Ignorance is annoying
walmartsupermom posted:
I was having a really bad day on Monday. I needed my cane it was so bad (for the first time in a couple of months). I only needed it to do major waling because there were issues with my legs and lower back and the pressure points in those areas.
Due to car issues at my parents my dad is using my mom's car, which is what I use when my husband is at work (Like he was Monday). My dad had the car at the local laundry mat 2 blocks away. I needed the car so I decided to meet him there. I waited until he was almost done before walking down there.
On my way I passed the area where the news papers are collected by the people who do routes. One was a little old couple picking up the papers for their grandson who had the route but was in school. The little old lady looked at me as I passed, with my cane, and said "you're too young for that". I responded with "tell that to the stupid teenager who t-boned my truck eight months ago". I was well off the cane and had my fibro mostly under control before the accident. Now the fibro is so far out of control everyday seems like I was just diagnosed yesterday and I have other symptoms that indicate further damage done to the spine, nerves, and other soft tissue areas of the back, thus affecting my limbs. This lady felt that because I looked young that I didn't need a cane. She didn't know me or anything about me.
It really irritates me when I am out in public using some sort of support to get around and people tell me to stop because I am not in the right age range for it. My insurance won't pay for lyrica on the grounds that I am "not old enough for the diagnosis so it must be something else". I have medicade so I am limited anyway, but they won't cover lyrica for anyone under 40 because that is the youngest age they will accept a diagnosis of fibro from a doctor for any medicine. They give me pain meds for it that they say are treating severe osteo-arthritis to get me the relief I need in the first place. Why is everyone so willing to associate a problem with age. If a disease like cancer can effect people of all ages why is it so hard to accept the idea that a non-life threatening but really painful one like fibro can too, particularly with other issues making it worse.
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Walmartsupermom,

Just wanted to give you a soft ((((hug)))).

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell
mnjeepguy responded:
I'm under 40, I get that. Sometimes people a lot older than me have commented that I am too young for my issues. Most were merely suggeating that it was unfortunate, not that it wasn't possible to happen to me because I was too young. It is possible they were in the same mindset.

Unfortunately people cannot see pain. This is always a huge misunderstanding. If only they knew. I hope things get better for you and I hope that at least those close to you understand and support you.
sexymamma12 responded:
Ignorance is a terrible thing for people to live by so let it go they live bleak lives and most likely they judge others. Only GOD can judge you or me not the people of our society. Hope you feel better by now.
annette030 responded:
I wasn't there, so I cannot know what other body cues she was putting out when she made this remark.

My husband walked with a cane for a while. He has no hair at all due to chemo treatments many years ago, but it makes him look young for his age. No grey hair, I guess. Lots of obviously much older folks used the same line as an opener with him, saying "You are too young to be using that cane." They were just lonely, old folks who wanted to have a conversation with someone or we chose to take it that way, rather than as an offensive remark. We chatted in the elevator, or at the grocery store for a moment or two, and moved on.

I don't feel like everyone is making a judgement about you or your need for a cane. Please don't feel that way yourself.

I don't know about Lyrica other than for me it didn't work any better than gabapentin, which I went back to. I am sorry that it is not available for you.

I hope you feel better soon.

Take care, Annette