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My family thought I was faking...
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An_248935 posted:
I was just diagnosed 11 days ago with Fibromyalgia. In the last 6 months I've been told I was just lazy and wasn't trying to do anything with my life cause I hurt all the time. The diagnosis makes me understand that I wasn't just imagining things. Yet it makes nervous because my lab results have my doctor telling me I need to go see a specialist as soon as possible. I can't lean my family for support cause they don't think anything is wrong with me. I've had to fight depression on my own (I hold a BA in psychology) because my family thought I could fix myself. It's nice to find out I'm not alone in this. But I'm still expected to do everything for everyone else and not myself.
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dollbug responded:
Hello and welcome.....MiMi in NC....so sorry that you are dealing with so much....it is interesting but I think we have all been down the road of no one believing that we are in such pain...those people do not have a clue...just because we do not *look sick*...does not mean that we aren't....

Learn all you can about the wrath of the dragon, aka FM....the more you know the better you will cope...there are all kinds of good *tools and tips* that you can try...we are all different though and what works for one may or may not work for you...it does take a trial and error process which does take time and effort....so hang in there...

This is a very unique FM support group....and there are people here who understand exactly what you are being faced with every day....

Please know that your pain is indeed real...very real.

I do hope you will ask your doctor or the specialist to make sure to check your Vitamin D level...which is important for a lot of people these days...low Vitamin D can cause additional pain and it can also affect other illnesses as well..

Please check out the info here also under *tips* and *resources*...there are a lot of good *tools* there that perhaps you have not thought of...

I am one of the FMers here who has learned how to *control my FM pain by taking vitamins and supplements and doing other things as well*....I did try several different kinds of medicine but was unable to find something which worked for me without causing other side effects...so I eventually did my own research and figured out what would help...most of mine was by trial and error...it took me a long time but it was worth it...I am not completely pain free...and I have chronic fatigue also which I have not found anything at all to help with it...

I use heating pads when needed...stopain spray..(good stuff found at walmart for under $...drink plenty of water every day and watch what I eat...do gentle exercises and gentle stretches...and I have learned how to pace, pace and pace even more with things that I have to do...we, FMers, also have to learn to say *NO* at times...I no longer can plan much....as I never know from time to time what I may or may not feel like...but that's OK...I try to do things when I feel up to it...I no longer push myself...or cross my line, if I can help it...IF I do...then I pay dearly for doing so...

Getting enough sleep is also important for us FMers as well...so very important....when I need to I take a hot shower at night using lavender bath salts in a stopped up drain...right before bedtime...it helps to relax my body so that I can sleep....I do sleep in a recliner, but not by choice...

OK...I hope this helps...I hope you will post often, ask questions, make comments and/or suggestions...

Take care and good luck...remember you are not alone....


MiMi
IN GOD WE TRUST....MAY GOD BLESS AND GUIDE AMERICA....

My personal exchanges are Vitamin D and Pain and Wrath of the Dragon....if you care to visit..
 
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xperky responded:
Sorry about your diagnosis, but I hope your family now understands a little better. Are you going to see a specialist?

Depression is hard to fight on your own, so even though you have that wonderful degree, I hope you can find some relief with help from other professionals.

Welcome to this site. I've found so much helpful info here, and I hope you do too.
With Compassion,
Margaret
 
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booch007 responded:
What kind of specialist do you need to see?

Maybe it is a mix of problems and once that is straightened out this dysfunction you feel will be better.

I was so badly Vit D deficient and a few other things, once I learned* of it and was treated.....I was a bit better. Magnesium was another....

This diagnosis leads to two roads, one is to look for everything from the doctor and a pill and probably will get somewhat better. Or the road of education and learning about yourself, your new limits and working with the MD to get the right meds (with a trial and error period) and doing so much better. Most of my meds are not pills!

It is a tough label to be given, yet validating to have a label. The course of acceptance is different in all of us. So, here is hoping you move forward quick and feel better soon.

With the family, it was so important for me to bring my husband to the doctor with me to hear and see my therapy.......he then became my "champion" behind my back to validate me to the whole family. My son's were the worst, made fun of me every chance they had (cried often in the shower where no one could hear me).....

That is all old news now. I forgive those who don't understand me, and my husband forgets at times and I have to reset before I speak to ask for help (not my thing, it admits I can't do) But I do.....
No one will understand this but those living with it, it is a crazy life. But you can HAVE a life and be better....Look in our TOOLBOX to the right in resources and read the stories and tools that others have used to be better then when they came.

Good luck and we are open 24/7...so come often with your questions, complaints, pity parties....or just share somethng nice that has happened to you or a good day that arrived!

Take care, Nancy B
 
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cwalker608 responded:
I would also encourage you to seek professional help with the depression, rather than trying to fight it on your own. I have a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and am a licensed psychologist. But I have learned the value of seeking professional help for my anxiety and for my feelings of having to do everything for everybody. I've worked with a therapist and even used anti-anxiety medication when needed. Both were hard decisions because for a long time I felt that I should have been able to self-treat.
 
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creedus replied to cwalker608's response:
I understand that about seeing a professional. My professors taught me that I can not heal myself. Something my family doesn't understand. I was once on buspirone when a doctor diagnosed my pains as just stress.
 
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creedus replied to booch007's response:
I'm having to go to a rheumatologist. The reason I'm nervous is because this is the same doctor that treats a family member that has lupus. She understands how I'm feeling, we're both in our early 30s and are finding out we're sick..
 
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booch007 replied to creedus's response:
Well there you go...an advocate. We are close to our Lupus buddies....feelings are so similar. They have findings in labs though, that is the only difference and we don't get into organ involvement.

But someone who will understand you....the paper called "But you don't look sick" is written by a lupus patient but we use it to describe us.

The "Spoon Theory" being another one. Where you can say I have say 26 spoons to spend for the day...laundry takes 8 of them, vaccuming 10 so you see I am going to run out of spoons soon if I continue to do all this...then when I am out of spoons...NO SPOONS LEFT : no energy left, can't cook or function...

It is a way to describe the day and how you just run out of gas..
Pacing yourself to spend your spoons correctly and plan for the day ahead. It is useful to help understand the body you now live in.

I am so glad you have this advocate and now you have us.

We are here always, and understand you fully.

I have tooled an 8 hour wellness window to this point and work hard in that span and then....rest is all I have left( no spoons). I am here for 13 years now I think and so glad I found this site to help me figure me out and understand that I wasn't alone with some of the crazy symptoms we can develop.

Not many do the trigger point injections as I do but that is OK, we are still fmily in pain. And a shoulder is a shoulder....

Good luck in getting to the best you can be.......Nancy B


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