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sharbear posted:
I've been suffering from fibro since I was approx 16yrs old. I'm now 30, and feel as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I have two children, 7 & 11, and I feel like such a failure as a mother because I'm so limited in the things I can do. I'm taking Tramadol and Gabapentin and they take the edge off of my pain and fatigue. I tried Lyrica and I found it helped but my doctor told me that I wasnt allowed to take it with my tramadol and gabapentin. After a while, I gave up on the Lyrica and swithced back to the tramadol and gabapentin. I don't know where to turn now. My doctor has only been practicing medicine for a few years and isnt very knowledgeable about chronic pain management. I feel as though I'm living a wasted life and death would be more preferrable. I take celexa and risperdal for the depression my fibro has caused. I wasted my 20's in the house on the couch or in bed. I feel like the Lyrica combined with the gabapentin and tramadol may have been a good combo for me. Has anyone else taken this combo together? My friend has fibro and she takes these 3 meds together. Does my doc even know what she is talking about?
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crystalgreeneyes responded:
I just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you for the physical and mental pain you are experiencing. I can't answer the question you have about the combination of medications but I do know that you have to keep trying until you find what works. Have you tried Cymbalta? I am not taking anything for pain or depression because every drug seems to have intolerable side effects for me. I only take a sleeping pill at night and an anti-anxiety medication. I have felt like you do on many occasions. Just last night I was in tears with the pain and I just went to my room and I felt so alone.
You are not a failure as a mother. Your children have made it this far with you. Do you have any support? I know this is crucial for those who suffer as we do. I feel incredibly hurt that no one seems to care about what I am going through but I imagine they just don't know what to do any more. I had a reply from a young women who told me that there is a video about fibro for families to help them understand the condition. My advice to you is have your dr. refer you to a rheumatologist or pain clinic. They have much more experience in putting together combinations of drugs for people with chronic pain and the depression that goes hand in hand. My daughter is 22, I love her and I carry on because of her. Take care and good luck. I hope you find the much needed help. There is a phone number that you can call if you are in crisis too, don't be afraid to call them.
 
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Anon_10089 replied to crystalgreeneyes's response:
I believe Lyrica and gabapentin are similar in formulation. Perhaps talk to your doctor about increasing the dosage of gabapentin or switching totally to Lyrica.

You might want to see a therapist, if you can, especially one that deals with chronic pain. They can help give you practical ways to cope with the pain.
 
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dakotaspirit1957 responded:
Darling sharbear... With all my heart and soul I cry out to you... You have so much to live for... just line up your children... And don't do it like I did when mine were about 2, 4, and 7... When I felt I had nothing more to live for and was taking them with me... for I had no one to leave them with... Their father's were gone... I had no family to care... I was the black sheep of the family... I was alone... No we were alone... And I had carried them into the room still sleeping and turned an unlit gas stove on... Fortunately, coming out of the mental black out I was in timely enough for us all to be saved... And wise enough I was... to get the help I needed... Not saying this is what you will do... My situation was both medical and a medicine response... I had literally gone manically depressed and suicidal... Do you have a choice?

You wasted your 20 years in bed or on the couch... Have you wasted your childrens first 7 and 11 years of their lives too? Never... For you have loved them and cared for them... Cuddled them and nurtured them... I was alone raising mine and put my bed in the living room or dining room... thus I could see them in their rooms and see them at play... I got ill when my oldest was 5 and my youngest was 3 months old... I lost out a lot on the school things until I was less proudful and accepted the use of a wheelchair... Then I could go more places... Mostly we still had to walk to them for I was still alone a lot and didn't drive... So my oldest was my wheelchair driver and the youngest two sat on the arms of the chair with me... But we got places... And the TV was watchable from my bed o we all 4 cuddled up and watched TV and played Atari till our finger had blisters... now that dates me lol... We even had picnics on the bed when I couldn't get off it or get up off the floor should I get down on it... Indoor picnics in the rain or snow... Or just cus Mommy had a bad flare for a few days and couldn't b e a normal Mommy... I couldn't teach them how to build snowmen in the snow so a friend brought in a baby bathtub full of snow and we made mini snowmen and watched how long it took them to melt... We even added a snowball fight to aur long list of food fights we occasionally rarely had lol...lol... We found many special things to do together to make up for the things I couldn't do... All this made us closer and bonded us so much that I know they took care of me a lot when they truly wanted to play and they could have gone to so many things they didn't... It didn't matter... Today we remain just a close... and they are my biggest and greatest support... My sons even take care of me so much one has me living with him and the other is moving home to help... Of course we will all be a great support for each other for one still works about 50-70 hours a week and one is unable to work and all 3 of us have FM... So we are great together... And together we pray my daughter stays her healthy self... And we love her families frequent visits...

The best in life is the time I spend with my children and 7 grandchildren... 2 of them a blessing on a daily blessing... They are worth the pain of living thru the pain... I am worth living thru the pain... You are worth living thru the pain... I wake up and cry out when I move to get out of bed every morning without a break... I live with multiple illnesses and often FM is the least of my problems... It is chronically there... I don't really know what a flare is like for I don't think it ever goes away... I hurt 24/7 and take some powerful meds... The pain is helped so it is tolerable to me... Dr.s are amazed... I just shrug...

