Good morning and welcome to the fmily,
Sad to always welcome a newbie as we are growing in numbers all the time. So many don't come here either.
I too took years before I put an antidepressant in my mouth. I just kept saying the brain chemistry is screwed up enough I don't want to play with it more. Well, it was helpful to me when I was given the right one.
Cymbalta was my first and it was an awful experience and so was neurontin (for neuropathy pain) for me. I take a baby Savella...a tiny blue pill 12.5mg (50mg twice a day is standard) BUT I only need 12.5mg.....so you see keep an eye on yourself when you decide to begin.
My lows with this is when I hurt so much or my body is saying *no* and the mind is saying YES.....frustration brings me down.
You I am sure have re-invented yourself a few times over due to this. That is the plan...take small steps and re-invent yourself to survive. Tolerance is another word I will add here.
It is over 15years now I think I deal with this and I kept saying I would not take off the boxing gloves to give him one more inch of me......well I think this year I have begun to learn to dance with him. Dancing with our dragon just means that I don't fret about it so much. I wake up and he is there ALWAYS waiting...even at a nap...stiff and hurting, burning hands maybe a headache with an over the line moment.
But to get the meds right, the habits perfected so as to not push myself too much. This takes time. Acccepting a situation same thing. There will be a time you may say....my lows outway my norms or that the pain is higher and staying there...the antidepressant helps with the "seratonin" level (your happy chemicals) so you don't reabsorb them and there are more bathing the brain to "be happy"
In a nutshell. For me, my savella increases norepinephrine (like epinephrine) (which is your fight or flight chemical) It also inhibits reabsorption of seratonin and pain is less. So they are approaching this as a chemical imbalance in our brains to help with our sensations.
I hope you come to a balance with this dilemma. It really was years I fought with a friennd of mine who wanted me on something. Cymbalta near killed me and it wasn't til my doc retired and the new doc sat with me and said...take the literature on this med and try it...start slow. I never got past one beginning dose tablet BUT IT MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. I call it my little bow on the box!
I take alot of Vitamins, supplements and Vit D as well.
Check out the Members toolbox under resources for the ideas that fmily have posted over the years of tricks they did to be best, not better...best. Good luck and welcome again.
Nancy B