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Fortunately using diagnostic procedures she convinced me nobody would think it was all in my head. Still I never told anyone for 15 years. I could deal with the pain. I could deal with nearly being late to work because I was so tired I wanted to cry. I could even deal with losing things 20 times a day and appearing totally disorganized.
But when I started losing words a couple of years ago my friends and coworkers were finally informed.
Maybe it is because my mom has Alzheimer's? I am totally paranoid about the whole gray matter loss associated with fm and I feel often embarrassed when words elude me.
Thank goodness for the time and revision opportunities of texts and email (btw it probably took 25-30 min to compose this)
Prayers and soft hugs for you!
Take care.
Lynn
If a history of losing words is that predominate, and your mom has Alzheimer's, I think there is some testing that can be done to see if you might be in stages of Alzhiemer's. A friend of mine was tested, and started on a medication to help slow it down, hopefully it works. She seems to think it is.
And I lose words all the time. It's frustrating because words have always been my thing. I used to be a walking dictionary, and now I have trouble putting together sentences. But it's just the fog, and I've noticed I lose fewer words when I'm less foggy.
Hope everyone has great day.
Donna
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Joan
When I first realized I was losing words, train of thought; was so extremely easily distracted; unable to read the simplest sentences without having to re-read several times before sinking in with comprehension; was having to ask people to repeat themselves because I "just didn't get it;" and more along this line, I requested testing from my psychiatrist. She graciously complied and the results showed no signs of early dementia---a huge relief. On the other hand, I have been told the cognitive impairment is probably now permanent due to the medications I have been on for the past 3 and a half years! I've been wanting to wean and be on a regiment of supplements only, but she believes even if I were to succeed in the weaning, I'd still have the cognitive impairments.
This is tremendously frustrating because I highly value competence and now I lack the very thing I based my self-esteem on for years. Moreover, I am unable to be employed because I can't remember oral instructions, get too distracted to follow through in a reasonable order and time frame (even if instructions are written), and I can no longer articulate in meetings or presentations or trainings. arrrggghhh!
I am now taking methylphenidate hcl 10mg, which is generic Ritalyn, just so I can have about 4 hours daily to feel alert and somewhat energetic. I may feel alert but I still do not think clearly enough to be satisfactorily productive in employment.
In order to fill this expansive void in my life, I volunteered to organize a church community library, based in my own church. I'm excited about its prospects; I love everything about books; and I'm meticulously organized (although it requires hours of my time to be so!).
My pastor has been incredibly patient and reminds me no one else has stepped forward to do the job! lol But, I've been at it for 11 months and I've only carded about 300 books, meaning I've only put in an estimated 30 hours---IN ELEVEN MONTHS! There have been weeks, going into months, when I am unable to show up. When I do, I am unable to work longer than 2 hours, and that's with having to get up from my seat 3 to 4 times, to move about, working out the kinks;) It's a good thing they are not paying me, that's all I can say!
I've always said I'd love to live to be 100 years old, so long as I retain my mental faculties. Well, that is no longer such a strong desire. Normal fuzziness that does come from aging is one thing, but this damn fibro fog---denseness---is maddening.
Since this has happened, my social skills and life have atrophied. I do not even attend church services! I cannot sit that long; I cannot carry on a conversation, all but for a few niceties---how dull is that!
Realizing and trying to come to terms with this weakness, I do try to go to the warm water pool at our YMCA and there try to meet people and share small talk. At least that's something instead of just the 4 walls of my home. I even began online courses but found out really fast I can only handle 3 classes, not the 5 I started out with. So this 2 year degree will most likely be earned in 4 or 5 years! Just about in time for retirement-ha!
Well, this discussion certainly hit a nerve with me! Thank goodness that here there is genuine and immediate understanding of each others difficulties; that is some consolation.
a soft breeze, low humidity, and gentle hugs to all,
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