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Mot so good a morning
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booch007 posted:
Morning fmily,

I just had to share the disappointment I am dealing with. I have done too much and created the magic in the house and I find out last night at my S I L 's that my grandchildren and newly married son have no plans to be at my house for Christmas Eve............

I sat last night saying to myself...CRAP why didi I do all this? The elders don't care about the music boxes or the santa collection...the displays of snow babies...they are into the food..and wine. There is no Kris Kringle again this year as per the generation who took it from me and is running it. Voted out by the same .

I asked my DIL if she could bring the girls this next weekend to go over the things I placed so carefully for them to see*. I wanted memories from Nana's.. "of Nana's"

You only get what they "give".

I hurt so much right now in body and now in spirit..the son#2 didn't say to me he wasn't coming the DIL's made this decision...I am at their bequest......the wife rules I guess.

They said they would be here Christmas...in the evening as DIL#2 is with her Dad for brunch on Christmas as a tradition...

My heart is broken. I also know after the Eve ordeal I have little left to do an evening after and to clean up and start again is painful just to think of......and work the next day to follow.

I had no words to say, only...OK I will see you all then. They have no idea what it did to me.

I did sit and talk to myself last night saying "you needed the magic in the house" You love doing this and it is special. A place that other grew up remembering as a haven of love and magic......

Well, I needed*** to dump this here. A broken heart is not something you bring around with you. You guys know the effort we put out to do this stuff and the reprocussion of the same .

That's it. Up early with high pain next to me.....waiting for meds, I am using a very low Pandora Oldies on the phone to aid my meds to distract me. HOT shower and getting better....lots to do at work today so that should put me over the top of this tunnel I am in.

The patients always put MY life in perspective.
Seems almost selfish to be whining about this, when the Island lost everything and have no trees and santas to put up....I am lucky, blessed and have a plethora of gifts. I will get out of this hurt soon.....................

Hugs and thanks for listening, Nancy B
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angelswife responded:
((((HUGS)))) I'm sorry. I know my words won't fix it, but I'm here to listen. I've been there in different ways and I know how the disappointment feels. XOXO
 
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Anon_2912 responded:
So they will be at your house Xmas evening right? That sounds good.

I am a DIL so if your son did not say anything on plans, then DIL made the plans since he never did.

I am the same way with my husband, if he does not tell me anything about plans, then I make the plans with my family. I don't rule the house we both share in decisions, however, he is a guy, so he will not think of the "holiday" gatherings.

It is not that I don't love his family, but they never set a date until the very last minute. For the longest time we always went to my side of the family for the holidays then to his the day after. The reason was because everytime I would ask him about what his family plans were, he never knew or bothered to find out, so I would always committ to my side.Now he had the option of going to his side if I had already committed to my side. However, my side makes plans for the following year at the present gathering. Who ever has to host it has a year in advance to get ready for it...It has worked out well my huge family. I have 15 sibilings....

Now in the last 5 yrs, his family has made plans with dates, so we have been going to his side, then my side.

Now what you can do for future holidays is set a day & when you will host Thanks/Xmas. And let your son know..

He is a guy so he will leave it up to his wife. Your DIL just made choice if he never spoke up. My husband will tell me if we are going to attend his side so I know not to make plans with my family.

This Xmas, my side will have it on Dec 25, I will host Xmas for my husbands side on Dec 23 at our house.

Now if you want to have something for say Easter, then plan it now and let your son & DIL know...when they come over for Xmas.
 
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fibrosarah responded:
Aahh Nancy, gentle hugs to you. I know you are a busy lady, and put your heart and soul and all your love into every holiday and celebration, as well as baking doing, etc. for the store.

Sometimes, as our generation knows, the young'ens tend to do things different. maybe not your sons, but not knowing what the traditions of the wives are, it can hurt.

I had a little disappointment the other day. It was my BD, and my son says how about I take you to dinner, not much I can buy you, you buy it all yourself. So I said, "thats fine"

Then I think, wonder what he does for his Gf's BD? LOL But he does a lot for me thru out the year, yard work, maintenance things, etc.

So for now, enjoy "your magic" and I will say a prayer you get to see the grand daughters next weekend, or before Christmas. Have you been able to talk to your son yet?

Blessings to you in all you do for those lovely little babies you have.
 
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dollbug responded:
Nana B...I am so sorry but I know how you feel....just let it *roll off your back*....I am sure no one meant to hurt your feelings....

It is not worth the stress though....trust me when I say this....things happen when you have adult children and in laws....I found out the hard way that it is just not worth worrying about.

It is what it is....do what you can and forget the rest....

Just be thankful that you at least get to see your grandbabies when you can.


Take care.


MiMi

IN GOD WE TRUST....MAY GOD BLESS AND GUIDE AMERICA....

My personal exchanges are Vitamin D and Pain and Wrath of the Dragon....if you care to visit..


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