Relying on others with your fibro disability
An_247077 posted:
All of us fibro peeps have had those times. Myself, they've never left. Feel blessed that you have family to rely on. My spouse has no desire to understand or even try to help emotionally or physically, but he does provide a roof over my head. He will spend all kinds of time with our new pup, a project he is interested in or tv but dare I ask him for a leg rug or even a shoulder to cry on, forget it. As for the rest of my family I get, "get over it", we're all getting older. Funny how the tables turn when the lifelong caregiver and give no more, but ask or even hope for some help in return, forget it. Moved out of state just to get a clear mind and trying to start over but it's no different. I tried coming off all meds to cleanse my body and start anew but think I will go back to them. It is easier to feel numb than to feel the hurt and rejection. So if you do have family and friends there who are believing in you enough to hear you, support you and love you, grab it and hold on. Some of us aren't so lucky.
3 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Relying on others with your fibro disabilityAll of us fibro peeps have had those times. Myself, they've never left. Feel blessed that you have family to rely on. My spouse has no desire to understand or even try to help emotionally or physically, but he does provide a roof over my head. He will spend all kinds of time with our new pup, a project he is interested in or tv but dare I ask him for a leg rug or even a shoulder to cry on, forget it. As for the rest of my family I get, "get over it", we're all getting older. Funny how the tables turn when the lifelong caregiver and give no more, but ask or even hope for some help in return, forget it. Moved out of state just to get a clear mind and trying to start over but it's no different. I tried coming off all meds to cleanse my body and start anew but think I will go back to them. It is easier to feel numb than to feel the hurt and rejection. So if you do have family and friends there who are believing in you enough to hear you, support you and love you, grab it and hold on. Some of us aren't so lucky.
maggiethedoglover responded:
My Dear,
I am so sorry that you are experiencing such depression and pain. Did your meds only make you "feel numb" or did they help with your pain? It is truly hard to endure all that the dragon throws at us without some support from loved ones.
I hope that you find someone who will listen to you and support you. We, who come to this community, care about you and give what limited support that we can.
I will continue sending warm hugs and thoughts your way and hope that you will feel some of them coming at you.
Please take care of yourself.
maggie
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats - Voltaire
I am so sorry that you are experiencing such depression and pain. Did your meds only make you "feel numb" or did they help with your pain? It is truly hard to endure all that the dragon throws at us without some support from loved ones.
I hope that you find someone who will listen to you and support you. We, who come to this community, care about you and give what limited support that we can.
I will continue sending warm hugs and thoughts your way and hope that you will feel some of them coming at you.
Please take care of yourself.
maggie
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats - Voltaire
Report This| Share this:Relying on others with your fibro disabilityMy Dear,<br /> <br />I am so sorry that you are experiencing such depression and pain. Did your meds only make you "feel numb" or did they help with your pain? It is truly hard to endure all that the dragon throws at us without some support from loved ones.<br /> <br />I hope that you find someone who will listen to you and support you. We, who come to this community, care about you and give what limited support that we can.<br /> <br />I will continue sending warm hugs and thoughts your way and hope that you will feel some of them coming at you.<br /> <br />Please take care of yourself.<br /> <br />maggie
Booch007 responded:
This is so common with all of us, so you are not alone. It is a tough spot. I think once I was validated by the doctor with my DH life just was better.....
He understood and I stopped "sharing my pain " with him. If I said "no I can't do this"...he helped me (after understanding).
I was made fun of, teased and "tortured" so much in the years prior to that doctor meeting. Then I think my DH had a meeting with my son's and explained I was REAL.....that my therapy I endure is amazing and I was to be helped. Because I don't have the issues anymore.
I used to cry out "I wish I had a big ulcer on my face so you could SEE THIS......This is so painful and I can't do so many things anymore. But in that statement and anger I was in so much more pain as well. The tension of proving sapped energy and tightened me more....
I used my Soma (muscle relaxant) to help calm me at work when I was pissed off at people dumping on me years back. It mellowed me to "just do it" and it all worked out. I am in charge of the area now and "everything comes to he who waits".
