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Date ideas?
seireiofhope posted:
hey guys, I know it's been awhile since I have been on and posted, so I am going to catch you up before I ask my question.
My boyfriend and I moved in together 2 months ago...and my Fibro got really bad. I haven't been able to work for 2 months and 2 weeks to the day, I can hardly get out of the house and I have enough trouble keeping myself and our house moderately clean that I don't often have the energy to go out on dates. I am hopefully going out for the first time (other than to the grocery store or the doctor's office) next weekend and I will be in a wheelchair...another blow to my self esteem. I am still kind of grieving and accepting this new change in my life, but I want to still be able to have dates with my boyfriend. We watch movies and play World of Warcraft together...but no sex life and no date dates. So, I was wondering if you guys had any ideas on low impact date ideas that him and I could try? I live in a big city now, so there is lots to do...I am just not sure what I should and shouldn't try.
P.S. I have really, really bad fatigue and moderate pain everyday, with fluctuations, of course.

Thank you guys, the support and ideas mean a lot
(((((((((gentle hugs))))))))))
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Seireiofhope,

What changed for you when you moved in together in terms of how you spend your days?

Either way, I hope that others here will have some ideas for you. Since the pain is only moderate and you'll have the wheelchair so you can rest when you need to, there may be some good options available to you. I hope that others here will share some ideas to get you thinking. :-)
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell
Kinkatia responded:
You're in a city! There should be things like art galleries and museums and symphonies and plays to see! And zoos! And parks! Picnics in a park on a day that's not too hot might be good. Explore interesting cafes and restaurants, or go out for ice cream. Little things that won't require much of you are a good start. Maybe bowling, if you're up to it? Oh! Find out if there are free or low-cost classes on anything you guys are interested in, and do that! Like, um, cooking or crafting of some sort. Anything you can do together is a good idea, in my book.

Something that's good in the winter, I've found, is ice skating. It's fun, low impact, provided you've got the reflexes to grab onto the rail or wall around the ice rink when you start to fall, and you can call it quits when you've used up your energy and sit back and goad your boyfriend into doing silly things, or just go and get hot cocoa. And the exercise helps with fatigue, which is nice.

Sometimes you've just gotta do something you'll pay for later in order to have some fun. As long as it's well-timed, with enough rest days before and after, you can do just about anything you want. Just be sure to listen to your body, know your limits, and take it slow. Don't be afraid of going out and doing stuff. Try new things! The more you do, provided you pace yourself according to your needs, the more you'll be able to do.

I recently started focusing on walking more, and was able to spend an evening running around a carnival with my boyfriend. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to do that! Yes, I'm still wiped out two days later, but still, I did it!

I hope you find something fun to do together!
xperky responded:
If you are very fatigued, I'd start slow. Perhaps a nice dinner out would be a successful start. Not a lot of walking, noise, moving, etc to tire you.

Once you know what you can do, you can add more activity to the mix, a little at a time.

It's too bad you are flaring right when you moved in together! Perhaps the stress of moving has caused the flare? In any case, I hope you will be feeling better in the near future.

Have a wonderful date! Remember to be loving and try to leave your FM behind while on your date.

(((hugs back to you)))
Life is wonderful when lived with love and compassion, Margaret

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