Hello there!
This is my first discussion on here. I have been reading all the messages over the past several weeks and am comforted to read that I am not the only one suffering from FM.
No one in my life seems to understand me or my struggles. I feel very alone due to my chronic pain, trouble sleeping, decreased mood and the fatigue. I have always felt like the black sheep. People tend to think I am antisocial, stuck up, always sick, depressed, not outgoing, boring, a home body.... The list goes on! I feel that I am always needing to explain myself.
Over the past 20 years with having had more bad days versus good days, FM has made me become pretty isolated and now at present without any girlfriends. I simply cannot keep up with anybody. I often have to back out of things, arrive late, leave early or simply say no a lot of the time as I am feeling not great. I do not have much evergy so I feel I need to pick and choose wisely the activities that I take part in. I have always tended to relate better with older people. I often refer to myself as a young women trapped in an old womens body. This makes me feel sad, as I am 36 years young.
I am at a point where my body hurts so badly, that getting anything done is a huge effort. My main form of excercise used to be walking, but am now at a point where my feet, ankles and knees hurt so damn bad, that I can hardly stand it. I hobble around most of the time. My forms of excercise these days is riding my bike and using my eliptical trainer. As for the weight gain from the meds, I feel I am in a catch 22. It hurts so bad most days to do anything, let alone excercise. Getting out of bed or out of a chairécouch is difficult and uncomfortable. I have to be on these meds for the pain, to improve my sleep and mood, but I am getting heavier by the day. I am also very sensitive to all the symptoms of the prescription medication. The meds increase my appetite and slow down my metabolism. I do not feel good in any of my clothes. Most are too small or worn between the thighs. I do not want to go clothes shoppping and have to go up yet another size or even go out much, as I am embarrassed of my weight. I feel pretty stuck.
FM affects every part of my life. My relationships, work, excercise, personal time, sleep, family time... I take each day and night as it comes. I find thats all I can do, as looking at the bigger picture is too overwelming. I am considering seeing a Naturopathic doctor. Any comments from anyone would be helpful.
Thank you,
Annie