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UNsupportive family
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misfits69 posted:
I was diagnosed with Fibro I'd say about 6 months prior to getting into an automobile accident that Im lucky to have walked away from ,but was lefft with neck, back and other injuries that made it not possible for me to continue working..I was forced to move back in with my parents...I hated the thought..I was depressed by the thought... I knew what I was facing...AND I was right...My dad calls me lazy , i dont know why Im the only one out of 4 kids that has worked her whole life up until my accident (which was not my fault either) ..he says they have people in worse conditions than you...drives me up the wall, bc since my accident Ive tried to go back to work 5 times..fired each time ..unable to meet their needs..Im always sick or my neck or back gets stuck , in one way or another and I have to drive straight from work to the Dr...complains that I take meds??? I got foodstamps so they wouldnt have to buy me and my sons food, I try to stay on a healthy Fibro diet ,It really does help ALOT.... They use my foodstamps bc they need food for the house and buy foods I cant eat , either bc of my Fibro, my migraines or bc of the fact I have no gallbladder and they like GREASE... We live in Louisiana and they love a ROUX ..flour and oil...GREASE...They absolutely do not care if I have anything to eat at all... i can lay In my room for 4 days and they wouldnt even notice if I ever came out unless it was the 12th..when my card gets refilled....and Yes my mother has tried to cry and moan and complain on the first when I get my lil bitty child support check ..just incase I might give her some , like I used to.. while my other 2 GROWN also sisters with nothing at all wrong with them , contribute nothing sit around and somehow Get financial help from my parents??? Does anyone but me see anything wrong with this picture?? And if so, whats it called??lol because they are making me lose my mind over here.. and my doctors all say ..I need to get out of this house in order to get better....But I dont know How Im supposed to get out>>.any suggetions??
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Kinkatia responded:
I'm so sorry to hear you're in such an unsupportive place right now.

The first thing I would advise you to do is to set firm boundaries with your family and enforce them. Don't let them use your food stamps, don't give your family any money, and look after yourself and your son. If they get upset about this, tell them that, since they seem to think you ought to be working, you've got to tend to your needs in order to get to a place where you can work. No matter how hard they make it for you, be firm about these boundaries. Not only will you be able to feel a little better, but you'll be setting a good example for your son.

Second, see if you can find a counselor to talk to? That could really help you deal with your situation, empower you to take steps to improve or remove yourself from the situation, and all around be helpful.

And if you want to work again, there might be ways. I don't know the extent of your condition, but you are disabled, and if you know what you can do and seek a job that won't be too much, most employers are willing to work with you to get you the accommodations you'll need. Don't try to do something full time, at first, maybe look for someplace that'll give you flexible hours, etc. Evaluate your limits and work with them.

I hope you can figure something out. Remember to be firm about your needs and your limitations, even when your family belittles or doesn't believe them. *gentle hugs*
 
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dollbug responded:
Hello misfits and welcome....sorry that you are dealing with so much....stress is NOT good for us FMers....MiMi in NC...I hope that you have an attorney....who should be doing something about your accident and the condition you have been left with....IF you do NOT have an attorney....then perhaps you need to try to find one...
especially if you are now in this condition due to the auto accident....especially IF you are not able to work...

You need to "take care of yourself and your son"....and it is LEFT UP TO YOU to do this....whatever it takes...
It is sad when relatives take advantage of this kind of situation....but it will continue IF YOU ALLOW IT...

I do hope that you have asked your doctor to check your Vitamin D level....if not...please do this...as low Vitamin D can cause additional pain for a lot of people these days....low Vitamin D can also affect other illnesses as well....

Be sure and check out the info under "tips" and "resources" that you can find to the right of this page...I am sure that you will find some good "tools and tips" that perhaps you have not thought of...

There are no quick fixes for dealing with the wrath of the dragon, aka FM....but I am sure that you will find something that will help you cope better...and you must also remember that NO ONE understands FM....especially when most of us DO NOT LOOK SICK...
so I no longer even expect people to understand....it is a hopeless case....

Take care and good luck....


MiMi
IN GOD WE TRUST....MAY GOD BLESS AND GUIDE AMERICA....

My personal exchanges are Vitamin D and Pain and Wrath of the Dragon....if you care to visit..
 
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katmandulou responded:
Welcome to our FMily. I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through.

Kinkatia and MiMi are right - boundaries. Hang onto whatever you get thru food stamps or child support. How old is your son? Can he be helpful as an advocate for you?

I'm sure you're on meds for the FM. Talk to your doc about everything, or ask is he/she could refer you to a counsellor.

As for the word for the way your parents support your sisters - favoritism! I hate to say it, but there are lots of families out there struggling with the same thing. The oldest of my brothers scammed money from my parents, and when Dad has asked for repayment, Bro tells him, "take it out of my inheritance." They have loaned money to my other 2 brothers and they are paying it back. As for me, I ask for nothing and get the occasional surprise.

Work-wise, what are you able to do? Maybe some re-training could help you get a part-time job in an office - or working from home.

I hope we're helpful, and I hope things work out for you. Have the best day you possibly can,
Lou
 
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An_241298 responded:
You say child support and food stamps. Where is seeking disability or ( don't feel labeled) but why at this point haven't you seeked out welfare for housing no matter how small to get you out of your living conditions?

You need a lawyer for the accident if it wasn't your fault and your now even more disabled then just fibro.

As for the food stamps, not to be blunt, but why would you sign them over? You kinda indicate your a single parent? Your duty is to protect yourself first so you can protect your child!!!!

If you know of a diet that helps fibro please post what's helped you.

I suggest you go back to the social services that gave you the food stamps and tell them things have changed how do I get help?

I'd rather be in a one rm shelter then deal with the nonsense you've discribed.

Time to pull yourself together get mad and handle your own business.

Sounds rough but you need to hear it. Get tough and set boundaries! I'm sure your family wants you to contribute to the household but fried foods? No way. Go to the store and buy healthy basics. They can eat it or leave it for you. You couldn't be getting that much these days anyway.

Help yourself, help yourself. You sound very depressed in a time of need. Lots of info on webmd to explain your condition. Keep your head up during this battle of wills, social services and I'll health.


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