Maybe you can try my answer and bring the DH with you to the doctor and let him talk with him. You can't bring a horse to water, but "for better or for worse is what we said"......saying that if he undestands better it might very well help you to not hurt so much. Validation is a great med and I also stopped talking about it so much......
I got educated and understood it too. I used the book FM and Chronic Myofascial Pain, a suvival manual by Dr Devin Starlanyl as my biggest tool to help me "get it" then adding the fmily here to dump on instead of the family at home.....I was up and doing better.
I wish you all the luck, Nancy B
He understood and I stopped "sharing my pain " with him. If I said "no I can't do this"...he helped me (after understanding).
I was made fun of, teased and "tortured" so much in the years prior to that doctor meeting. Then I think my DH had a meeting with my son's and explained I was REAL.....that my therapy I endure is amazing and I was to be helped. Because I don't have the issues anymore.
I used to cry out "I wish I had a big ulcer on my face so you could SEE THIS......This is so painful and I can't do so many things anymore. But in that statement and anger I was in so much more pain as well. The tension of proving sapped energy and tightened me more....
I used my Soma (muscle relaxant) to help calm me at work when I was pissed off at people dumping on me years back. It mellowed me to "just do it" and it all worked out. I am in charge of the area now and "everything comes to he who waits".
Maybe you can try my answer and bring the DH with you to the doctor and let him talk with him. You can't bring a horse to water, but "for better or for worse is what we said"......saying that if he undestands better it might very well help you to not hurt so much. Validation is a great med and I also stopped talking about it so much......
I got educated and understood it too. I used the book FM and Chronic Myofascial Pain, a suvival manual by Dr Devin Starlanyl as my biggest tool to help me "get it" then adding the fmily here to dump on instead of the family at home.....I was up and doing better.
I wish you all the luck, Nancy B
Report This| Share this:Relying on others with your fibro disabilityThis is so common with all of us, so you are not alone. It is a tough spot. I think once I was validated by the doctor with my DH life just was better.....<br /> <br />He understood and I stopped "sharing my pain " with him. If I said "no I can't do this"...he helped me (after understanding).<br /> <br />I was made fun of, teased and "tortured" so much in the years prior to that doctor meeting. Then I think my DH had a meeting with my son's and explained I was REAL.....that my therapy I endure is amazing and I was to be helped. Because I don't have the issues anymore.<br /> <br />I used to cry out "I wish I had a big ulcer on my face so you could SEE THIS......This is so painful and I can't do so many things anymore. But in that statement and anger I was in so much more pain as well. The tension of proving sapped energy and tightened me more....<br /> <br />I used my Soma (muscle relaxant) to help calm me at work when I was pissed off at people dumping on me years back. It mellowed me to "just do it" and it all worked out. I am in charge of the area now and "everything comes to he who waits".<br /> <br />Maybe you can try my answer and bring the DH with you to the doctor and let him talk with him. You can't bring a horse to water, but "for better or for worse is what we said"......saying that if he undestands better it might very well help you to not hurt so much. Validation is a great med and I also stopped talking about it so much......<br /> <br />I got educated and understood it too. I used the book <b>FM and Chronic Myofascial Pain, a suvival manual by Dr Devin Starlanyl</b> as my biggest tool to help me "get it" then adding the fmily here to dump on instead of the family at home.....I was up and doing better.<br /> <br />I wish you all the luck, Nancy B
Randm2220 responded:
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope everyone gets to understanding. I have been blessed that the people in my life understand and are willing to help. The people who didn't understand I have let out of my life. I have educated those around me too. I had my DH go to the doctor with me so it could be explained to him. He in turn has explained it our kids. My kids did online research to better understand also.
I hope the meds will help with the pain and that the people in your life gain understanding.
Kim
I hope the meds will help with the pain and that the people in your life gain understanding.
Kim
Report This| Share this:Relying on others with your fibro disabilityI am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope everyone gets to understanding. I have been blessed that the people in my life understand and are willing to help. The people who didn't understand I have let out of my life. I have educated those around me too. I had my DH go to the doctor with me so it could be explained to him. He in turn has explained it our kids. My kids did online research to better understand also. <br><br>I hope the meds will help with the pain and that the people in your life gain understanding.<br><br>Kim
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