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Daughter with FM ???
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PainfullyExhausted posted:
I've been dealing with FM for approximately 15 yrs, maybe longer because I was diagnosed when I was young so I think I just coped better but had issues for a while. I was involve in competition dance (tap, jazz, and ballet), gymnastics and played sports. I injured my back a few times and was later told that the ligaments in my body were "stretched out" therefore didn't have the support I needed to keep aches and pains away. MRI/CT and xrays were all normal. Had a horrible labor and delivery with my son and ended up with a fracture pelvic bone, broken tailbone, and wks of physical therapy due to being in stirrups too long. After my daughter was born is when my sleeping issues started and and the aches and pains were more noticeable.

Fast forward to present. My daughter is an athlete and is a mini me. Over the last few yrs she has had complaints of back pain, with huge knots in her back. Had mono a few yrs back and now has issues several times a yr with being wiped out, sleeps as much as she can but is so active she doesn't want to miss anything. She is now complaining of her ribs hurting and has knots on them as well. (One of my FM issues). It's so painful. It goes around to her back, just like mine. She also has knee pain and several other complaints that are similar to one with FM.

I don't want to mention FM to her because she has watched what I go through for as long as she's been alive and this may freak her out. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can handle this without saying the obvious ? She's a junior in high school and I want her to do everything she wants and to enjoy her life before the real world slaps her in the face. Teenagers have enough to deal with so I don't want her to feel "abnormal". She is such a great kid, so understanding of what I deal with but I'm not sure she can handle this. She goes to a career center and is in the Physical Therapy program and is doing so good. Straight A's, perfect attendance, and has had several awards for being a good student. Until she went there this yr, she hated school, grades where not great, and could care less if she was there. She goes when she is wiped out, or not feeling well and I feel horrible for her. I hardly ever miss work and maybe she realizes that she too needs to suck it up sometimes.

I don't want to put too much pressure on her but I also don't want to see her go through this, it breaks my heart. Most days she doesn't get home until 9 or 10 because of sports so it's hard for her to rest the way she should. I stay on her about eating right but again she's a teenager and constantly running. I just don't know what I should do, it's like having your cake and eating it too. She knows a lot about FM because I made her learn about it so she'd have a better understanding of why I can't do everything and why I'm always wiped out and don't feel well. She later did a report on this for Health class, I thought that was sweet but I'm her momma.

Just need some advice please.

Thank you for listening !
9 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???I've been dealing with FM for approximately 15 yrs, maybe longer because I was diagnosed when I was young so I think I just coped better but had issues for a while. I was involve in competition dance (tap, jazz, and ballet), gymnastics and played sports. I injured my back a few times and was later told that the ligaments in my body were "stretched out" therefore didn't have the support I needed to keep aches and pains away. MRI/CT and xrays were all normal. Had a horrible labor and delivery with my son and ended up with a fracture pelvic bone, broken tailbone, and wks of physical therapy due to being in stirrups too long. After my daughter was born is when my sleeping issues started and and the aches and pains were more noticeable. <br><br>Fast forward to present. My daughter is an athlete and is a mini me. Over the last few yrs she has had complaints of back pain, with huge knots in her back. Had mono a few yrs back and now has issues several times a yr with being wiped out, sleeps as much as she can but is so active she doesn't want to miss anything. She is now complaining of her ribs hurting and has knots on them as well. (One of my FM issues). It's so painful. It goes around to her back, just like mine. She also has knee pain and several other complaints that are similar to one with FM. <br><br>I don't want to mention FM to her because she has watched what I go through for as long as she's been alive and this may freak her out. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can handle this without saying the obvious ? She's a junior in high school and I want her to do everything she wants and to enjoy her life before the real world slaps her in the face. Teenagers have enough to deal with so I don't want her to feel "abnormal". She is such a great kid, so understanding of what I deal with but I'm not sure she can handle this. She goes to a career center and is in the Physical Therapy program and is doing so good. Straight A's, perfect attendance, and has had several awards for being a good student. Until she went there this yr, she hated school, grades where not great, and could care less if she was there. She goes when she is wiped out, or not feeling well and I feel horrible for her. I hardly ever miss work and maybe she realizes that she too needs to suck it up sometimes. <br><br>I don't want to put too much pressure on her but I also don't want to see her go through this, it breaks my heart. Most days she doesn't get home until 9 or 10 because of sports so it's hard for her to rest the way she should. I stay on her about eating right but again she's a teenager and constantly running. I just don't know what I should do, it's like having your cake and eating it too. She knows a lot about FM because I made her learn about it so she'd have a better understanding of why I can't do everything and why I'm always wiped out and don't feel well. She later did a report on this for Health class, I thought that was sweet but I'm her momma. <br><br>Just need some advice please. <br><br>Thank you for listening !
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Dollbug responded:
Hello....MiMi in NC....do you think she has an idea about it being the same health issue that you have? I would think she has probably already thought about it anyway....perhaps she has not mention it to you but I would think that she just might soon ask you about it....and when she does, I would suggest then that she talk to the doctor about what she is feeling...as you already know there is absolutely nothing that you can do to prevent it from being the wrath of the dragon...but you can be there to support her....and help her with good *tools and tips*....

