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Felling so alone
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An_245212 posted:
As a mother of five children, a wife, and a grandmother to two amazing twin granddaughters. I have never felt so alone. I was officially diagnosed 1 year ago with advanced arthritis and fibromyaliga. The doctor feels after talking with me I have had fibromyligia since I was a child. When I was 2 I was burnt all over my body by hot water from one of those wonderful hot water vaporizers. Ok this shows my age I'm 50yrs old. After that accident my family always said I was a princess and the pea, because all I ever did was complain about how I always hurt. I mean even when I went to bed I couldn't sleep if the sheets were wrinkled. So I learned to keep my mouth quiet about my pain. Until I couldn't stand the pain any longer. So last year I went to a doctor, and here I am today. The reason why I feel so alone is that I finally tried to talk to my husband about what was going on with me. I needed to have him understand why I wasn't always up to doing the things for him I used to do. I just wanted some compassion. I got a speech about being unmotivated and lazy. I needed to join a gym!! So needless to say I know I have no one to talk to. And once again I will have to stop talking about it at home. Is this how I have to live the rest of my life? Taking a ton of meds, and having to put on my best fake smile. While being an up beat mom, grandma and loving wife. This should be interesting. I really hope I can pull this off.
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Teelady1 responded:
I'm so sorry you feel alone. Plenty of support and understanding here! You are not alone!

Sounds like you have a good Dr who understands. Keep talking to your Dr about how your feel and your pain. Tell your Dr what's working and not working with your meds. It may take a while to find the combination or meds or what type of treatment works best for you.

Welcome to this group!
 
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dollbug responded:
Hello and welcome....MiMi in NC....I am so sorry about how much you have tried to deal with for such a long time....and it is sad that you feel so alone....you are not alone....as we are all right here with you....most of us know exactly what you are dealing with...living with the wrath of the dragon is not an easy thing to do...

I do hope that you will ask your doctor to check your Vitamin D level....which is so important for a lot of people these days....low Vitamin D can cause additional pain for some people and it can also affect other illnesses as well...

I would also encourage you to be sure and check out the info under "tips" and "resources" that you will find to the right of this page...I am sure you will find things that you have not thought of trying...it does take a trial and error process to find the right combination of "tools" that will help you cope better...so do not give up...but try to allow at least 6-8 weeks of whatever you decide to try before making up your mind as to whether or not it is working...

A lot of people do not understand FM...and just how it can affect our lives...I do hope you will post often though...and let us know how things are going for you...we have a great group of FMers here...and I am sure you will feel right at home...

Learning how to pace, pace and pace even more is also important....getting enough sleep is also a must...drinking plenty of water and watching what we eat is also helpful....I have learned how to "control my FM pain" by taking vitamins and supplements and doing other things as well...so there is hope....you just have to figure out what will help you cope better....we are all different and what helps one person may or may not help you....only you will know when you have found what you need...

Take care and good luck...


MiMi
IN GOD WE TRUST....MAY GOD BLESS AND GUIDE AMERICA....

My personal exchanges are Vitamin D and Pain and Wrath of the Dragon....if you care to visit..
 
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1wareaglefan responded:
I am so sorry to hear about what you've been through. I'm afraid to say I have one of those husbands. After a few of those kind of "discussions," I decided it was better for me to not mention fibro. Of course sometimes it still leaks out, then I may regret having said anything.

I think that's one of the loneliest places to be. Here you are married to the same person forever, you love each other, but you can't even talk about the illness that totally wreaks havoc to a life!

All I can say is you've found support now. That's why I love my support groups! I need the understanding and being able to talk with people who don't think I'm crazy.

Hugs, Elizabeth
 
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Pandorica responded:
Oh my gosh- me too I always said I'm the princess and the p. Everything bothered me and my friends always acted llike I was such a complainer and high maintness. Smells like gasoline or that outdoor cooking fliud make me instantly sick. I always have to cut the tags out of everything and well you know the rest. Im sorry hes not understanding. Maybe you could try again with your husband. I had a similar problem with my brother. I expressed how I hurt and how things made me hurt more. I got him to read up on fibromyalgia and this did help. I'm so alone too. I'm an single parent and only parent of a 6 year old. I run my own sewing business from home. Due to my pain, anxiety and my degenerative spine issues I don't go out. I have not even been on a dare in over 2 years. I can't stand fr more then 20 minuets because of my 8 swollen disc problems. This illness is so isolating because people can't see the pain were in and the just can't understand. Have you old your children? How did they react? If you can get one of them to understand maybe they can help your husband to see how you suffer. It sucks having this and we justice to try to enjoy the good days we have and first and formost take care of yourself. Lauren
 
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xperky responded:
Perhaps your husband would be willing to read a book about FM, or go to one of your doctor appointments and ask your doctor specific questions.

Please try to communicate with him again. It is not fair for you to cope all by yourself.

I would not want to cause any upsets in your household, but I hate to think of you coping all by yourself.

Hugs to you.
With Compassion,
Margaret
 
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Rosalenna replied to Pandorica's response:
I just want to thank you and everyone else for the support. Next time I'll make sure to not mess up and post without using my name. Thank you


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