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    Randm2220 posted:
    Hello all.

    My mind is racing. I don't even know where to start.

    Let's start with medicine change. I was taking celexa and it worked great on my mood and mind. I was able to enjoy the day. I was attentive to my husbands needs and took the time to make things easier for him by doing little things for him to let him know that I loved him. I looked forward to each day and was excited to go into the yard and work or cook up a storm in my kitchen. My pain level was pretty high and by noon or so I was down. My doctor took me off the celexa and put me on cymbalta. My mood is tanked. I don't want to do anything. I take little joy in doing anything. I don't do the little things for my husband. Not because I don't want, but because I don't think of doing them until after the opportunity is missed. I don't want to work in the yard. I don't want to my crafts. I feel guilty all the time. I told my doctor this the other day and she increased the cymbalta. Hopefully it will help..... Pain level is a bit lower on the cymbalta. I hate medicine changes.

    Onto the next problem. Financially we are not able to make it where we live so we are planning to move to Alabama. Hubby has lots of family there to help me and support me. (I don't have any immediate family to speak of) DH has applied for a position there with the company he already works for. We will move in brother iwith his brother for a mo th. then they are moving to a different house and we will stay in his. A family friend owns the house and is excited that we will be in it. Getting through this year is going to be tough. Financially. After the first of the year we will be ok. We have cut costs as much as possible and we are talking of dropping out health insurance for a year. We are veterans so we will ahve veterans care. Our children are still on our insurance right now. Our son turns 26 in April so he will be off. Our daughter is only 23 and still eligible to be on it. But what choice do I have? We have to make ends meet some how. I have no where else to cut costs. We don't even use our dryer anymore and the beautiful grass we planted is dead because I can't afford to water it.

    My emotions are mixed. I am excited about the move but dreading the planning and the packing. This is all making my head spin and I lash out quite a bit. My last lash out was towards my cat. I got mad at her for leaving hair balls everywhere. I tossed her outside and have not seen her since. Now I am guilt ridden.

    I am just a mess right now and needed to talk to someone.

    booch007 responded:
    Oh Kim....(((hugs))).

    Transition to anything is so hard. To have the financial worries on top of everything just can be flare producing.

    Are you religious? Can you give this to God to watch over you? Can you get out and away to a good place for distraction for a bit......Getting smaller in the world can be a good thing, like being around family can be the best help you could have asked for. Remember that few understand us, so don't look for a miracle there...

    Hoping the new home is FM freindly and maybe one floor for everything.....less yard to maintain...

    Make sure before you change your insurance your meds are right. It will make this passage worse. Why was the Celexa removed? She could have just gone with a pain med in there...rather play with the brain chemistry. Please don't struggle too long with it before speaking up and returning to what gives you a life. IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU......

    Not the newest med, what seems to be better in literature or what everyone else does is better......I also hate med changes. All my best during this time, I would love to just hug you......sorry we are on the board and you get (((hugged))) in this way................................Take it slow, Nancy B
    gdsjoy responded:
    My heart aches for you. I hate the mood changes and meds changes too. I started on cymbalta to replace zoloft and has helped a lot. But I also have seasonal mood disorders and have been off and on grumpy-angry these last weeks. Plus the change from summer to school, so I went from a houseful to just half day kindergartner. I should be delighted.

    I will pray for your move. I hope you have a good group of people, church or people your dh works with, to help pack. And make sure the family know when you move out there, there is a chance of the stress of the move setting you back. But then, if it is a good supportive environment, and they are helping, hopefully you will be able to recover from the set back and start to have more good days.

    God bless your day.
    nebraskannie responded:
    I, too hate med changes. Life changes, like moving make things even harder.Can you do any relaxation techniques like visualization, or progressive relaxation? You can google them on the web and there are lots of them out there. You need to practice them to get the best out of them, but they help me over the really bad times. They lower the pain, too, if I remember to do them! Can you keep a journal to unload your emotions in? As far as meds, my attitude is if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Maybe you need to go back to the last med if your mood was better, there are lots of things to do to lower pain levels, even non-drug things. Most of all, I hope you have a good friend, a good support group, or a safety net of docs and friends who can help you throughout the move and after. If you have psych services through the VA, I know psychotherapy has helped me deal with mood and pain as well as the stress of life changes. Maybe that would help, too. One thing I have is an emergency list on my fridge of all the things I can do to make myself feel better. Sometimes, I can't remember what they are when I feel so bad, so looking at the list, I can just start doing something. Sometimes, it takes several things to do, like reading, a warm shower, petting my dog, calling my best friend, asking my guy for a massage, etc. Before I know it, I'm having a decent day! What are your 10 top things? Hang in there and remember this will pass, too.
    Randm2220 responded:
    Thank you for all the support and hugs!

    After writing the post I got down on my knees and just prayed! Don't even know how long I was praying. I thanked God for all the wonderful things that I have in my life and asked for him to unload me and provide.