I do hope that both of you have gotten your Vitamin D level checked....which is really important to a lot of people these days....

As you probably already know she will not be able to always just *suck it up*....although I think, for the most part, we FMers try to do just this, instead of learning to to *dance with the dragon, as Nana B states....instead of *draggin the dragon*....hopefully she will figure this out and with your help, it will not take her long to do so..

Take care and good luck...


MiMi
IN GOD WE TRUST....MAY GOD BLESS AND GUIDE AMERICA....

My personal exchanges are Vitamin D and Pain and Wrath of the Dragon....if you care to visit..
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???<b>Hello....MiMi in NC....do you think she has an idea about it being the same health issue that you have? I would think she has probably already thought about it anyway....perhaps she has not mention it to you but I would think that she just might soon ask you about it....and when she does, I would suggest then that she talk to the doctor about what she is feeling...as you already know there is absolutely nothing that you can do to prevent it from being the wrath of the dragon...but you can be there to support her....and help her with good *tools and tips*....</b><br /><b></b> <br /><b>I do hope that both of you have gotten your Vitamin D level checked....which is really important to a lot of people these days....</b><br /><b></b> <br /><b>As you probably already know she will not be able to always just *suck it up*....although I think, for the most part, we FMers try to do just this, instead of learning to to *dance with the dragon, as Nana B states....instead of *draggin the dragon*....hopefully she will figure this out and with your help, it will not take her long to do so..</b><br /><b></b> <br /><b>Take care and good luck...</b><br /><b></b> <br /><b></b> <br /><b>MiMi </b>
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xperky responded:
I might take her to the doctor. She might have a simple anemia, or other problem that needs treatment. It would be so wonderful if she did NOT have FM.

In any case, I'm glad she is so active despite the fatigue. That's a good sign.
With Compassion,
Margaret
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???I might take her to the doctor. She might have a simple anemia, or other problem that needs treatment. It would be so wonderful if she did NOT have FM.<br /> <br />In any case, I'm glad she is so active despite the fatigue. That's a good sign.
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PainfullyExhausted replied to Dollbug's response:
Thank you, MiMi, for taking time to respond. I guess I never thought about the fact that she just hasn't brought this up to me. Maybe she knows I'll make rules about resting more and I'll be on her case since that's what I normally do when she's not feeling well. I should just talk to her about it so we can get a good system down so she knows when to take it easy or whatnot. Perhaps I should make an appointment with her pediatrician.

I hate to put a label on her at such a young age but need to get to the bottom of this. Again, I really appreciate your advice.

Have a good evening !
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???Thank you, MiMi, for taking time to respond. I guess I never thought about the fact that she just hasn't brought this up to me. Maybe she knows I'll make rules about resting more and I'll be on her case since that's what I normally do when she's not feeling well. I should just talk to her about it so we can get a good system down so she knows when to take it easy or whatnot. Perhaps I should make an appointment with her pediatrician. <br><br>I hate to put a label on her at such a young age but need to get to the bottom of this. Again, I really appreciate your advice. <br><br>Have a good evening !
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PainfullyExhausted replied to xperky's response:
Thank you, Margaret, for your input. I think your right on making an appointment with her pediatrician and having some labs or whatnot. I pray that she doesn't have to deal with this for the rest of her life.

