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    Saw a new doctor
    clkwc1964 posted:
    Hey FMily,

    Well I had my appt with this new doctor and feel very disappointed. She more or less told me fibromyalgia isn't that bad it cannot kill you or deform you so live with it. I am more than likely going to try the things she suggested but it was a long awaited appt and very disappointing to say the least. Maybe I am not keeping an open mind. I have been under a lot stress lately. Have a very difficult coworker to deal with each day very close at hand. I guess we all have one of these at some point in our life. This person is extremely negative and miserable and wants everyone else to be also. I have dealt with a lot of people in my day but never one quite so miserable and negative. Hope everyone else is doing well. Cat:0)
    dollbug responded:
    Hello good to see your post....sorry your new doctor's appt did not go well....surely she does not treat FM....or perhaps she just does not understand know there are still doctors who have no clue....I hope that IF she is unable to help you...then perhaps you need to start looking again...having a doctor who knows what you are dealing with is so very important...I do hope things work out...

    Being positive is a good thing for us FMers also...and if you are surrounded by negative things all day I am sure this is hard....don't know how close you have to work with this person so maybe you can stay out of the path of them...

    As you know most anything and everything in dealing with FM is a process for us all....but I do hope that you will be able to get all of this worked out somehow..

    Take care and good luck....

    Thoughts and prayers are with you..


    My personal exchanges are Vitamin D and Pain and Wrath of the Dragon....if you care to visit..
    xperky responded:
    Hi Cat. Sorry your new doctor was not helpful in more ways. I hope one of the things she suggested will help somewhat.

    A negative coworker can drag us down. Is there a way you can have a frank discussion and tell that person you don't want to be burdened with their problems as you have enough of your own? Or, could you ask them to be more positive around you because you find yourself feeling worse after hearing their negativity? Perhaps you "just don't have the time right now" will give them a message if you repeat that. It does sound like you need to assert yourself here, as the added stress is not good for you. Who knows, a frank discussion might actually help the person try to see the positives around them!

    Good luck.
    With Compassion,
    annette030 responded:
    I think we all go through times when we hope a new doctor will tell us we do not have FMS at all ("It was just a terrible misdiagnosis."), or will give us a pill that really helps a lot. Don't beat yourself up. But, she is right, FMS is not terminal or deformative. We can learn to live with it over time, we just often need a bit of help medically.

    Do your own research, try as many things as you feel you can, and move on if they don't help after a month or two.

    Over the many years I have had FMS, I have picked up cognitive behavioural therapy, it helps a bunch.

    Also I am sorry to say that all those folk who told me exercise was good for me, were right. It is. I just had to find the right thing for me to do, something I enjoy and will keep up. I have discovered belly dancing, I use instructional DVDs at home, at my convenience. I use various ones to keep it fresh, bought costumes that no one else is allowed to see, and I am having a blast. I have lost about 50 pounds over several years, and do this for one hour a day, every day. It does not decrease the amount of pain that I have, but I do feel better globally. I have been doing it for three years now, I have done nothing else for so long.

    Make the decision to let the negativity of your coworker just roll off your back, like water off a duck. I did that with driving when my son was deployed in Iraq, it doesn't matter at all if it takes me 20 minutes instead of 15 to get somewhere. At least I will get there, calm and feeling good. This is part of CBT, you learn you cannot change other people, only your reactions to what they do.

    You will be fine.

    Take care, Annette
    clkwc1964 responded:
    Mimi, Margaret, Annette,

    Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement. Actually I have been very assertive with this person and even aggressive at times due to the extreme negativity of them. They make comments about religion and politics that are quite abusive. I do not attack other peoples religion or choice of political party and believe others should not also. The long and short of it is this person is very miserable, bored (does not have enough work to do) They spend half the day outside smoking with every other smoker in the building that takes a break, and basically think everything is a joke. It would not be so bad if they were not old enough to know better but when you are over 50 you should definitely have it together by now. I definitely think I have to come to a point where I can let it roll off my back like water off a ducks back all the time and not just most of the time. I do pretty good most of the month but when I am PMS'ing not so great at all. I really thought I was gonna have to quit the other day though. I pray for peace and happiness for this person. I went to a webcast party the other day on the new book Lysa Teurkherst wrote "Unglued" I want to get the book and maybe I can apply some of her ideas in dealing with this negative person and others like them.
    I had my first appt with the chiro for the myofascial release yesterday that the new doctor referred me to. It was very interesting and helped quite a bit for about half the day. Unfortunately today I feel pretty lousy. But I do have high hopes that this treatment will be beneficial in the long run. The doctor told me it was a process and since I have over 10 years of build up tight fascia it will take time to loosen that and make it better. He was very nice and encouraging. He told me I am managing my fibro quite well with my diet and exercise so this positive reinforcement was also very encouraging. I will not give up. I do feel a little discouraged though because I waited a long time to try another doctor and was hoping her bedside manner would be what I was told it was. She talked so fast and was explaining what fibromyalgia is like I don't know after over ten years of living with it- actually probably 15 years from the first symptoms. Possibly even longer you lose track after a while. Anyway I do thank you all for the encouragement and support. I just wish I had more time to spend on this website. As it stands now that I am working full time I don't have much free time at all. The weekends seem to be full of housework, yardwork, shopping, laundry, church, and basically trying to get ready to start the whole process of the work week over again. School is back in though and this year has so far been much better than last year. I guess as my baby gets older she will become more independent with her homework and such. Nutcracker is getting ready to kick off again and this is fun but also exhausting. Practice on Saturday and Sundays until after the performances at Thanksgiving weekend. Choices, choices, choices do we keep on trucking and be tired all the time or do we give in to this monster and let life float by well for now I choose to be involved and be tired. LOL . Take care all and hope all is well in your neck of the woods. God Bless. Cat :0)
    clkwc1964 replied to annette030's response:

