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    Reaching Out For Help
    TheBoopsterBaker posted:
    So glad I have found this community! I have been searching for weeks of someway to help my dear friend: She is 38, a single mother of 2 young children and has Fibromyalgia. Her pain is severe and frequent; To the point that she lost her job a year ago. Due to the pain, she has not been able to find long-term work. Doing things from home in order to try and make ends meet, just isn't enough. Therefore, she can not afford health insurance and has not seen a doctor or had proper medication in over 6 months! When filing for disability, and was denied. So my question is... What can she do???
    She has tried all other means for pain management. Some seem to work, just not as much as needed. The pain keeps her from being able to even cook for her children. It breaks my heart!!
    Any and all suggestions/ideas are welcome and appreciated.
    BetteK responded:
    Your friend needs to find a Social Security Disability lawyer ASAP. A denial is almost routine. You have to appeal. A lawyer gets a percentage of the back amount due since you first filed and none of the new payments. Since she's getting nothing now, there's nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    In the meantime, is there a way for her to get on Medicaid? Free or low-cost medical care would be a big help. Some of the big pharmaceutical companies offer help with meds, too. Contact the manufacturer of the med she should be on. It may work.

    Your friend is so lucky to have you. Someone who recognizes that this is a real illness even though it is invisible is a godsend.

    Towards better days,

    dakotaspirit1957 responded:
    Hi... Thank you for being there for your friend... You don't know how valuable you are... Your support and love could be what is keeping her finding hope right now...

    Pain is a difficult thing to live with and an even more difficult thing to watch a loved one suffer with the feeling that there is nothing you can do... Your reaching out here and your helping her is marvelous...

    I agree with BetteK get to a SSDisability Lawyer right away... It costs nothing up front... Hopefully it isn't too late to appeal... Even if it is having them refile for her always helps... So let them take over... And do exactly what they say... And don't expect miracles... Just pray for one... lol...

    Also... Read as much as you can about FM... {AK/ fibromyalgia/ AK/ the dragon} We have some information here as you can see and there are other places that are good too...

    First information she is going to need is our "Tool Kit"... Written by our members here to discuss what helps them to deal with FM... This is under "Helpful Tips" to the right but this is the direct URL to it...

    These are 2 places I go to keep in touch with FM and where I went to learn about it...

    Here is an excellent written piece to help you understand the life your friend is now living... It was written by a woman about her life with lupus... However, it so resembles all chronic illnesses that we all sorta borrow it.. With her permission of course...

    The Spoon Theoryby Christine Miserandino

    To be honest wit you... It helped me find a better understanding of myself... I so am glad for that...

    I hope you find the help you and your friend need here... And once again... Thank you for being there for your friend... /she is a very lucky woman... I am sure she knows that...

    Bless you... Take care

    Love... Jan/Dakota
    dollbug responded:
    Hello BB...(for short) and welcome....what a good friend you are, seeking help for someone. So sorry that your friend is having so much to deal with. Dealing with the wrath of the dragon, aka FM, is not an easy thing to do. I am sure she is also very stressed which is not a good thing for us FMers. It is not unusual for the system to deny people for disability. I do hope she appealed and if not, then she needs to reapply again. She can actually do this herself, if she has a computer or perhaps you can help her. Being so young she might have to apply for the SSI instead of the disability, which requires a person having so many credits for is a very long time.

    And she will probably get denied again but it is important that she follow the process and appeal the denial within the timeframe. Our system tries to do anything and everything to keep benefits from people...but if she is unable to work right now then she is entitled to the benefits. There should also be other assistance for her as well, depending upon where she lives, so she should also look into this as well.

    It is important for her to get a doctor a doctor will help her or at least he should help her get the help that she needs. He will also be the one to verify that she is unable to work.

    In the meantime you can do some research for her here and perhaps help her find something that will help her cope better. Be sure to look under the *tips* and *resources*....using a heating pad is good, drinking plenty of water every day and watching what she eats. Using Stopain Spray might also help her. Walmart has some good multi vitamins for around $6...Source One is the name and they come with extra D. Taking a hot shower at night using lavender bath salts to help her body relax is also something else that might help her cope better.

    I hope you will have her join our support system here as I am sure she would learn a lot about what others has learned to help them cope better. It does take time. There are no quick fixes at all, that I am aware of.

    You are a good friend and I am sure you will be blessed for trying to help her cope better.

    Take care and good luck.


    My personal exchanges are Vitamin D and Pain and Wrath of the Dragon....if you care to visit..
    franr responded:
    Thank you for being a good friend. If there is a major medical center near her home maybe she can get an app to see a good Primary MD who can refer her. She may need to see a pharmacologist who can order meds to help her manage pain by prescribing meds for sleep with two children she really needs her rest.This is a smart group of members and they can guide you. in the right direction.If she is qualifies she can get services for help with the children through the local welfare offices or wick depending how old the children are.Let us know how she is doing. Fran
    franr responded:
    I forgot to mention if your friend can get a copy of Dr Devin's Staylands books on Fibromylgia it has much need information and she will see that her pains are for real and not in her head. These books are priceless and they got me tthrough this major flare .I had then tucked away and reread them many times.Let us know how things go. Dr Staryland also has fibro.
    katmandulou responded:
    Hi and Welcome! I'm happy to meet someone who is trying to help someone else through this journey.

    Does she have access to a computer? This is a wonderful group, very helpful and funny when we need to be. There' are tons of resources on the 'net, and we're all willing to share

    There are some good resources in the right-hand column. Also check out . It has good tips, and you have to check out The Spoon Theory - it will help you explain to people what it's like to be in her body.

    Ask her if her doc had tested her for a Vitamin D deficiency. Sounds simple, but we who live in the northern hemisphere are usually lacking in D.

    Have the best day you can possibly have,

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