Hi... Hi All... I have been missing in action... Going to get my voice program soon for I was out and missing in action for I couldn't type and couldn't sit up much again... It was a rough week but it is over and I have painful hands and fingers but I am typing and hoping not to make too many mistakes lol...
I got out the other day for a friend of mine came and took me out for supper for Christmas... It was so fun... And tiring lol... But worth it... All the pain was worth it... And I got out to Christmas shop a couple of times just short trips but exhausting...
My neck is doing very bad.. Awaiting injections and having massages in therapy and it does help but doesn't last long... Wish I could take him home with me lol... Then when the bad pain hits again I could put him to work lol... Such a dream lol...
I was married to my dream that massaged me when needed almost all the time... It is close to the yr aniversary to his death... the 26th... I am not doing very good at handling it.. We got married on Christmas Day and 12 yrs later he died the day after Christmas... I am crying non stop almost... Have the greatest desire to be alone and can't be for I have family to make happy... So I hide the tears and put on a Christmas smile and shake my way thru the day... My parkinson's doesn't like playing hide your feelings and stuff the tears... Make believe you are happy for the sake of the little ones... And push yourself out of bed swollen neck or not... So I jerk and shake thru out my day and night...
Yet... I will do this and will have a Christmas with my family... My DH would want that... Yet he understands for he is the one person in my life that I could be the real me around and be accepted... He was a lot to me... My best friend... My confidant... My lover... My All... And so much like me living the life of chronic pain himself...
I am sorry I don't want to bring down your Christmas spirit... I never want to bring you down... I just wanted to point out I had a beautiful... unconditional love... truely grand Christmas gift... And though I miss him dearly our memories and wonderful love fill my heart more then my sorrow rhis dear Christmas...
I hope you all have a womderful Christmas Eve and Chritmas... And if I become missing in action again... Have a wonderful New Years... My health is very disruptive right now and I have to accept a lot and rest a lot... And Pace Pace Pace LOL... I have all my presents bought and wrapped... should clean my bedroom but that shall wait for perhaps another New Year... LOL...
Thanks for being here... I would like to say that my thing that I am writing for you is done and I will post it for a Christmas present but I can't say so... Due to my illnesses it slowed down... And I want it to be perfect... For you deserve the best I have to offer... So Please be patient with me for writers are so utterly weird at times about their writings... lol... At least this one is... Very Weird LOL...
Take Care... Love... Jan/Dakota