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Feeling so stressed out.....
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crystalgreeneyes posted:
We are not really sure what we are doing for the holidays this year. Usually we go to my mother in law's, however, at 85 and with poor health she is likely not going to be able to cater to everyone this time. When discussing it with my husband, I told him that I didn't feel up to it myself because with 10 people, there's a lot of work involved and some staying over etc. He just gave this huge exasperated sigh and started shaking his head as if this was some news to him.
Why does this just keep happening? What am I doing wrong in that I can't seem to get anyone to understand what is going on?
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Dibug69 responded:
Hi Crystal,

Sorry you are struggling with these Holiday issues. I can relate with somewhat of your situation. I end up having to do most of the entertaining too. This year we are flying to Florida with the whole family for a week long Disney. So exhaustion and pain will be my Holiday. So as giving you any helpful hints I cannot. All I can say is my heart goes out to you. I will send good vibes your way.

Best of luck Fibro Friend. You are not alone.
 
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Anon_2912 responded:
Totally understand you situation. We are having Xmas for my husbands side this year. There at least 20 people.

My husband travels due to his job, so he really can't do anything I need done, BUT, he does things when he can and if he is home. I also work 8-5pm, so it won't be an easy task.

My husband usually does the errands of what needs to be bought (decorations) during the day IF he is home. Xmas decorations from the dollar store...

I do the decorating of the house. However, we made it easy. We are having it catered. Or we are ordering the meal & picking it up. It won't be the traditional Xmas meal either. We are having fajitas & tamales....Easy enough, NO cooking...

Those attending are asked to bring a dessert & drinks. We are using paper plate so no dishes either...

Gifts are only given to kids attending ONLY & they must be 18 & under and in school...The adults play the "white elephant", (something in our house we don't need or use), NOTHING is bought for that.

It may not be the glamours Xmas you see in magazines, BUT hey, we are all together & that is what counts. Yes,I will be doubling up on the medications ....
 
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foreversore responded:
Hi, Crystal. I am so sorry that your husband is still giving you grief over this. I wish there were more that I could do to help you help him understand. Will he go to your next appointment with you? That way he has a chance to talk to your doctor and get a lot of his questions/concerns answered.

As for the holidays, its just me, my hubby and my 10 year old. As we do for all holidays we have invited over some friends that have no where else to go to celebrate. It takes me 2 days to do all of the cooking/baking. My daughter and hubby help by doing the clean up and my hubby does the heavy lifting i.e. the ham, turkey etc. If it is possible to get your family to pull together in the holiday spirit and help you out with things here and there it may be doable. I'm not saying it wont exhaust you or cause you more pain because if you are like me it will. I just take what extra meds I can and smile and bear it. Once the guests leave I am in bed on my heated mattress pad getting some sleep while the other 2 are putting away leftovers and doing what little dishes there are as we use disposable plates, cups and silverware. The only dishes are serving dishes (some of those are disposable too).

For your sake I hope your family will rally around you and work together to make this a nice and memorable holiday for you all. Hugs to you.
 
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crystalgreeneyes replied to foreversore's response:
You are so very kind and I appreciate your concern. Unfortunately, there is no family to rally around me - my husband and I are barely talking and my daughter is living and enjoying her life which she should be but I have talked here before about how she never helps me around the house. I have done so much to try and make them understand but I must be doing something wrong because they just don't. I haven't yet found anything that doesn't make me incredibly ill, for the pain and I all I take is a sleeping pill and some anti-anxiety medication. I saw the rheumatologist yesterday (3rd time) and I was asking about diet nutrition and supplements etc. I sensed that she had already ended the 15 min. appt. but I continued to ask questions and then suddenly she was full of info about foods to avoid and what vitamins I should take?? I don't really understand why she didn't talk about this on my first appt. when she diagnosed me. I am very sensitive to drugs as well as some foods, additives, etc. I am at a point where I barely know what to eat and I have lost so much weight. I am very frightened because I can't see a future for myself.
I wish you the best as well. You have written such thoughtful messages to me before. Thank you.
 
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booch007 responded:
Oh I hear you this year.

For my whole marriage I have done Christmas eve with my husbands family and it has gotten bigger and bigger as it has grown. 35-40 people is the number I deal with.

Whether you are cleaning the house for four or forty it is still the same and the cooking is in a bigger pot. BUT this year I am counting my spoons (spoon theory) really closely and I don't think I can do it.... I am fearful and when I said this to DH he also took a sigh and gave me a "bad feeling".

Just to decorate what I did near killed me and I am sure it pushed this eye into the mess I am in.

No one gets this but us. We do what we can, push when we can and struggle with the left over. I hope you are able to have some holiday and a joyous one. Anyone else able to lift the gaunlet and do it?? Hint it out?

I am alone 90% of the time and there are tables to set and chairs to place....it is more then just cooking and shopping and carrying the foods.....I also have a hard time with asking for help alot* (my issue). The letting go of this disease..

Well, I hope you have a plan for the holiday and it is a compromise for all...a pot luck? maybe OUT?

All my best, Nancy B


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