Fibromyalgia Community

have been dealing with fm since 2005. i have been diagnosed with this without anyblood work being done to check and see if it could be something else. i dont understand...and now they want to send me to a pain management doctor and im kinda weary about that. me and my boyfriend recently broke up because he just doesnt understand what im going through. he thinks im being whiny and lazy...i have never been depressed but the lack of support from my doctors and boyfriend is really starting to make me feel down. the one thing that keeps me going is my wonderful four year old little boy named Trenton. he is my world and i push myself every day for his sake.

hey i have been dealing with fm every since 2005. the doctors have always said it was fm without even doing additional testing to see if it may be something else. with that being said my boyfriend does not support my condition at all. he says im just whiny and lazy. ive never been a depressed person but with all im dealing with is really making me feel down. all the medicines ive been put on does not help and they want to refer me to a pain management doctor. im kinda scared to do that, but only as a last resort. the one thing that keeps me going is my four year old son named Trenton. he is my reason for living.

As you are I am in the same situation,3yr old daughter is it for me..Im a sinlge mother w/o an income ..living with my father who is retired..goin thru a divorce for 2 yrs now..After my x nd I separated becoz of the nasty things he would say about me due to my condition which to him was just tired nd lazy. My high school sweet heart called. I thought he was a God sent.Coz I thought he understood. Same story there too. Called me lazy... you sleep to much..and the thing of it is i dont sleep enough!.etc.Expected me to keep his house plus mine.He worked nd came home nd drank nd left me to deal with my daudghter(which is fine..she is mine) nd his daughter ..who is not fine 14 yrs old..No thank you..on days I could barely function to take care of my own daughter..I also have a back problem from doin a mans job for 14 yrs..I used to be so bubbly nd happy go lucky and my job was hard but I could do it and I am a woman .I was so proud to out do the men I worked with.And now I hide from people coz my husband nd friend after that had run me down so bad I feel worthless to all.I suffer from depression constantly.And I am soooo sick of it!!! I dont want pity..I just want people to understand.. !!. Does anybody ever think they will?Or will we end up crippled AND alone.

Hello I have a total understanding of what you are saying my spouse thinks its all in my head. About two years ago I noticed that I couldn't sleep, was anxious all the time, the cold was intolerable, my body ached so bad that I just wanted to sleep. Then I started to think that I was depressed but that wasn't it even though the pain took a mental toll on me. I am a mom who works, never misses a school function, drive my kids around all day, go to school, and I do volunteer work when I can. My family was so used to me doing everything so I started to make everyone help out. Or I left the house unclean for weeks, eventually it was cleaned from top to bottom. It has also affected my sexual life as well because I hurt and I don't want to be sore the next day not being able to jump out of bed. Thanks for your input I hope your hearing goes okay. Try to keep your head up and remember if no one understands you know your body and how you feel. When you take care of you and learn how to deal with Fibro it gets better. I just adjust my life so that I can continue to be active unitl I am not able. Good night. Gotta try to rest.

omg i can't believe i went on webmd & immediately found what you wrote. i'm sitting here bawling because i hurt so bad. if have osteoarthritis from my neck to my toes, am tired 24/7 regardless of how much sleep i get and am sick & tired of the whole thing. i asked my one doctor about fibro & she just said it's hard to diagnose. i asked another doctor about cfs & he said highly unlikely & that's an old condition that they don't really diagnose anymore. this doctor is the one that basically said everything but called me a liar when i went to see for arthritis. and no, my spouse doesn't get it either. i've kinda learned to just bite my lip & not say anything because he rolls his eyes & says i'm whining & starts saying how he has hurts too but somebody has to make the money. he does have problems with his shoulder & i'm not saying that it doesn't bother him too but he does always seem to throw it in my face at times that he's the only one out there making any money & "bucking it up". it's all i can do just to make the bed, dishes, feed the dogs & laundry some days. at times, not even that. i haven't worked for 5 yrs & i have an ssdi case pending after filing 2 yrs ago and am currently waiting to get a hearing date after being denied 1 yr ago. it agrivates me that there are people (and i know some personally) that have gotten ssdi for things that aren't even wrong with them because they deliberately failed any tests & are just plain lazy. then the people who really need have to fight tooth and nail just to try to get help. i often wish i were younger where i didn't have to be in pain every single day of my life & not have so much to worry about. i know exactly what you are saying because i'm in the same boat. your post was there just when i needed it. thank you...