Thanks again, have a good evening.
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???Thank you, Margaret, for your input. I think your right on making an appointment with her pediatrician and having some labs or whatnot. I pray that she doesn't have to deal with this for the rest of her life. <br><br>Thanks again, have a good evening.
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Booch007 responded:
Good morning,

I am sure if she did any reading on this she already knows there is a hereditary part to this. .

Not doing anything is not doing her any good, right?

Maybe massages can help. Make sure she gets nice warm showers for the muscles and keep her hydrated.....these are all good for an athlete anyway.....

The pediatrician knows of your situation? Maybe you should call ahead or send a post letter to give him a heads up of concerns....and maybe your wanting to not scare you daughter.
Communication is big. We get many wives who "rat" out their husbands and we take it from there to get to the truth......

Many a woman has saved their husband by bringing them in.

So, talk to the pediatrician ahead of time....a mothers concern and vision is so important. Good luck, Nancy B
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???Good morning,<br /> <br />I am sure if she did any reading on this she already knows there is a hereditary part to this. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/frown.gif" align="top" border="0">.<br /> <br />Not doing anything is not doing her any good, right? <br /> <br />Maybe massages can help. Make sure she gets nice warm showers for the muscles and keep her hydrated.....these are all good for an athlete anyway.....<br /> <br />The pediatrician knows of your situation? Maybe you should call ahead or send a post letter to give him a heads up of concerns....and maybe your wanting to not scare you daughter.<br />Communication is big. We get many wives who "rat" out their husbands and we take it from there to get to the truth......<br /> <br />Many a woman has saved their husband by bringing them in.<br /> <br />So, talk to the pediatrician ahead of time....a mothers concern and vision is so important. Good luck, Nancy B
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Anon_10089 replied to Booch007's response:
Hello-

I believe I had undiagnosed FM throughout my childhood and teen years. I struggled with bouts of fatigue and pain, especially back pain. My biggest issue, that according to my mom I've had since I was a baby, was not sleeping well. But, like your daughter, I was active and otherwise had a normal life.

I am glad I had a fun and normal teenage experience. However, now I wish we had been more educated about FM. I think that if I had gotten better quality sleep and some pain control then, I wouldn't be so bad off now.

Plus, I also wish I had planned better when it came to a job and career. I am fortunate now to have a husband who makes okay money and I have a low stress part-time job. But into my twenties it became obvious that there was no way I could have had a high pressure, high energy career. I couldn't push myself like I could when I was a teenager.

I think there's a good balance. I think it's awesome that your daughter has not let the problems she does have stop her. But there is a reality to FM and our bodies will make us face that reality at some point. Like others have said, it's probably good to get her blood work done to rule out other things. Since she's had mono, have you had her checked for the Epstein-Barr virus? It seems like that can be a strong link to having FM or chronic fatigue later in life.

Hopefully the outcomes of any tests wouldn't change her life. But giving her an early understanding of pacing and getting good rest might save her some pain (physical/emotional) in the future.
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???Hello-<br /> <br />I believe I had undiagnosed FM throughout my childhood and teen years. I struggled with bouts of fatigue and pain, especially back pain. My biggest issue, that according to my mom I've had since I was a baby, was not sleeping well. But, like your daughter, I was active and otherwise had a normal life. <br /> <br />I am glad I had a fun and normal teenage experience. However, now I wish we had been more educated about FM. I think that if I had gotten better quality sleep and some pain control then, I wouldn't be so bad off now. <br /> <br />Plus, I also wish I had planned better when it came to a job and career. I am fortunate now to have a husband who makes okay money and I have a low stress part-time job. But into my twenties it became obvious that there was no way I could have had a high pressure, high energy career. I couldn't push myself like I could when I was a teenager.<br /> <br />I think there's a good balance. I think it's awesome that your daughter has not let the problems she does have stop her. But there is a reality to FM and our bodies will make us face that reality at some point. Like others have said, it's probably good to get her blood work done to rule out other things. Since she's had mono, have you had her checked for the Epstein-Barr virus? It seems like that can be a strong link to having FM or chronic fatigue later in life. <br /> <br />Hopefully the outcomes of any tests wouldn't change her life. But giving her an early understanding of pacing and getting good rest might save her some pain (physical/emotional) in the future.
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PainfullyExhausted replied to Booch007's response:
Great idea Nancy, thank you. As far as the hereditary thing, I think she probably thinks of FM as an "old persons" condition because anyone over 25 is old to a teenager lol but good point.

