Fibromyalgia Community

Glad you found us!

Have you ever tried taking your husband to a doctor's appointment with you? Or, you could try printing out some FM info and asking him to read it. Better make it a brief outline for starters.

Also, it has long been determined that depression is a real illness and not from being weak-minded. Sorry your aunt has told you that. It sure doesn't help you feel better. She probably only tried to help you, in her mind.

A good orthopaedist can offer some valuable clues to illnesses. I found that out when mine ran tests for rheumatic illnesses after seeing him for chronic foot pain. I'm glad yours was listening to you and diagnosed you.

You can vent your feelings here any time and know that we get how you feel.

I know your pain all too well. I have eliminated 98% of my family from my life as they refuse to understand and kept dragging me down. In the year since I have done that my depression has been much better.

Having said that it isn't always possible to eliminate people from your life. Try having your hubby read The Spoon Theory as it is designed to help people understand chronic pain and fatigue.

Here is a link for you:

http://butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

Good morning Butterfly,

This is always so sad to read when I come to the boards. It may never happen that they(family) get it......I still have a hard time getting my body, some days I can do things and somedays I can't.

It confuses people watching you too.... The letter about you don't look sick is great. What worked for me was taking my husband with me on my hunt for help. I started trigger point injections and he watched the first few sessions. 30-60 injections were given by the neurologist I was seeing.

She was everywhere......IT THEN became real to him. He saw the spots heard me agree with the doctor as she examined and worked on me. Most of my injections are in the neck and they have been in the face (cheeks) as well. So when we were done...he just put his arms around me and told me how proud of me he was.

He became my champion...defended me to my boys who used to make fun of me. I don't know if this helps with an idea for you. But I wanted to share.

I have learned to forgive him for his forgetfulness of helping me at times. I am a determined woman and do so much more line crossing then I should....but when I ask for help at times I don't get it...and then ** I get mad. The human body was made to forget pain. If you have had children, you remember there was pain but really not the depth and charecter of what you went through. So in saying that....we all sense pain different and it is hard to understand someone else or grasp their suffering.

The letter with the "spoon theory" is great. As it is true, we only have so many spoons for the day, when they are gone....we must sit and rest or finish the day...nada, no more, have to stop. I have had to stop in a store...and couldn't return to the car without tremendous effort....(I ran out of spoons)

This is such a complex disorder that if you look under DR P for the discussions he has had.....might put a little light on this. I copy and paste him in to a file for future reference.

I also use a book called , FM and Chronic Myofascial Pain; a Suvival Manual; by Dr Devin Starlanyl. It is so helpful for the tools to fix myself and understand some of the issues that pop up. Maybe you can use it. I got it on Amazon.com.
They have a companion book too that is for you to bring to physicians, dentists and family....explaining the issues at hand.

But the survival manual is my constant companion...as I get a problem I check there and use the tricks and tools to help myself.

Speaking of tools...in resources to the right, look under Member Toolbox to hear from the fmily of how they help themselves through.

Be validated by your spouse is a biggy though. I really needed support in the beginning. But you always have us...open 24/7 we are. Come here, we will hold you for a bit. I can only hope your husband has a light bulb moment. Check out the book...

Best of luck, NancyB