am going through the same thing as you. i had been suffering with this for more than two years, going to doctors and complaining. no one believed in me and kept sending me to a psychiatrist thinking i was making it up. my husband is not helpful at all and my teen age kids treat me as lazy, i don't want to work, i do not clean and that i am only lying in bed instead of cleaning or cooking or even working. i had been in and out of work, on leave of absence until the stress at work made it work and i could not handle it anymore. my blood pressure went high, palpitations, anxiety, depression and so on. i practically diagnosed myself, but thanks to a friend i found a good doctor, who tested me for everything and discarded everything else and finally diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, which i knew i had. i am applying now for ssdi and next week is my evaluation. hopefully it goes well, but as everyone else, i am pretty sure they will give me a hard time. same symptoms: fatigue,depression, anxiety, lack of sleep, migraines, painful menstruation pains, irritable bowel syndrome, high blood pressure, cholesterol, fatty liver, allergies, fibro fog, joint pain, skin pain, burning sensation, numbness, tinnitus, cravings for junk food, weight gain, bulging discs. i am going trough acupuncture, massage, electrical stimulation, chiropractic, doctors visits almost every day including psychologist, psychiatrist, neurologist. there was a time when i was feeling a little better and even got into the gym and practice aquaerobics and swimming which is very relaxing, sauna. i tried yoga but was to painful and sometimes even with pain i practice bowling and scuba diving, used to go to church and volunteer in whatever i could. right now i am on a hibernating stage, locked in my room, stress with so many paperwork, calls and bills, without support. all i can tell you is not to give up and try your best. i get up and walk my dogs and try to walk from here to the supermarket to exercise and house cleaning and cooking when i feel capable. the rest can wait, the world is not going to end if you can't cook or clean for your family. take your medications, do not miss your appointments and try to find something of interest. i do puzzles and chat with friends in facebook and once in a while have a date with myself at the mall, the movies or at my favorite restaurant. I leave everything in God's hands. wish you good luck and here i am if you need someone to get in touch with.
sincerely,
elizabeth

Well, here I am. Like you, in (probably the same) "Fog"; barely able to use my fingers to type this post, or note. Today is Saturday, August 11, 2012. I've made it to 5:30 pm. I've been up and walking today. Quite an accomplishment for me. I've declined a LOT these last few weeks, despite all of the help I've had from my Doctors. Fortunately, I do have a wonderful wife who (well, most of the time) understands what I am going through. I also have type 2 diabetes that I try desperately to hide from her, but sometimes she finds out. The diabetes has caused the dreaded peripheral neuropathy which in itself causes severe pain throughout my body and face. She was a Kindergarten teacher for 17 years, and had to quit do to mental stress. So I truly know she understands most of the stress part, and how it alone can keep you from doing 80% of what you did only a year before. However, she doesn't know why I suddenly get up, run outside in the rain, then pass out. Simply put, I have full-blown "Panic Attacks". This, she does NOT understand at all. Oh yes, my Vit. D was only "Trace" when it was 1st checked in 2005. Now I take 1,000 mg. twice daily, and Prescribed 50,000 units twice monthly. I'm almost to normal! I have to conclude this right now. I hope this hasn't bored everyone to death. Because I intend to try and finish my part about FM when I get home tonight. Time 4 more Ativan, Oxycontin, Tizanadine & Adderral. Talk at you later. -Danny

Hello everyone,

I just want to say that spouses that don't understand is not a strictly male thing. I watched my mother try to come to grips with my fathers MS, and now I watch my wife trying to figure out what to do with me and my FMS.

I am the main income for my family, and my wife's parents rely on us for a place to stay too, so disability is not really an option for me, whether I want and need to or not.

My father has always said that the only pain that is real to someone is their own.

You can never expect anyone to understand what you are going through. If they do, it is a plus, but you can not expect it. The best you can hope for is someone that is patient and that tries to help.

