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about that spoon theory
1wareaglefan posted:
I know that a lot of people use the spoon theory to explain what it's like to live with fibro. And it certainly sums it up for me. But I'm just imagining that if I were to give it to my husband to read, his reaction would be "that's lupus, you have fibromyalgia. It's not the same thing. Doctors don't even have a test for fibro."

I've learned that I can't even discuss my condition with him. In fact the other day he made some remark about his concern that I seem to have increasing weakness in my legs, because of the difficulty I have when getting up. I said, yes I do, and it hurts. So I gave him my "Fibromyalgia for Dummies" book, turned to the page of symptoms to read. I asked him to just please read about it, so he would understand what I go through.

The next thing I know, he puts the book back on the bed, opened to the chapter on "losing weight and exercise." Ok, that says to me he wants to "fix me," but is not interested in learning about what the physical reasons are behind why I feel the way I do and about my limitations.

So basically I feel that I have to just deal with it and can't even discuss with my husband of 38 years what I'm going through. Does anybody feel as frustrated as I do about all this?

Sorry about the rant.....I just couldn't help it! Yes, I realize there was a post already about this....sorry again!
FibroMitz responded:
I have one question, What is the spoon theory?
Mitzi in Idaho-in the darkover here..... ;o)
KatmanduLou responded:
Just a link to the "But You Don't Look Sick" site, and the Spoon Theory article:

FibroMitz replied to KatmanduLou's response:
Awesome, thanx Katmandulou! I'll write back as soon as I read up on this "spooning" business. I was thinking of a whole different "spooning". Gutter Brain! LOL!
(((Soft Hugs))) -Mitzi-
Anon_228381 responded:
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that. I have been there and it's been very painful. I usually get "it's in your head",esp.after a neuro told me my ability to exercise and go back to work was based on my character. I found an article on I thin on About. Com on fm and cfs that explains activities thresholds and how understanding that is different from exercise. I found it very empowering and more success when I was able to do something like a load of laundry, make dinner or unload the dishwasher . I left the spoon theory on the desk in a rush not for him to read. His reaction floored me but in a good way for a change . Things took a slow turn when I started educating myself for myself and not to make him understand. This message is a big enough head trip We don't need others to make it worse. I know how painful it is for the 1 you love the most to not understand. we shouldn't have to but I found my support and people who understood until he was able to the respectful and open to new information. I wish this for you as soon as possible. the proud of yourself for everything you do everyday and don't let anyone take that from you. again easier said than done that's what I had to do and things are starting to change for the better. I wish you peace.

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