    How do you get CBT? Is it per a therapist or self initiated with books etc? Cat:0)
    annette030 replied to clkwc1964's response:
    When I moved to another state, my mental health therapist gave me a book called "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns, MD. It is great, I think I read it back during nursing school or right afterwards. I picked out the different techniques that I thought would be useful to me, and just used them. Since then I have given the book to a few friends and family members, everyone loved it. It is a good read and also very useful. When the good doctor wrote the book, I think CBT was used mostly for depression and anxiety, now it is used for many things.

    The short answer is, either one. I would ask a therapist if they used CBT before starting out, but you can also buy the book and use it yourself. It includes assessment tools in the back that you can copy and use to track your progress.

    Take care, Annette
    booch007 responded:
    Morning Cat,

    Nice to see you post again.. Sorry with the doctor issue, it is somethng we have all had happen to us. The silly things I heard along the way and the "nothing is wrong" also...Yikes!

    At work I am in charge of quite a few people and rub shoulders with more. Most women...they are a complaining crowd most of the time. I have a malignant narcisist(sp?) as well...she is the toughest personality I deal with.

    As Annette says..."like a diuck" I listen and take little IN....I am always dropping a positive. I am also able to go to my space and play my iPod and be with the patients for alot of the time.

    Lunch brings it all back again though. Usually all junk being spoken......some out of the young girls really surprises me how the future of marriage and motherhood is going to continue.

    Again, I hear it.....but like water, roles off my back. If asked for comment I always stay neutral. This is their lives and I DON'T live like that. If this person is manager to you and has authority over you, that is more difficult but still able to smile and let it go. YOU CAN DO THIS.....

    I started walking the building in the morning to help dissolve the stress I was under when we had cut backs and I had to make them each B/P was helped my overall outlook. Maybe it is a thought. Get in early and walk around your building? The air and effort made me even more positive for the day.

    I wish you luck. Personal dynamics are a toughy, as it is only you who can adjust the absorption of it all....Hugs from me, Nancy B
    SimoneSilvestrin responded:
    Hi Cat, I had a disaster one myself yesterday. I have a friend who is a Psicology Doctor student at the most reliable college in Brazil and a Teacher in one of the best universities here and he came by yesterday and I mentioned my pain was finally better after a cycle of terrible pain and guess what?? His answer was "oh, yeah, FM is an emotional disease". My husband was stunned to listen to that. Not even our professional friends are ready to deal with us... bummer.
    I?m glad we have each other to care and fight for our wellness.
    If I can say something, I decided never going in doctors alone anymore. My husband is coming with me.
    clkwc1964 replied to booch007's response:
    Nancy B,

    Thanks. As always great advice. It really does help knowing you are not alone and can come here and vent and get support. Thanks Cat:0)
    clkwc1964 replied to SimoneSilvestrin's response:

    Thanks. So true even our professional friends and colleagues do not understand. It is really ashame. That is what is so amazing about Dr P. I just wish more doctors and nurses and professionals understood it better. When I attended the fibromyalgia support group there was a very prominant OB/GYN in the group that suffered from FMS also. She had to quit her practice which was extremely profitable as she was a great OB doctor. She fully understood FMS . Now if someone like that had to quit working because of this monster and give up mega bucks what the heck . Sounds like your husband is supportive and wonderful. So glad for you. My husband is also. I feel bad for anyone who does not have this support. Thanks. Cat:0)
    alliceaa responded:
    So Sorry I had the same thing happen to me in May. I waited 6 weeks to see the first person and after he read my history he stated they did not treat Fibro. The funny thing is I was not there for that, I just gave a though history so they could help me. Well I felt so degraded, dismissed and treated with the contempt. I told the front desk I would not return and why and they are still billing me for the appt. I waited another 6 weeks and got in to see a pain management doctor for another problem and during the exam she says your really have severe Fibromyalgia I did not know what to say I was stunned. Then she said that she believed it is real and treats it. What a relief I did not go there for that but now I am being treated for all of my issues. It only took since 1997 to now to find someone who believes in it. Negative people around us makes everything worse, even when we are trying to be positive ourselves. Due to other health issues I am not working now but I still have negative people where ever I go. At other docto's offices, stores, even relaties. No one wants to have this I feel like if they all had it for one week they would all stop. I would like all doctors to have it for a time and see if they treat us as badly after. Hope you find someone in your area, I just got luckly. Good luck
    annette030 replied to clkwc1964's response:
    My old therapist gave me a book when I moved away called "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns, MD. I did it by myself, you can use it with or without drugs, I didn't use drugs, I have had bad reactions to antidepressants.

    See my other post in this thread.

    Take care, Annette
    clkwc1964 replied to alliceaa's response:
    So very happy you had a positive outcome. It was definitely a long time coming. Sorry you had that experience with the other doctor but thank God in the end you did find this new super understanding wonderful doctor. Best of luck and I will keep you in my prayers. Cat:0)
    lngstandingpain replied to SimoneSilvestrin's response:
    I had to laugh when I read the end of your post, Simone. LOL. I thought I was the only one who had figured out that we are taken more seriously when bringing our husband along to the doctor's office. It works for me!

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