I speak very little to my family, my prior friends, or really anyone else. I do not recommend it. Being a hermit reduces the stress a great deal, but it is also very lonely.

I am 44 now, and have had FMS for 16 years. The only thing I can say for certain is that I keep getting worse and no medications seem to help.

This situation is not going to get any better, so I try o do things when I can. I would agree with earlier posts about suicide and it not being the answer, but I understand the feeling. But by doing so, you let the condition win. I'm just stubborn enough to never let that happen.

I have no words or help or wisdom other than what I have offered, save to no keep up and things will work out in some way. Just keep an open mind that the resolution will most likely not be what you planned, but might still be good.

Luck.

Hi. I don't get on here very often, but I am amazed at the number of responses created by your post about loved ones not understanding fm. My husband is very good about understanding everything, except the lack of sex! The house can be dirty, I quit my full time job, I can't walk do to feet problems so I can't travel with him anymore and many other other things I can't do, but sex is the real breaking point. How can you have a sex drive when you feel like your body is on fire, moving an inch feels like walking 10 miles and your mind isn't even sure about what part of your anatomy that involves.
The best way I deal with my husband on most everything is with humor. I get him to laugh with me. I mean we fm sufferers are in such bad shape that you have to laugh so that you don't cry. Believe me I do cry but you know the saying about "crying alone". I know there are a lot of very serious posts on here and I don't mean to make light of them. I have also attempted suicide and think of it daily. The best thing I ever did regarding that was read a minibook on the internet on how to commit suicide and it scared the crap out of me. An awful lot of suicides are NOT successful and you are left off worse that you were before. So if anyone is really considering that "option" be sure to consider that you may fail and things will really be bad. My daughters who are 28 and 32 now have never really forgiven me for my suicide attempt. They were 12 and 16 at the time) They don't "trust" me with their love. So what I have learned is to try to get your loved ones to know you hurt but you are trying to be lighthearted for their sakes.

I am so sorry to hear you have two daughters who no longer trust you, on top of having FMS.

I am a nurse, I cannot tell you how many failed suicide attempts I have taken care of over the years. Gunshots that took jaws off, folks who drank Drano and survived. Please do not ever consider that an option!!!

As you have discovered, family members are often hurt the worst. I have felt like killing myself, but did not because I am from a rather large family, and could not find a time that would not really hurt someone I loved, due to birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I had to wait almost a year and then found I no longer wished to be dead. I really think it is a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem. Of course, I still have pain, but I can deal with it better now.

Take care, Annette

dear precious beloved one 'battleforlife'...my not-so-tender heart broke for you as i cried reading your reply. Honestly, i am not sure how to put into words what my spirit so wants to convey! firstly, your emotional (&spiritual) anguish is heart-wrenching (may i pray for & with you?) Back in the day when doc's vocabulary did not include the term fibromyalgia needless to say few to none were familiar with the symptoms - i was misdiagnoised, misunderstood, mistreated, misled blah blah blah. The doctors were freely writing me monthly prescriptions for narcotic pain medication until i had no explaination for the incredible pain i was constantly in (i was bartending at the time) With no relief in sigh, i was forced to self medicate, you guessed it! it got really ugly really fast that was about ten-ish years ago and by the grace of God i am here with my two year old granddaughter! listen, if you would send me an e-mail with your e-address i believe we could be a blessing one to another, if no, i understand altho, if i may be so bold as to say that i believe in a Healer, THE Healer, the Lover of our soul Jesus never said this life would be easy, as a matter of fact He mentioned something like-in this world you will have trials, or troubles, He followed that statement with words similar to But be not afraid I have over come the world and then He promises-to never leave you to never forsake you, and to be with you to the end of the age. And i personally, cannot explain why some are hit harder than others while there are those who seem to suffer less..? I have this to say about that...God bless you and keep you may He cause His face to shine upon you and give you peace and joy and all the fruit of the Spirit...hotgrammyjulie@ hotmail.com

