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    Is there anything you don't hate about having Fibromyalgia? Might it be a blessing in disguise?
    Ohanamama posted:
    I was following a thread that asked "what is your biggest pet-peeve about FM". Near the bottom of a 2-year response, someone posed the reverse question, and I thought it would be interesting to see the kind of feedback that idea gets. You see, personally, I find having Fibro to be one of the greatest growing experiences of my life! Since my diagnosis, I have slowed down, learned more about myself and have finally learned to say NO! I never much liked who I was in my 20's and 30's -- aggressive, hungry and an almost mean personality. Now, I laugh, relax and really enjoy what I can of my life. If it weren't for FM, I could never say that about myself. I've had all the same struggles as you--rude doctors, years for a diagnosis, misdiagnosis, poor pain management--but now I have great docs and great care. I'm in as good a place (except for spousal relationship) as I can hope to be. Finally, I'm glad my daughter remembers the good spirited near bed-ridden me of today versus the high-powered, rarely present, cold, Type A Mom from her life as a toddler. How about you? Has this been a blessing in disguise?

    Take the Poll

    Is there anything you don't hate about having Fibromyalgia? Might it be a blessing in disguise?
    • Yes, But I never thought of that until now
    • Yes, I've felt this way for a while
    • No, are you crazy!
    View Poll Results
    katmandulou responded:
    I never thought about FM that way. I suppose it's a convenient excuse for not doing something, as in "I can't come over, I'm having a bad FM day." It's great excuse to sit and do nothing but knit and watch TV...
    angelswife responded:
    Yes---it has definitely been a blessing for me. I have always been a 24-7 workaholic, and the Fibro is teaching me not to be that way. It's a good thing, otherwise I would have burned myself out by the time I hit 50! Now I am forced to listen to myself when I get tired or don't feel well, because there is hell to pay if I cross that line. That's not to say I don't still at times, but at least I'm doing it less than I used to. Fibro is one of my biggest teachers.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Welcome Ohanamama! I always love this topic so thank you for starting it again.

    While you're waiting for responses here, check out this recent discussion on something similar:

    Good Things?

    I'm not sure that I'd say this has been a blessing in disguise for me but there are definitely some good things that have come out of it.
    We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell
    painfullyexhausted responded:
    Really ? You most be joking ! This has been the worst life changing event that has ever happened to my family. I have 4 children that require a "mother" not someone that says "no, no, not right now, I don't feel well, I'm sorry I can't". I don't have time to slow down. Maybe you don't have children at home or work on your feet all day at a high pace job. I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. What meds are you on because I think 99% of us would love to try them so we could feel the same way. Most people aren't as blessed as you so I'm sorry that this may seem a little abrassive but come on. My life goes on, I can't use the excuse that I'm too tired, I don't feel well, or what ever. I'm sure that there's a lot more FMrs that feel the way I do but won't step on your toes and say so. I do realize that this is an opinion based statement on your part but I feel that it's a real slap in the face. It's like saying cancer has blessed my life because I can sit in a hospital all day with tubes and IV's coming out of me and not deal with the fact that it's killing me. I'm glad you feel that this is the best thing that has ever happened to you, you must have been really miserable before. Good luck to you.
    Randm2220 responded:

    Focusing on the good things in life takes my mind off the fibro. I enjoy nature more. I take wonder in all that God has created. I am truly blessed with a wonderful DH. I too have slowed down and realized that there is more to life than working and running around trying to accomplish everything in a day that seems to be short.

    As for fibro being a blessing..... No. I would have to disagree with that statement. A learning experience, yes. But now that I have learned to slow down, I would like it to go away. I want to be able to ride in a car for more than an hour so I can go see my kids. I want to be able to remember why I walked into a room. I want to be able to return to a job that I loved. I want to wake up in the morning and be able to sit up in bed and not roll out of bed. I want to able to work in the yard or do other things I love with out a time restraint.

    I am glad you view it as a blessing in your life. It is not one in mine. It has taken too much from me.
    Ohanamama replied to Randm2220's response:
    Thanks to all of you who have replied so far. In summary, I do have one child (I developed auto-immune illnesses after her birth that caused me 3 miscarriages so was told to stop trying) and raised her alone because my husband would have nothing to do with me (or her) once I got sick, and fought mightily with depression because of it. And I had to retire at 42 from a very successful career (Director at a multi-national, $50 million company) that I still dream about and miss every day. And yes, I roll over, not sit-up, every morning after taking my first hand-full of meds for the day. So to compensate for all of the losses, I've stopped the old "wants" and replaced them with new. Now, I want to be awake and cheery when my daughter gets home from school. I want to read a book every month. I want to learn to sing. I want to go for a walk. I want to email or write a friend I used to visit. And I've learned to stop wanted what I know I can no longer have. I can't be Queen--so why want that. I don't use Fibro as an excuse for who I am, it's an explanation for why I can't be who I used to be. It's why the laundry is piled up. It's why I forgot to send a birthday card. It's why they know I love them, but don't show them they way I used to. It's the new ME! And I like the new me. What choice to I have? Love me, or be angry. I choose not to be angry.
    xperky replied to Ohanamama's response:
    It's healthy to "want what we have" even though we might wish we could "have what we want!"
    With Compassion,
    Randm2220 replied to Ohanamama's response:

