Fibromyalgia Community

Hi Elizabeth,

Yes! I think about this all the time. When you get right down to it, FM is all in our heads. Stimulation is processed abnormally, causing us to feel pain where people without FM would not perceive the same stimulus as pain.

But, all of that being said - there is a legitimate problem. There is no way to ignore your symptoms - even if you have the most positive outlook and you are skilled at distracting yourself from what you are feeling.

The most difficult part of FM is that we don't look sick. But we're all just doing the best we can.

Hope that helps!
Jessie

I also feel like its "all in my head" especially days when i feel somewhat good, or i feel like im makin excuses when my family says "just say your ok and you will be! mind or matter"

There are days i feel i have been missed dignosed too and wonder if i should do more research or get another opinion.

Thanks, Jessie and Shoosha....you both made me feel better just to know it's not just me! And on the days when I feel not quite as bad, I think that way more....like you said, Shoosha.

I guess on my flaring days, I don't question it at all!

I'm sure that we have all wondered the same thing - is it bad processing in my brain or am I truly crazy? I prefer that opinion that I have an unexplained ailment instead of the crazy part!

Lou

All the time!
But i tell people I am lazy all the time extra on top of using Fibro as a excuse LOL Nobody seems to believe me though!

I always wonder it after i've had a really good day and managed to ignore and "forget" any pain and think "wow it must be in my head if i can have good days! It must be an excuse for my extra laziness!"
But then i have a flare up and thing "yeah nah, SOoo not making it up!"

Hi, Jessie, we haven't chatted in a while. Hi, everyone. I just wanted to comment on the "looking good," "not looking sick," comments. I used to still look good. I could do my hair, put on my makeup, my pretty clothes, cute shoes, and rush off to work, always in early, do a great job, come home, clean a little, cook a really good meal, enjoy some hubby time, maybe even a little lovin'. I could go on. Now, it takes three hours to bathe, do all the maintenance work (it hurts to put on mascara, all my underwear hurts, can't wear the cute shoes any longer), and then I may have a 2 to 3 hour window before fibro slams me flat, and that's it. And I don't look good any longer. I still managed to look pretty good until about 6 years ago. Now every day, I look more and more tired, and I wonder why I even make the effort. So anyone who looks as me sees a tired, middle-aged woman, and I'm sure they probably wonder why I look so bad, but I'll bet if I said I have fibro, they'd instantly have to be somewhere else, have to run, get away from them, IS IT CONTAGIOUS?! And even I look at the woman in the mirror, and think "she looks so tired, wonder what's wrong with her".

I'm really tired, it's really late, our family situation is probably going to kill me, but I'm so glad you are all there to let me vent, and I know you all understand.

Besides, beauty comes from the inside, right. We're all still beautiful where it really counts (at least, some days). I think... Anybody else?

Hugs to all.

Joan

You know Elizabeth, I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years, so I know about being unmotivated to do things and such. That's the kind of thing I tell myself "just do it" and I can do it. But, the stiff muscles all over, the inability to get up from sitting and walk normally, the migraines, the diahrrea/constipation, the sharp stabbing pains out of nowhere, etc. etc. in no way have I doubted the physical reality of the FM!

On a very good day, I dare to hope it is going away, and I wonder how that could be. Was it all a nightmare? But then it comes back...

I truely do wish to do the things I used to do!!! I very much enjoyed them all. Maybe someday I'll feel up to doing them all again.

No offense taken, Elizabeth. I hope you have more of those good days where you wonder if it's gone away!

Well, guess what?! I'm not wondering today!! This ain't all in my head. I woke up hurting so much worse...out of nowhere!

Now I'm wondering if there's a pattern here...yesterday I was feeling more exhausted, then today more pain. I probably should be writing this all down and look for a pattern.

Thanks, All, for your replies!

Hi elizabeth,

When I first went to my doctor, before I was diagnosed, she asked me why I hadn't told her about the pain sooner and I said "I thought it was just because I was getting older". she told me that it isn't normal to hurt like this for that reason. Thank goodness she cared enough to test just about everything she could and then, with concurrence from a rheumatologist, told me it was fibro.

