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Truly don't know what to do...in pain and alone
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An_249675 posted:
I am alone in my house with 2 people today. My husband and my daughter. I keep going over and over in my mind about what I should do but I don't know where to turn.
Yesterday, my husband and I were going to go to a movie and for a bite to eat after. I really was in a lot of pain but I wanted to try and get out. We got to the cinema and he asked where he should park and then proceeded to park very far away. I suggested that we move to the other side (closer for me because I can't walk far and it's cold) When I told him it was a bit far he exploded and I just sat there in stunned silence for a minute. Then he starting yelling, " answer me, answer me, what do you want me to do"? I guess it has been coming but I couldn't take it anymore and I basically just lost it. I told him to stop. I was trying to tell him how alone I felt, how I had no one to help me, no one to support me, no one would go to the dr. with me, that I was in pain all the time and that I have no assistance whatsoever. That I have tried a dozen medications ... probably a lot of things left out but he didn't say a word just drove home. He is just sitting on the sofa with his back turned to me all day and hasn't said a word. My daughter came home and went to her room and barely spoke.
I can barely believe that I am sitting here in this place where no one cares. I don't see any point to this. I have been thinking of going to the hospital because I do know I am depressed. I can't seem to get past a week or even 2 of anti-depressants because they make me feel so ill.
My doc. has told me he doesn't know what to do??
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xperky responded:
So sorry you had a big argument. It feels awful when we are mad at one another. Hopefully he heard a few of the things you were saying.

It is not healthy to feel "stuck" in a place. I think it is helpful in times like these, to seek a counselor to ask for opinions on how to handle your feelings and the situation.

Hugs sent your way. I truely hope the new year will find you in a warm and loving environment.
With Compassion,
Margaret
 
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katmandulou responded:
AN_249675:
I'm sorry you had the meltdown, but I've have certainly been there. DH parks on the opposite side of the planet and I don't have the strength. We have a deal - when I feel icky and need to get out, I tell him how I'm feeling and he drops me at the door of wherever we're going. Sometimes that means I can get a table at a restaurant and wait there.

Try talking to him now that it's over. Let him know that you were feeling awful, and what he could have done to make it better.

It looks like you're new here, so check out the resources for you in the right-hand column. Also check out http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/ . There are some good tips for us, and you have to check out The Spoon Theory - it will help people understand what it's like to be in your body.


Have the best day you can possibly have!
Lou
 
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lb707 replied to katmandulou's response:
I guess I am very fortunate as my DH always parks in the north 40....but he loves to drop me off to get in line for tickets or as Lou says to get a good table.

Many other things it has taken a while for him to come around with. I try a little harder now that I am not working to take care of him. We are older and he is tired and deals with back issues, so I focus on the things important to him and let go of other things. Fortunately he leaves for work and I have the house to myself and can get some rest.

I have gotten more understanding from him by not telling him but letting him see me try to keep up......that's when he says you need to rest. He has offered hire someone to help but with money too tight I resist.

Marriage is work and double that when you are in chronic pain.

lalab


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