    I am not angry for the most part. I still do get angry. I am not going to lie. I have come to terms with fibro and the things I cannot do. But that doesn't mean I count it as a blessing. I am very blessed in my life and I count them everyday. Fibro is just not on the list.
    booch007 responded:
    Good morning,

    I think one of life's lessons is that you are happy with the world you have. The "new" us is a big change for some and learning to love the new you is the greatest gift. It looks like you are there. I also am doing well with the changes I needed to make in my life. (just about everything has changed)

    I still struggle to not give up too much more, so at times I am disgusted and mad. Getting mad and not sad works better for me. (staying out of the dark places life can take you).

    Slowing down was also a good thing, I was stopped in my tracks. I was working 3 jobs and had no concept of saying "no, I can't do that"...always trying to do it all.

    So, life has gotten simpler, slower and my focus is clearer. I say I "stay small" keeping things to a distance, knowing we have so little control over most of life's issues. Also learning 99% of the time it is communication that is the root of issues.

    I also know in my heart, from being in medicine for what seems like forever, 35years now, Everbody is given something as a challenge in their lives.....very few are perfect in mind and body. So, if I had to take an issue, I am OK with this. I will not die from it (unless of my own hand) and it hasn't deformed me (though I used to wish people could see* they would understand me (don't need that anymore).

    Learning to dance with our dragon has been a path of growth and true internal fortitude. For that I say KUDDOS to ME!
    It has been a long time of fighting him and trying to understand the science behind this. All in time.

    The best answer to comfort here is "the right doctor(one who understands and supports you), the right med mix and supplements for your bodily assistance. Having your head right too is a blessing. My understanding of my body has helped so much to "2 steps forward , one back" in my life.

    The little things we didn't pay attention to, now are so valuable. I never saw the sunrises as I drove to work.....always thinking of what was waiting for, each one is studied on my way in to work. A precious gift to have gained.

    So, I can put a positive spin on the mess we are in.

    Thanks for the topic to return in a positive way! Nancy B
    FannieFarkle replied to booch007's response:
    One good thing about have a friend with fibro and along with it, fibro fog, is since neither of you no longer have a good memory, you can repeat your stories and discussions to each other over and over again because they'll still be "new" to you.
    FannieFarkle replied to FannieFarkle's response:
    Corrected comment:

    One good thing about having a friend with fibro and especially
    fibro fog is that since neither of you have a good memory anymmore, you can repeat your stories and discussions to each other over and over again because they'll still be "new" stories to both of you.
    Ohanamama replied to FannieFarkle's response:
    Thanks everyone! Did you here the story about friends with fibro fog? The thing is, you can tell stories over again because .......
    TDXSP08 replied to Ohanamama's response:
    I do not have fibro but between my diseases and my Med's i have no memory at all My Personal Care Aide can tell me something today and by Friday it will be "News" to me and he is always wondering is it the Med's or is it the disease and i tell him leave it alone i really don't want to know.

    If it's the Disease well that sucks but its part of it and people will just have to adjust.if it's my Med's thats to bad for people they will just have to repeat themselves because i am on great Med's my pain is controlled i never run out of breakthrough med's and my quality of life ,i am basically happy with and i am not willing to have my life come crashing down like a house of cards by messing with my meds trying to fix my memory it's just not worth it,at least to me.

    And All my Doctors know that by just a tiny movement in one of my med's will send my life cart wheeling out of control, because when my PCP left town here who was prescribing my pain med's and none of my other "doctors" would it took four months to find a Doctor 350 miles away who could not understand why they would not prescribe them and became my Doc but in those four months i went to the edge of "pulling the pin" at least 30 times due to the uncontrolled pain i told several of my close people i was going to be a martyr for all pain patients who where denied Medication from Doctors and they where not doctors that i had just started seeing these where doctors who i had been with for between 4 & 9 years and it was with their records that the Pain Specialist 350 miles away and an exam of me could not understand why they did not do it.

    anyway this has kinda turned into a rant sorry about that

    xperky replied to Ohanamama's response:
    Ha??? OH, I get it...LOL...
    With Compassion,

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