    I spent time talking to my mother in law and she prayed with me too. Then I hit the phones gathering information for the upcoming move. Good news on the unemployment front. My benefits have been extended through the end of the year and they will transferable to Alabama. That is a weight off me for sure. Not a total financial weight, but now we know we will have that income for the move.

    Also spoke to social security. A decision is in but my case worker could not tell me what it is. Silly..... Anyway, the letters is in the mail. There will be no problem in my moving anything out of state or any interruption in it.

    My family in Alabama is very supportive and understands fibro very well. On my visit there a few weeks ago I educated them and they understand. They know I will have good and bad days. They witnessed a bad day where I couldn't get off the couch for 2 days. They also saw my good days and made sure that I didn't over do just becaus I felt good.

    Of course, there is my support here! I don't think I could handle all this if it wasn't for you guys! My DH understands but there is nothing like people who are going through the same thing as I am.

    As for my medicine change, my doc wants me to try the increased dose of the cymbalta before changing back to celexa. I will give it a chance. I have an open mind. Lol.

    Thanks again my friends!

    katmandulou responded:
    I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Life sure gets complicated, doesn't it? Take a few minutes, your favorite beverage, and sit outside for 10-15 minutes, listen to the bird and the breeze through the trees. (I hope there are birds and trees where you live!). Sometimes taking just a little time to decompress can save my sanity. And Kitty might come home too, so have a few treats for her.

    I pray all good things happen with your move. Is there any way DD can get insurance on her own? That could save you a few $$ every month. Too much upheaval will make you feel icky; you have to make the time, however small, to take care of you.

    Don't lose touch with us, we have been through it and we do care. You're a member of the FMily!
    LIDEBRAS responded:
    I read your letter twice, Hard to concentrate with an awful migraine and FM. I understand how you feel. I've had FM for 19 years and have changed meds many times. I found a wonderful Dr who is a marvel with FM patients and he has put me on a combination of meds that not only helps the FM, chronic migraines, but the other medical problems I have. I couldn't do this without him. Dropping medical insurance FOR YOU, I don't think is wise AT ALL! Last year, the cost of my medications if I didn't have insurance would've been $21K ! You heard it, 21 thousand $. Unreal! That is not counting all the Dr's co-pays, tests, etc. At a minimum, hold onto the medical insurance for you! Have you applied for SSD? With all that going on with me, I applied by myself for SSD and got it! Two years after you are approved for SSD, you go on Medicare. Think about it and good luck!
    xperky replied to Randm2220's response:

    I feel your stress through your words. I also hate that you are feeling so detached from the joys in your life on your new medicine. Keep a close eye on that. You usually seem like an upbeat soul and today seem, well, not so upbeat! Fatigue is really hard.

    It is so good that you and your DH are moving forward with plans for a new life together. It will be a lot of work to pack and move, but it is good to dream of better financial times ahead. Can you get a floor plan or pictures with measurements of the rooms in the house? You can visualize where things will be and start to move forward in your mind.

    Sorry you have been grouchy! My cats can also cause a ton of work when their stomachs act up, and usually on days where I can't get up from cleaning the floor, LOL. I find a daily brushing really helps against hairballs. I hope your kitty comes home. You can try putting out a shirt that smells like you, along with food and water, or better yet - water from a tuna can. Pets are very forgiving.

    I'll be thinking of you.
    With Compassion,
    Randm2220 responded:
    Well, let's try this again.....

    I guess I hit a wrong button and I think I lost what ever I had just typed. If not, sorry to post twice. Lol

    I appreciate all the responses and support from my FMily. It sure helps me to unload and know that others can relate.

    Since my mind is not working and I can't remember names to save my life..... Lol. I will randomly respond. I am so sorry that you have a migraine! I can relate to that. I too suffer from them. Not as frequently as I used to have them. I thank you for taking the time to respond when feeling so bad. That means a lot to me. (lidebra) ha! I scrolled down to refresh name. I will still have insurance through the va so that won't be an issue of not having any. My DD is waiting to hear if she got a faculty position at her school so she will be covered. She has never used our insurance except when getting injured playing softball. Her softball career ended over a year ago.

    Katmandu, I do take the time to watch the wonders of nature! I love nature! I have bird feeders right outside my front door that I can watch from a balcony. Love to watch the humming birds feed. Butterfly attracting plants are there as well and they love to come feed too! It has been very hot and humid outside the past few days so my stay outside is not long lived.

    Margret, my DH and I are looking forward to the move and a new begining. I was thinking last night that we will have to set some ground rules for our family thou. Lol. We like our quiet time together and our rest and relax time. We have not lived near family for over 20 years and we are kinda set in our ways. Lol. They will respect our time and give us our space if we need it. They are wonderful people and I am honored to be a part of their family.

    Thanks again my FMily for the support and listening to me vent and respond! I could not do this without you all!


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