In 2004 I had my last child Dr made app for me to go to the hospital 6 weeks after to get my tubes tied. God must have told me 15 times not to go through it, but I listened to my husband n said it was just because I was nervous. After surgery I knew something was wrong I was bleeding way to much here he nicked my uterus n was hemorgaging he had to give me a hysterectomy while he was doing that the put a stitch in my urter (tube that goes from Kidney to bladder) needless to say I had catheter also catheter in kidney. Two weeks in hospital 7 surgeries some minor others not so minor. Well now I have fm,cf,chronic pain, menopause ( my OBGYN said i have the worst numbers he ever saw I have no hormones) I have ibs,nauseous almost every day,restless leg,migraines,Arthrities,bursitis,there's more but I'm sure all of u know what I'm going through no even saying about the depression. One thing I have is a wonderful husband although he does not understand he is there in every way he goes shopping if I can't do clothes he does them dishes whatever needs done after working 14 hour days. Although he knows I'm not the person I used to be and he now accepts that there r times where he just does not get why this happened to someone who was super active to not wanting to do anything. We live with it m yes it is so hard I sit n cry sometimes but I pray that one day people will listen to us m realize its not in our heads. Don't u wish u could give your problems to your Dr for a week let him live your life and then see what his opinion would be the ssd people for that matter to. Do u think they would take us seriously after they experienced it? Just thought I would put my story in there it helps to tell people who know what u r talking about thanks for sharing your stories it's nice to know u r not alone

I to know people who have played the system..I busted my ass doin a mans job for 14 yrs, And I did it very well..i might add.Most of my daily work is just taking care of my daughter, some days i might get a load of laundry done..nd if I"m lucky I might make a really good dinner.not that we dont eat..I mean a meal!. And I constantly am aggrivated at the people who think I should stop nappin..I Dont like to wish nothing on anyone,but I have not had an 8 hr sleep in over 5.5 years.And I have always been one who need 10 hrs for proper function.Some say well i only get 5 a night well, good for you.Im lucky to get that but MY BODY REQUIRES MORE.Why is so hard for people to get it..EVERYONE IS DIFFERNT!!!.Thanks for listening again! Wish you luck wit your ssd.

God Bless you nd your husband!.. YOUR STORY HAS MADE ME CRY..AS IF I DONT DO THAT ENOUGH!.

HAVE YOU BEEN INSIDE MY HEAD?? THAT IS EXCATLY HOW I AM. I USED TO WORK AT A RESTRUANT, MANAGE A HOUSEFULL OF 3 TEENAGE SONS, THIER FRIENDS, A CAT, A WONDERFULL HARD WORKING HUSBAND, HOUSE WORK, GED NIGHT CLASSES, AND YARD WORK. AND I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. BUT IN 2006 I WAS TOLD BY MY DOCTOR, THAT I HAVE FIBRO. IT WAS LIKE A EXPLOSION IN MY HEAD. I THOUGHT, SO THAT'S WHY I FEEL LIKE GARBAGE RAN OVER!!! I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT ALL THEN AND IT SEEMS TO GROW ONLY MORE FOGGY. I AM TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE TO EVEN OPEN THE CURTAINS TO A BEAUTIFUL DAY. I JUST SIT THERE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW THINKING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I WOULD LOVE TO DO. THEN I GET UP FOR TWO MINUTES AND IT'S LIKE, OHH,THAT WAS A BAD IDEA. I AM GRATEFULL FOR RAINY DAYS. MY BACK AND SHOULDERS ALWAYS HURT. IT'S LIKE MY BODY BEATS EVERY NIGHT. THE "BRUSIES" ARE ALL OVER. VERYING FROM DAY TO DAY. MY HUSBAND HAS WAY MORE ENERGY THAN I COULD THINK OF. HE'S 62 AND I'M 44!!!!!
DRIVES ME CRAZY. PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND, HECK, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I HAVE 2 ARMS AND 2 LEGS. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE A CRIPPLE??!!! I NEVER HAD ANYBODY TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS. MY HUSBAND IS THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD, BUT I THINK HE GETS TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT IT. I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A JOB, AND I ALWAYS COUNTED ON ME, MYSELF AND I ONLY. AM I CRAZY OR DOES THIS FIBRO GET WORSE??? MY BRAIN IS DEAD HALF THE TIME. I SOMETIMES DON'T REMEMBER TO START THE DRYER OR TO TAKE A SHOWER. I FORGET THINGS I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A PLACE TO VENT!!!