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    explaining FM etc.
    Wolfsong452 posted:
    try explaining FM to a ex-marine MP,

    he just does't get it. even though he's been up close having to deal with me having mutiple flare up's and mood swings, muscle spasms, depression and all the other assorted things that come with FM or just being a normal 55 year old woman going thru menopause and possible PMS.

    poor guy!

    hope I don't scare him away. I try to make up for the bad days by being extra attentive to him when I'm able.

    he's loving it when that happens.

    spoiled brat!
    missist responded:
    so understand this. Mine is not an ex Marine--but he is a big strong guy who is a bit of a viking. He comes from a line of strong and ambitious, even aggressive persons. Over many years he has had a lot of time to figure this all out, and yet he still doesn't seem to quite get it. For instance he wanted me to handle our lawn care here since he is away most of the time. I cannot mow a steep hill and large yard front & back, especially in South Carolina where in a couple weeks will be at least in the 80s and probably in the 90s for many months with very high humidity as well. Hire a lawn service? Oh my no.

    I just shake my head at him, I do have someone cut my lawn as do many of my healthy neighbors. Crazy Viking.
    BetteK replied to missist's response:
    Back in the day, I did it all. I made our bread, churned our butter, cared for our 1/2 acre of garden, canned and froze for the winter, and mowed the yard. This was in that short period when the boys were in nursery school, kindergarden, and the early elementary grades.

    Then, the fibro got worse, I got older, the tasks got to be too much. Luckily, I had the fortitude to find student aid, begin college, get my teaching credentials, and work for 11 years.
    Without this effort, we would have lost our farm--the home we had worked so hard to keep.

    On good days, I make dinner. On bad days, my big, strong man does. We've survived his time in Viet Nam, early marriage, moving 300 miles to our farm, raising two fine sons, his strong, far-from-silent masculinity, and my fibro. It's still a good life. Even with fibromyalgia.

    missist replied to BetteK's response:
    funny.. I did most all of the house and yard things when I was younger, mowing, shoveling (wisconsin back then) all the late night baby feeding, all the cooking & cleaning and shopping and garden-- though I never gardened that big a garden. I did most of the child care including home teaching all four of them--and this was all in the days when my pain level was the worst.

    dunno.. I worked several years after the kids were grown, he was out of work so I had to. but at some point I started to slow down a lot, I think it was when it started to effect my hands-- dropping things, getting really stiff, tired. I started to work at home by making things and selling them.

    I've done what I could, it will have to be enough.
    Wolfsong452 replied to missist's response:
    well guys I don't feel so bad, regarding yard work, I've had to do it for over 20 years, when I was married did hubby help me? Only time was when we were trimming trees etc. He loved to cut the branches down, then of course I'd have to go around and pick them all up, cut them into smaller pieces so the trash could take them.

    No, he couldn't have cut them smaller when he was cutting them down.

    Had a garden 2 years, guess I was just playing at it. Squirrels rabbits, chewed holes in all the veggies, or took the corn up into the trees. Guess it could've been a opossum or raccoon.

    anyway, big strong marine MP

    guess if he hadn't been a marine he'd have been like your big viking. This guy makes me feel small. yes, I'm short, but I'm obese, he still makes me feel small.

    hee hee, I'd love to see how I felt if I weight 100 pounds!

    ha ha !
    Wolfsong452 replied to BetteK's response:
    guess my Marine MP needs to learn to get used to it.

    oh, all the fun things he has planned, biker fest, blues festival, long motorcycle rides, you name it.

    I'm going to try my darnest to keep up. Even if I have to put tape on my mouth to keep from complaining, and make sure to take whatever supplements or medicine the doctor gives me.
    missist replied to Wolfsong452's response:
    Hope you will manage to. Thankfully mine just likes to go fishing.
    BetteK replied to Wolfsong452's response:
    Oh Wolfsong,

    What the two of you are doing is creating memories--good memories. Do what you can. Sit on the side and observe what you can't. Laugh together.

    Then, if there are some things that hubby has to do alone, you will be able to be an appreciative audience for his retelling. You will understand the experiences he's talking about. You will know some of his cycling buddies and can invite them to visit at your place for simple (pizza, make your own subs or sundaes) get togethers.

    And just how much effort is envolved in attending and enjoying a blues festival? Figure out ways to lower YOUR effort (and make him think it was his idea!).

    Wolfsong452 replied to BetteK's response:
    well a lot of these things are held outdoors, the blues fesitival, the jazz one, the bikers fest, all outdoors,

    Indiana summer, hot, humid eek!

    not for me.

    but I'm going to try and brave it, even the motorcycle riding, like you said, the memories would be worth it.
    BetteK replied to Wolfsong452's response:
    Be sure to get a BIG sun hat. If it's really hot, you can tuck one of those cold packs in to keep your head cooler--makes a big difference. Remember the sunblock and mosquito repellent.

    If you get there early enough can you set up under a tree? How about an umbrella just high enough so you don't bump your head? Wear light colored clothing to reflect rather than absorb the sun's rays.

    You can break up the ride with "Oh what a lovely view. Why don't we take a minute to enjoy it?" or plenty of potty breaks.
    (Most of us have irritable bladders, anyway!)

    Let us know how the summer fun works out. I'm sure you will have plenty of tips for us.

    booch007 responded:

    I don't get it!! HA! LOL!

    Everyday I am different and my function changes just the same..... Sometimes in pain on my butt not moving, somedays out and moving mountains...........

    As a patient dragging this through life, if I don't get it, how is anyone else? Thatnk God i have a doctor that knows me and understands the war we are in.

    Patience is needed on all parts! Good luck.........Nancy B
    Wolfsong452 replied to booch007's response:
    well thanks everyone, some really great ideas there.

    I will try the summer hat with the gel type ice pack under it.

    I'd love to wear one of those army type of helmets, but then my face and neck would be burned.

    so, guess I'll have to wear one with face visor etc.

    now this is IF BG EVEN wants to take me. I know what he likes to do, he's shown me tons of photos, so I hope I get invited to some of these.

    getting off from work is going to be the hard part.

    We have just enough workers to fill the shifts, if one needs time off, then others will have to work some extra time. Thing is, only 2 people could pick up the hours and not get over time.

    I'm one of them. The other guy only wants to work 16 hours a week, Typical boss man, doesn't like the over time!

    so, how this is going to happen I don't know.

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