One of thee times I am going to do this right... Lost it 3 times... Maybe I need to be more positive but I am having a hard time coping and dealing with going deaf...
I remember thinking when I got my last diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease to go with my many others... "OK... That's about enough now... Can't go much farther..."
MMM... I guess I was wrong... I go in to see a hearing specialist thinking I would hear the usual stop smoking... or you have dirty ears lets clean them... No... I have to hear "Learn sign language..."
I have been back at the drawing board and forced to accept things I truly never wanted to but this one takes the top notch... When they told me I had cancer and this time it wasn't good... I told them lets beat it and we did... When I asked can we beat it the other day... the answer was no... there is no way to cure it... stop it... or fix what it's done... and slowing it down.. maybe lightly with an appropriate hearing aide... one that adjusts to my hearing as I continue to lose it...
Now that sounded so promising... didn't it...
It runs in the family... My Great Grandfather and Grandfather on my Dads side both lost their hearing around my age... and fast... I could hear a year ago... They were the same way... Then suddenly I or We started saying "Huh" a lot... From the time they found out they were going deaf one was deaf in a year and one in 2 years... Wonder where I am at..
I had noticed that I couldn't here people if they were talking behind me... I had to have the TV almost full blast even with surround sound... Iwas saying huh a lot more or slow down I totally missed that... I kept blaming it on the ringing in my ears... Yeh the tinitis that my the stuff killing my nerves in my ears are causing...
I just want to know one thing... When I can't hear the world am I still going to hear this dar-n whistle in my head...??? that would totally suck... I guess I am still feeling sorry for myself so it is hard to accept it... I want to hear the birds sing... My children and Grandchildren laugh... My dog bark... and cry when I fall down... I want to hear music... not feel music... I want to hear Christmas bells... I don't want to forget these sounds... like I have forgot the sound of my dead husbands voice and it has only been a little over a year... actually less then that I had a voice message on my phone until last month that I listened to... It disappeared... I need to accept this and get back to life... I need to get back to searching for help for learning sign language and maybe getting a hearing aid... I don't have the $1.800 laying around and don't want my son using all his taxes to pay for one... He works hard for his family... He deserves his pay backs...
I have talked to someone from the Hearing Loss Association of America... they have a chapter near here... Maybe an hour drive... If I can get to a meeting to meet some of them they might have some ways to help me... so I just need to keep doing the research or get back to it... I have been sleeping for 3 days and nights... Fatigue from somewhere... probably depression... can't get ahold of my counselor... It is hard to get her... but I have to call and redo my appointment with her so I hope to talk to her soon... Maybe I won't need her by the time I talk to her...
Well... best close... Take Care... Love... Jan/Dakota