I hound her about keeping hydrated because of sports and she does well. I think recently she realized why I always tell her to go soak in the tub because she is doing that more on her own. She may be testing me to see if I'll confirm her thoughts of what's going on but it's so hard to tell her because I don't want her to have this to face but its is better to get a grip on things now. Maybe it's something else, I sincerely hope so but to be fair I need to get an appt.

Thank you for your help !
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???Great idea Nancy, thank you. As far as the hereditary thing, I think she probably thinks of FM as an "old persons" condition because anyone over 25 is old to a teenager lol but good point. <br><br>I hound her about keeping hydrated because of sports and she does well. I think recently she realized why I always tell her to go soak in the tub because she is doing that more on her own. She may be testing me to see if I'll confirm her thoughts of what's going on but it's so hard to tell her because I don't want her to have this to face but its is better to get a grip on things now. Maybe it's something else, I sincerely hope so but to be fair I need to get an appt.<br><br>Thank you for your help !
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PainfullyExhausted replied to Anon_10089's response:
Thank you so much for your input ! I totally see it in a different way now. She, as well, has never been able to sleep. From the day she was born she's been up and down all night and is probably the reason my sleeping habits got crazy.

Having this knowledge that you shared puts a perspective on things for me now. We need to get to the bottom of this so if it's FM then we can prepare for the future. I never thought of it that way. If I knew what was in store for me I certainly would have done things differently like you mentioned...brilliant ! Why didn't I think of that..wow.

Like Nancy B. mentioned, her Pediatrician needs to know her family history so she knows how to approach this. I will definitely get an appt scheduled.

Thank you so much !
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???Thank you so much for your input ! I totally see it in a different way now. She, as well, has never been able to sleep. From the day she was born she's been up and down all night and is probably the reason my sleeping habits got crazy. <br><br>Having this knowledge that you shared puts a perspective on things for me now. We need to get to the bottom of this so if it's FM then we can prepare for the future. I never thought of it that way. If I knew what was in store for me I certainly would have done things differently like you mentioned...brilliant ! Why didn't I think of that..wow. <br><br>Like Nancy B. mentioned, her Pediatrician needs to know her family history so she knows how to approach this. I will definitely get an appt scheduled. <br><br>Thank you so much !
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uschi66 replied to PainfullyExhausted's response:
Hi I am finding myself in a similar situation. I was diagnosed 2 years ago but must have been suffering with fibro for years and years. My daughter is 19. She's been dealing with back pain, terrible knots in her upperback, sleeplessness, fatigue, pain all over for a good while. As she sees what fibro had done to me (can't work in my job anymore, loving my couch , my pains etc etc I was very reluctant to tell her that I suspect she has it as well. She is a very active person, wants to over-achieve (don't we all??) and has a great bunch of friends. Knowing what teens gave to deal with under normal circumstances, I didn't want to add my fibro suspicion. She had to see a pain specialist two days ago for jaw pain and guess what - he checked her for fibro!! I mentioned that I suffer from it. Now she will see a rheumatologist to confirm the diagnosis. I am glad that she doesn't make a great deal out of it, maybe because she sees that I keep my spirits up (meds help here a bit). Her pain specialist said that young people have a good chance to manage fibro very well, so an early diagnosis is very important. All the best to you both!
Report This| Share this:Daughter with FM ???Hi I am finding myself in a similar situation. I was diagnosed 2 years ago but must have been suffering with fibro for years and years. My daughter is 19. She's been dealing with back pain, terrible knots in her upperback, sleeplessness, fatigue, pain all over for a good while. As she sees what fibro had done to me (can't work in my job anymore, loving my couch <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/wink.gif" align="top" border="0"> , my pains etc etc I was very reluctant to tell her that I suspect she has it as well. She is a very active person, wants to over-achieve (don't we all??) and has a great bunch of friends. Knowing what teens gave to deal with under normal circumstances, I didn't want to add my fibro suspicion. She had to see a pain specialist two days ago for jaw pain and guess what - he checked her for fibro!! I mentioned that I suffer from it. Now she will see a rheumatologist to confirm the diagnosis. I am glad that she doesn't make a great deal out of it, maybe because she sees that I keep my spirits up (meds help here a bit). Her pain specialist said that young people have a good chance to manage fibro very well, so an early diagnosis is very important. All the best to you both!
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