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    Fun Activities FM Has Forced You to Quit?
    xperky posted:
    We have discussed becoming disabled from work quite a bit here. On top of that, have you been forced to stop doing a fun activity due to your FM? If so, what did you replace that activity with? Something less physical, less demanding, less scheduled?

    This week I've had a flare of FM and RA symptoms. I've been knocked down and out! I had to admit to myself that I cannot commit to this year's bowling league. Last year it became extremely difficult to bowl the third game of league due to pain and fatigue. I would have to rest a day or two before and after. It has just become too much for me.

    It brings tears to my eyes to do this. My DH and I have bowled together for years. I will miss the social aspect of it also.

    I feel like I've hit a turning point in my life. I am depressed about this today, but I know I will work out these feelings over time. These illnesses are life-changing.
    With Compassion,
    maggiethedoglover responded:
    Dear Margaret,

    It is with a great deal of sadness that I read your post today as you have always been a person whom I greatly admire on this site. Your compassion for others is eveident in your thoughtful and caring replies.

    Please try to place this in some other light. Can you and DH still find joy and companionship in bowling a game or two, but not in a league? Can you see yourself being the cheering section for your teammates and then work in a game after?

    I will keep you in my heart and my thoughts tonight and will send you a never-ending supply of soft hugs.


    PS: All of my professional life, I was known as Margaret.

    Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats - Voltaire
    booch007 responded:
    Hey Margaret,

    Can you throw a lighter ball? 9lb-12lb...(premed before the meet) I cannot bowl, I know, but I haven't in a long time anyway. Like tennis would be out for me. I know the lines in my sand!

    But a lighter ball might help the issue. You just have to get used to it......try it. Keep the elbow in too if you can, a new way to do it.

    Maybe a trainer? Like learning a better golf game....don't give it up yet, try alternate things first. WE HAVE CHANGED....CHANGE THE APPROACH ON THIS.

    I still have not returned to painting. A gift God gave me and it hasn't been used since having a repetative arm up motion is a no no. I even tried 8x10's in my lap...and it didn't really help.

    So, sad but I wait for the time that it is right. I have less parties and have closed in with freinds and outings......but I still have kept most of who I am. Boxing gloves on and the hardhat on to refigure HOW to do it different.....

    Good luck, I hate to see you throw this bonding thing to the side. Try other approaches..............Hugs, Nancy B
    Randm2220 responded:

    I understand your dilemma! I love to get out and yard sale or take long walks by and in creek with my DH. Fibro has limited me in this. I can't ride in a car for long and the natural trail by the creeks is difficult to navigate. We have changed to going to the lake where the ground is more even and we hit thrift stores more. I also love to work in the yard. Mowing and digging and just getting dirty. I have had to limit my time in the yard. My DH does the mowing now and most of the digging.

    I agree that maybe a lighter bowling ball might help. I love the idea of cheering on your team too!

    I know you will fight and find a way to keep enjoying the things you love!

    Anon_2912 responded:

    Refuse to give into it...
    xperky replied to maggiethedoglover's response:
    Thanks Maggie. Some of my family calls me Maggie or Mag. Margaret has been a good name for me and I'm happy to share it with you...LOL.

    I will be cheering the team on. I plan on bringing my crochet/knitting bag along too, just to keep from getting too bored watching. My secret - I'd never let them know I was bored!

    When I'm feeling better I might offer myself as a substitute once in a while. I would only be committed for the night that way, and it would be free bowling!

    DH is passionate (obsessive?) about bowling, so I'll have to make sure not to bring sadness to his game and to be a source of positive encouragment for him.

    Thanks for your kind words.
    With Compassion,
    xperky replied to booch007's response:
    Hi Nancy. Sorry you had to give up painting. My MIL was a terrific artist. She struggled because she had RA, so sometimes she would put it away for a while. I know you have the shoulder muscles that get annoyed easily and holding the arm up for long periods would be aggravating.

    You have a good idea about changing to a lighter bowling ball. I throw 14 lbs now, and boy does that feel heavy sometimes. The fingers/hand complain. Last year I had the pitches in the finger holes changed to put less strain on the fingers, and that has helped some.

    The other problem is walking the approach over and over. My feet are a big problem here, but I can put those lidoderm patches on afterward! Good arch supports have helped me there too.

    So, you are correct, there are things to be done to help me keep in the game. I just can't commit to being up to it every week for now.

    Hugs back at you.
    With Compassion,
    xperky replied to Randm2220's response:
    Kim, I hear you about the yard work. I love digging in the dirt too. Just do a milder version of it lately...LOL. Not too long ago I dug up a small tree, root ball and all. Then filled in the hole and planted grass. I can't see that happening today! Still able to plant flowers and do the pleasant stuff, and some weeding (ugh). It's feels good to be in nature.

    We find ways to keep at things!
    With Compassion,
    xperky replied to Anon_2912's response:
    That's good, keep on pushing as long as you can. It's funny how once we get started on something, it seems less daunting than it looked. It's all a matter of balancing the activities so as not to create a flare or injuries.
    With Compassion,
    debrabrooks1960 responded:
    I always loved going to the beach to walk or swim. Now I can not walk the soft sand. I can walk to the water, but can not make it back. Plus my balance is off so I can not stand when the waves hit me. I almost drowned the last time I went in the water. Now I just walk on the boardwalk and peer.

    Sometimes DH takes me for a nice meal at a restaurant on the beach so I can watch the waves. Last year for our anniversary he rented a suite in a condo for three days with our room facing the ocean. It was so wonderful. He is wonderful for thinking of ways I can still enjoy things I love!
    Your not over the hill until you are under the hill.
    georgia888 responded:
    Hello Margaret,
    I am so sorry to hear of your woes. Your good attitude shines through each of your messages & I feel confident that you will make the best of any situation.

    I had to give up jogging and power walking. Having done both for over 25 years, needless to say, it was difficult. I have substituted those activities with swimming & have learned to very much enjoy this form of therapy. Of course, I can no longer just put on my sneakers & step out the door as I did with running however, it is well worth the trip to the gym. Fortunately, the gym is just around the corner from my house.

    A bonus I get with the swimming (& water walking) that the jogging didn't offer is the commraderie in the pool. I've made some good friends & now that I'm no longer working this daily social interaction is needed & appreciated.

    Thank you for all that you offer on this site. I hope you can continue to manage your health well.

    xperky replied to debrabrooks1960's response:
    Ah, yes, the beach! I love to look out over the vast ocean. It helps put things in perspective. We are so small a creature on this huge planet. It's been a while since I've been to the beach - need to go.

    Sorry it has become difficult to walk in the sand! Your DH sounds wonderful and so understanding. I would savor a meal at a restaurant on the beach right now. Good seafood while staring at the waves...nice.
    With Compassion,
    xperky replied to georgia888's response:
    Hi georgia. That's such a bonus that you found a new activity to replace the painful one! Sometimes what seems like a bad thing, can turn into a good thing, if we keep trying. I used to jog years ago and loved the solitude and mesmerizing rhythm of it.

    I'm so glad to hear you enjoy some of my posts! I do love to contribute what I can to anyone who might be suffering from FM. Sometimes I lean in and get wonderful advice and empathy from all you good people here. It's so great to be understood.
    With Compassion,

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