Every book I've read and website I've visited has stressed the importance of having a primary physician to help coordinate fibromyalgia care and to check out new symptoms to be sure they're not from some other cause.
I haven't had a primary physician since I was fifteen and my pediatrician couldn't see me anymore. I've been to every doctor and nurse practitioner in the area surrounding my home, and none have been comfortable or helpful, even before the fibro hit me like a runaway semi. And now I'm back at school, I don't have the time or the energy to go anywhere but the campus health center. I thought it'd be alright, but my first appointment there today was a disaster.
The nurse practitioner who works at the health center is not a very friendly person. She's nice, but in a way that makes you feel like she's looking down on you, and I can't stand that. I had a list of things I wanted to talk about, and had been getting even more anxious as I waited twenty minutes past my appointment time to see her. Then I felt like she was rushing me through everything, and it made me uncomfortable. That's the reason I didn't stay with the rheumatologist who diagnosed me; she was always too busy, always rushing me.
Anyway, it was decided that we'd have my iron, Vitamin D and B12 levels checked, and they could draw the blood while I was there. Except she let the student who was with her do it, and that woman has absolutely no idea how to get blood out of someone with hard-to-find veins like mine. I was stabbed with that needle at least seven times, six of which were failures at getting the vein in my arm. She finally got one in my hand, but could only get enough blood for the iron test. I'm pretty convinced this is because she had that elastic band tied around my wrist so tightly that it was cutting off my circulation. And now I've got a couple of painful bruises and pain keeps shooting up my arm from my hand. It's so bad I'm in tears.
They want me to come back later this week for the other blood tests.
I am not comfortable with this nurse practitioner. But there isn't anyone else near enough to campus for me to go see while I'm fighting fatigue, an 18 credit course load and a senior thesis. I have no idea how I'm going to manage. I don't even know what I'm doing here, when I clearly need to get my symptoms under control before attempting to finish school.
I feel like things would be easier if I could just find a doctor who didn't make me feel lousy and actually took the time to listen to me and help me find solutions. I've been six years without a doctor I was comfortable with, but at this rate, I'm worried I'll never find one.