disability. For one thing, I am too young (32) and I'm the only person in my family who has a job. My father and his girlfriend live with me and I'm a single mom of a two year old. My ex-husband quit his job in October, so - no child support, either. I am the only one who can pay the mortgage and utilities and provide food for the family.

Life is tough - but I think it's good for my self-esteem and overall happiness to earn a living and have the social interaction at work. There are many times where I am just trying to get through the day because I don't feel well. I don't worry about chores around the house - I just go to work, and after my daughter is in bed, I crash. There are days where I feel good and can do more. Don't give up, Mitz - just do the best you can. Be good to yourself whenever you can and remember you are a fighter.

(((Soft Hugs)))

Jessie

Hi Jesse; you know how they always say "there's always someone out there worse off than you"? Well, my prayers go out to you. Did you apply for that "home retention plan" that the government were offering?
I put in for it but it was a NO GO! I applied when I was getting back to work and we were denied because according to them I was making too much! $10.00 an hour barely pays for the mortgage! I wish I could work 2 jobs.
That's a joke. I can barely make it to work @ this job let alone try to work a second job! Ha, I made myself laugh! (giggle, giggle).
Last night I was down and EXHAUSTED! I just wanted to take all my meds and just sleep and not wake up! I know that sounds bad, but I really feel like that sometimes! I have heard about people who have had a life after death experience and they talk about how beautiful it was when they died.
How they were surrounded by this feeling of "love and affection"
That the sleep they were in was so relaxing and restful. Something like that.
I so wish for those days...where I could have a real good night's sleep....Even though I take pills to make me sleepy, I still wake up soooo tired. I'm so exhausted at work and I sleep in my car on my lunch hour. That's the life of FMers.
I want to start this life over again.
Wouldn't that be cool! I would want to be a skinny b*&%$ and be athletic. I have these dreams where I'm running. I'm not winded or getting shin splints. I can feel the ground beneath me and I push off with each step and I can feel the air going through my hair as it brushes my scalp. It's like I can run forever! That's what I'd like to be and do.
Back to Life, Back to Reality!
I have found myself getting lax onmaking dinner. My spouse (bless his soul) has been making dinner. He also works a 10-hour day then comes home & cooks for us. I take care of our 9 month old son (feed, change and give baths). I still think I am getting a raw deal. But I appreciate all that he does when I am going through a flare up.
I applaude you! That would be tough doing it on your own. I will keep you in my prayers as I do allmy peeps with FM.
Thank you for replying--Mitz

Hi Mitz,

I'm late posting as well.. so sorry. I actually started a new job today. I remember posting a month or so back, in the same position you are in now. The pain was unbearable, and I was so freakin' tired!!!

I had no choice but to work, and I'm glad I did. I like feeling that I'm contributing, and others have mentioned the aspect of social relationships, which are so important.

I did leave the job I was at for 6 1/2 years. Not only because they were not understanding of my position, but because I wasn't happy there anymore, and I think the stress of that made the pain worse.

I so wish you the best in whatever choice you make.. it's so hard to make decisions when all you can think about is the pain you're feeling.

Very soft (((hugs))) to you.. Vicki

if you can afford to do it - do it. thats just my opinion.


i had to make this decision in 2002 when i was told to quit or be fired. i ended up quitting and applying for disability.i was in the position to sell my house and live off that money and my 401k for awhile, then had a wonderful old friend who said i could stay with her till my disability came through. OMG. that was hard. it took till dec 2005 to finally get it. i have been happy since then even though it was one of the hardest times in my life. G-d only gives you as much as you can handle. lol. He was really playing a good joke on me then.

seriously, only you and your body can decide what is best for you. listen to all the advice others give you then really think about it before making any decisions you cant reverse. take it slow and easy and know the people on this site are in your corner for all the support we can give.

im new here and have had really positive feedback from everyone and have read what some have written to others on the site. stay on this site and you'll have that little added support you need when theres no one to talk to who understands fibro. these are good people.

best of luck to you,
mag