You have u beside you.... You are not alone... You have so much you can still offer your babies...

I ran out of space Take care... Love... Jan/Dakota
 
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painfullyexhausted responded:
I have been in your shoes so many times but you must remember that your children need "their" mother. I go through this at least once a month (more lately with other health issues going on) and I cry, curse, yell, cry more, talk and say exactly what I'm feeling at that moment wheather it's saying I can't do this or I don't want to do this one more second or saying I hate myself, everything that I'm feeling comes out of my mouth. It's really ugly with all that snot and tears and sounding like a sailor (my mom would be so proud lol) but damn it, I don't care. After about an hour with swollen eyes and gross tissues and a husband that is exhausted, I feel so much better.

Of course this does absolutely nothing for the pain and fatigue but it helps me mentally. Just being able to let loose with uncensored emotion is awesome. No, I'm not certifiable crazy, just crazy from what this silent, miserable, mysterious condition does to me.

I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've said "I hate myself" because I'd be one rich girl ! This being said, you have to understand that I have the most amazing husband. He takes care of everything for our family and never, ever complains so I feel completely safe when I have my melt downs. We have 4 children, 2-19, so I know what you mean when you say you feel like a failure. I do what I can, but when I can't, he steps in. I also work full time and on my feet for 8-10 hrs per day !!! I'm exhuasted every minute of every day and usually not in the best of moods. If he had it his way, I'd be home every day taking care of myself, god bless his little heart. As a woman, I feel like I need to do my part and I'm somewhat stubborn so I always do too much therefore I pay dearly for it.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm with you on the way you feel, and I'm trying to let you see how our lives compare as far as being a mother and working and taking care of our own but feeling totally worthless. We all have been there and I will be there over and over again but you can't give up, you can't do that to your babies. Wouldn't it be better for them to remember mom not feeling good instead of them growing up and not remember mom at all ? This is what keeps me grounded. No, it's not fair that we have to deal with this every damn day for the rest of our lives and it sucks to pretend that life is great when all you want to do is be in the fetal position with the blankets over your head but you have to think about the people in your life that would rather have you the way you are than not have you at all.

This, by far, is the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around because they don't know what it's like to be me and I think it's selfish on their part for expecting me to suffer for them ! Think about that one, that's how bad I feel at times ! You will go through what your dealing with right now so many more times in your life. Scream, curse, and cry but never give up. I want to, every day, but here I am giving some one else advice, go figure. I'm sorry, I just felt like I needed to say this to you for some reason. Maybe because you remind me of someone I know lol or because hearing someone else saying it made me think about my own family and what it would do to them if I gave up. So, thank you. You actually helped me view things differently. You are loved and your children love you just the way you are. They will understand someday, my 2 older ones certainly do.

As far as the Gabapentin, maybe it's too similar to Lyrica and they shouldn't be taken together. Just a guess. Ask a Pharmacist that question and find a good doctor that will listen. You will be in my thought, take care. Best of luck.... Your "sharbear" probably means something to someone ; )
 
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booch007 responded:
I also have been there. Not able to see that anything will change with me, that forever is so overwhelming...

I kept looking for a better doctor to fit my needs. I found Dr D. and she taught me so much about me. I also paid close attention to what helped me and what was a trigger for distruction.

I bought the books she used and a book I want you to buy : FM and Chronic Myofascial Pain, a survival manual; by, Dr Devin Starlanyl and Copeland. 19.99 Amazon.com

Then my doc retired! Crap, I thought this is it...I will not be able to keep up the fight...and I met Dr Li, she was even better in some ways. Cymbalta near killed me and I am on Tramadol and you need to watch your seratonin level.

Dr Li, talked me into a small (very smalll dose of Savella) It increases norepinephrine 3 times that of seratonin. These are brain chemicals for pain and comfort. It was the bow on the box!

You need a new doc, a better fit to help you. Or if this guy is really wanting to help....he needs to get educated in the mix of things we do to be better.

Tricks for you. On the right top look under DR P for his medical guidance and humor in there, he is also a patient and a good fit for us. He has written books that will help understand the situation.

On the right under resources is the MEMBERS TOOLBOX. (Located in a post of Caprice our moderator, a link)

Look in it, it is long now but when i placed it it was when i felt we needed a place for a newbie to go to see first and quick how to get better then they are now. When you first join you are serching for help and man you hit the jackpot here...

THIS IS THE POWERBALL of support boards.

I had my plan to leave and when my husband found out about it...he dragged me to a physiatrist who took me even more to another level of understanding my body.....I got somewhat better. I didn't really want to leave but it was so bad. I cried all the time.

Now "ON my birthday God sent me a granddaughter" someone in the crowd said..."GOD doesn't make mistakes, he is telling you something..................." WELL it opened my eyes to my place in the world.