Yes, I still think these thoughts and they are normal. I think it's because you used to do so much and now, you can't do it anymore. Holidays are the hardest. It seems like, even if you cut out doing many of the things you used to do, it's still too much, no matter how much help you get. The last few years, Thanksgiving and Christmas have been so difficult that I have literally been in tears with the pain before the dinner dishes are done.

We're NOT lazy. We just can't do everything we want to. Pacing yourself is best for you and your family. Having them help or even do the majority of the preparations is in everyone's best interests. My son told me that I spent many years taking care of him and now it is his turn to take care of me.

Continue to do what you can and know that the rest is not that important. I know it's hard to do after a lifetime of nurturing others. Now it is their turn. You are what is important. Take good care of yourself!

Many soft hugs coming your way,

Maggie

Hello Elizabeth.....MiMi in NC....I just read your "silly question" and had to laugh....I have not been keeping up like I should with the posts....I do on occasion though read them...

I do want to comment to you about this....as I know you have been here for a while....I thought that you were already aware that FM is in our head and just about every other place on our bodies as well....I happen to know that mine is also in my spine.....since I have to sleep in a recliner still...if I want to sleep and be able to get up....I do on occasion try to sleep in the bed....but after about 4-5 hours of lying down....I wake up in so much pain...that I can hardly get out of bed....

Now....I have no idea why this is....but as long as I sleep in the recliner....I do not have the kind of pain that lying down brings....but I also sleep on pillows....when I sleep in my recliner....and a lot of them....so perhaps this is why...

I do NOT think that FM is just an excuse either....I have had it long enough to know that it is real....much more so than I wish...I can also tell that when I overdo something....and put myself into a flare...that it is real....there are times when I just forget...especially if I am feeling ok...and trying to do things that perhaps I should not do...but without a doubt....I soon remember that I have crossed the line...

So...with this being said...I hope that this helps you....you are not alone....though...as when I first got sick....I did think that perhaps I was just imagining the pain...but I soon learned that this was not true...

Take care and good luck.


MiMi

Elizabeth, too bad you didn't get more days of wondering if it's all in your head! Maybe you jinxed it by daring to post about it. LOL.

Hope you recover quickly. ((hugs))

Margaret

Hi Elizabeth!
I had one of those days yesterday. I felt pretty good, i had energy, didn't have to use my tramodol but once, and thought, hey maybe I've been over thinking this whole fibro thing. Even my knees were feeling pretty good! I also thought, why am I making such a big deal about this, I feel terrible those times I yelled at a nurse for not refilling my scripts, what was I thinking!! Wow! Maybe it's over and I'm cured! Like all of you, I try and cram all those projects into the day I feel best, now today I'm paying for that extra burst of energy. This is not old age, cause I know how a normal day feels. I want that day back and I want more of those days. So I try and stay positive cause I know those days are achievable, its finding the perfect combo and sticking with it. Don't be hard on yourself sister, just do your best.

Hi Elizabeth,
I know exactly how you feel. I have those feelings on the days I feel pretty good. This weekend was great. I had energy, I didn't have tense shoulders, I slept pretty good. I try and cram as much as I can into these days. I also think, maybe it is old age, maybe I am just lazy on my off days. I regret calling my nurse and yelling at her for not refilling my meds, or not going to a party, but today it's back along with the anxiety, and tense shoulders, so I know old age is different. Old age is how I feel on my good days, but I can still do things aside from a little knee ache. Lazy comes from feeling good enough to do nothing. This is different. I'll take a lazy old age day any time. I stay positive cause I know i can have those good days, and I'm working towards that goal. I want them back everyday. So,don't be too hard on yourself sister.

definitly. but then i remember all the days that i had severe pain and i know it's real. i know when i'm being lazy and i just have to remind myself that life doesn't stop just because i do and if i don't get out there and live it to the best of my ability then i'll miss out on all the good things in life.
about not wanting to go out, sometimes some alone time is just what i need so i take a hot shower to relax and then go to my room and sleep.
thank you for the question,
sarah