Been in a funk
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foreversore posted:
As some of you have probably noticed I have been in a funk that I can't seem to shake. Between the usual holiday stress and recent events locally, nationally and world wide it just seems to dig in deeper. I sincerely think it is a medication issue and am trying to get in to my doctor as soon as possible. medication issues are all I can come up with to explain it. Many people around the world are is worse shape than I am physically, financially, spiritually and any other way you can think of.

Of course holidays are a stressful time for all of us. I am under my usual stress and its stress I place on myself wanting everything to be just so. My wonderful hubby tries to get me to let the small things go but for me its memories for my children that fuel the things I do but I don't want them to remember the stress so I have been trying to listen to him and cut back on my expectations of myself and things that I think HAVE to be done...a lot of it is unnecessary so I will learn to let it go.

I guess also I am still in the anger stage. I am still angry that I will never again be who I was. I used to be so strong, I never needed any body's help for anything. i could lift, move or clean whatever I wanted and now it takes 3 days to clean one room. It is very frustrating to me. i will be asking for a psych consult so that I can get help in moving past this stage once and for all. I also have a bad habit of internalizing a lot of things. The news these day really gets to me. So much senseless violence and death. Too many people dying due to war, children dying so close to the holidays. All I can think about is the parents and siblings of these children being faced with gifts already wrapped and under the tree that will never be opened or enjoyed. It is utterly heart wrenching. The same day 22 children in China were stabbed and slashed by a madman outside their school. Luckily those children lived but what are they left with but physical and emotional scars that will take them years to overcome. Even in my local area there have been more than the usual number of murders and deadly accidents and non fatal shootings so many more than usual. I can't help but wonder what we as a society are becoming. These things bother me because I am human but do they bother me more than they should? Maybe they do, i don't know.

So the above all explains my funk. I am hoping that therapy and maybe meds will help me out of it for good. Today was better than yesterday but even I don't know yet what tomorrow will bring. My mood swings so frequently i almost wonder if I am bipolar. I guess I will find out as soon as I can get a consult. In the mean time I am hanging in there. there are some good moments in each day I just need to learn to focus on those more and try to let the negative go.

i am so hoping that the rest of you are all doing well and are into the swing of the holiday. I am really trying to find my Christmas spirit and keep it in the forefront for the rest of the holiday season.
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Anon_2912 responded:
Never worry about tomorrow, for all we know it may never come...

Learn to accept you can not control everything or everyone. Focus on your blessings & just pray for everyone else, because that is all we can do.

I know the feeling of all the uglieness going on in the world & we feel guilty for enjoying our life while many can't.

I just constantly talk it out with GOD, in my mind, or out loud. I have to ask for strength spiritually & MENTALLY, because I don't know what else to do & if I could change things in the world I would, but I CAN'T.

I learned a long time ago from my mother, just do what you can when you can. The rest leave it in GODS hands.
 
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franr responded:
Dear forever sore
I am so sorry you are feeling frustrated. I am at this point right now.So many tests and all are negative thank God but some reason my fibro kicked in really bad this time and I too feel upset and frustrated. My doctor now thinks the klonapin I have taking for 18 years is not working and has put me on xanax and night.The rhematologist thiks I ne4ed counseling. I am one of the most normal person's that I know working ,volunteering,and cannotbelieve this has really put a sadness over my life especially now that xmas is coming. I feel helpless.No appetite to boot. Forcing food down.I will try the counseling as he suggestede but I continue to believe there has to be an end at the tunnel and with God's guidance we will get through. Hugs to you. Fran
 
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ctbeth responded:
Hello Dear Eversore,

We miss you on the Pain Management Community!

A few of us who keep in touch by email were wondering how you are. I said that I think you post on the fibro community. I am thankful that I found you so quickly, but saddened to hear that you're having a tough time.

I am in Connecticut, pretty close to Newtown. It is awful! There is a woman (do not know her name or user name) that is on this community that I remember reading once that she lives in my area, too (New Milford). She can attest to the dark cloud of gloom here.

The holidays can be so stressful! Please do not give up hope. The neuro scientists are doing research daily to find ways to help people like we are.

Mostly, I want you to know that I am SURE the people on this community love and value you. You were posting on the PM community but a short time, and three of us were thinking about you today.

Please take one-day at a time.

Please know that the holidays can be stressful for everyone, not just those of us who live with pain.

Please know that you are of a great value, just the way you are- and I only know you by a few discussions and I already think you're special.

You are special and the people of this community are so close and loving toward each other; my BFF posts here (fibro) and she tells me of the loving support you have for each other. This is a special gift from God!

Let us all make an extra effort to tell others how much we need each other.

Please stop by the "other" community and let us know how you are.

I wish I knew your first name, so I could address you by name.

Do not worry about the "Christmas Spirit". It will be over soon enough. Meanwhile, the true spirit is love: THAT was His message.

With Love,

Beth
 
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xperky responded:
You will be OK. You know how I know? Because you have a good heart that shines through.

It is hard to block out the sadness of recent events, especially during the holidays. All we can really do about it is be the best person we can be, despite a few bad apples.

Hugs your way.
With Compassion,
Margaret
 
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squarley replied to xperky's response:
SO SORRY, ABOUT HOW YOUR FEELING AND YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS, I TO AM IN A FUNK FEELING BAD ,AND DEPRESSED, I LOST MY DAUGHTER AT CHRISTMAS TIME AND I HAVE SO MUCH TROUBLE TRYING TO BE JOYFUL, SO YOUR NOT ALONE ,BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE PULLING FOR YOU, YOU ARE CARED AND LOVED, GOD BLESS AND COMFORTING HUGS, SHIRLEY
 
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foreversore replied to squarley's response:
I'm so sorry about your loss Shirley. Losing a loved one during the holiday season is very difficult and unfortunately affects future holidays. Hugs to you too and many blessings to you and your family this holiday season.

It looks like I wont get to see my doctor until after the holidays. Deep down my mood is still low but I am cheerier on the surface. I know I have much to be thankful for so I am trying to count my blessings and not my woes.

Today was a fairly good day. It was my baby dog's birthday so we got him a few toys as gifts (matching ones for his sister to stop jealousy) made them a special chicken and rice supper with carrot cake for dessert. So I have 2 full and happy baby dogs snuggled up to mom. They are 2 of my blessings and really do bring joy to my life. They are a fair distraction from the pain except for bath time that kills my back but they are worth it.

I am going to chalk it up to needing a med change and in the meantime to look for the good and ignore the bad.