So now I say to you. You have a place and a need in this world, your children are precious lives that will be forever changed without you. Kids don't care if the house is clean or that you offer them everything in the store. They just want LOVE and your time.....well they are free*. Your children also offer you a medicine called distraction that is a pain med that is FREE.

Asking for some help in the house and making it fun for them can lift a bit of burdeon for you . I never had help and until my husband understaood our invisible disease I had no champion in my corner to help me, the boys made fun of me all the time and pushed the envelope all the time.

So, I want you to know that YOU MATTER in life, in ways you don't understand right now. You need help, even if you choose a physciatrist to elevate the brain chemistry to get you better, I would love to see you try savella ask your doc...just the 12.5mg tablet and see how that goes..you can always increase it. Hydration with water is also so big. It changed alot for me. I was also told to eat things that are green, they are antioxidants and to this day..I am primarily green. GREEN IS MEAN said the doc!

You are here and we are open 24/7 so keep posting and tell us where you are at........there is a light there, just a bit off the distance........ Joy can come into your life again.

Remember though this disease does not go away and the tools and tricks and meds we use is to turn down the pain to have a life. Painfree is not in the picture.

You can do this I believe in you......everyone has a fight in them, you just need to know there are other like you. read the toolbox and the other members stories.

Hugs from me, Nancy B
 
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painfullyexhausted responded:
Hello again. I'm not trying to be a stalker or anything, I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. I know it's only been a couple of days but I didn't see anything from you. I hope you read what others had to say, it's very helpful, even if it's just to say "I understand". These people here do care and even though we all don't actually know each other, we are all friends.

This is a great place to vent and learn how to cope. FM is such a difficult enemy to face alone so coping skills are highly recommended. There was a book mentioned that has been helpful and I read it when it was recommended to me. Very valuable information. Also, "Living with Fibromyalgia" is a good one as well. Gather as much info as you can, it's very helpful to know what to expect and know that you are not crazy.

There are so many things to know about FM and not two people are the same with what they experience. I realize that you've been dealing with this for many years and so have I (and probably the majority of our friends here) but it's good to gather as much knowledge and support that you can.

You have been on my mind and I worry about you and what your going through. It's not easy. I really hope you have some kind of support system and remember there are a lot of people here that can help you as well. Hearing someone else say what I've said a thousand times put things in perspective for me. It makes me realize how precious life is and how important my family is to me. I'm not saying that WOW ! Life is perfect now ! Or man, I'm pain free, or that I will never feel this way again but it did make me stop and think about how important I AM to my family. They need me no matter how messed up I am lol.

Please remember that you are not alone. I know these are just words from someone that you don't know but I truly do care. It makes me feel better, mentally, to help people and I'm not focused on poor lil 'ol me for a while. It's ok to feel the way you do, It can't be normal not to feel this way at some point in time. For god sakes, your living with chronic pain and trying to raise children and be the perfect mother. Not too many people can raise children let alone do it in the condition your in. Give yourself some credit. You've gone this far and your babies are ok, they will continue to be ok. Nobody is perfect, you're not a failure. The mere fact that you are questioning yourself about being a failure is proof that your not. If you didn't care, this thought would never have crossed your mind. Obviously your children come first so I think your doing a great job

Take the advise of the gal that told us about all the cool things she did with her children while she was in bed. Those are the things that they'll remember. 30 minutes of reading, coloring, doing crafts or watching movies means a lot to kids and you don't have to be up and moving around. Start journals with them or scrapbooking. You can spend hours, several times a week, doing this and think of the memories they'll have. Go to "Pintrest.com", there are endless, cheap craft ideas there. The cool thing is, it definitely takes your mind off of things for a bit and you certainly need that.

Please let us all know how you are doing, we do care. Let us know if we can help in anyway. You can vent or just say "hey".

You are in my thoughts, please take care and keep your chin up. I know how depressing this miserable mystery can be but you can beat it. Laugh at ridiculous things, smile at beautiful things and cry when it's just too much, but never give up. Your babies need you.

Best of luck.....
 
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dgoodw83 responded:
you should look up the meds and see if they can be taken together and bring it to your doctors attention if they can be. you should talk to someone about your depression because if u are feeling like death is the right thing then u have hit ur low, but u should also think about your children and who would be there to take care of them when u are gone. plzz seek help and i promise u it will make u feel better.

big hugs to u and don't
let fibro get the best of u
u get the best of it!!!
 
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rickie3grandsons replied to dgoodw83's response:
I CAN REALLY RELATE TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING then I look at tv and see some shows showing kids with cancer and living each day with the last breathe of life and think I am 55 and wish I could switch my life with them !It is very hard esp when no one understands what we are all going through I told my husband of 34 yrs if I had a wish it would not be for the winning lotto ticket but to have my life back and I mean that from the bottom of my heart .
stay in touch and gentle hugs ..always here if you need to talk
 
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Anon_2912 replied to rickie3grandsons's response:
I don't whine or complain, because there is and always will be someone far worse than I am....

I am still above ground....

Or as one of my good co-workers used to say, "I could complain but who would listen"..

Sadly co-worker passed away a month ago from cancer. So yeah, I don't dare complain...


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