Different Types of Long Commutes...Any Advice?
powersuit posted:
Hi All,

I'm hoping for some advice...everyone seems so kind and open! I am currently commuting 3-3.5 hours/day for my job. I'm pretty much miserable with the job and there is no opportunity for advancement. I try to exercise at most days of the week, so by the time I get home at 10-11 PM, I'm certainly not the most pleasant person. Although I have been granted ADA clearance for telecommuting 2 days/week, the particulars of the position and the commute are still huge problems and I notice things getting worse with my health.
I have been offered an amazing job, a once in a lifetime opportunity to be truthful. It is 6 hours away from my home, so I would have to drive and stay M-Th. Because my fiancé also travels most weeks, that part is not necessarily a problem.
Does anyone have any experience with daily vs. weekly commutes? I think that the weekly one would be better because it's an easier type of drive and only twice a week. I would be able to take better care of myself and lower stress because I am not wasting all that time and beating my body up everyday.
Any thoughts or experiences? Thanks in advance!
missist responded:
my hubby is working 3 hours away, he basically comes home 2x a month-- sometimes for longer weekends. He hasn't been home the past weekend or upcoming..but he'll be here 4 days next week.

It is hard to do it every weekend--for him--and he doesn't have fibromyagia-- would your relationship be OK if you only were home a couple weekends a month?

What happens long term?

I guess those would be the issues to consider.

I wouldn't count on making the drive every week--you will be tired..

For us--we don't care for this situation and he has a job interview next week and we are hoping he'll be moving home soon.
dollbug responded:
Hello and welcome....MiMi in NC....I no longer work and could not even begin to share any thoughts about driving this far every day. I do know that when I have a trip to make and must drive several hours to and from that it wears me completely out. I do have a pillow to use when I am in the car....if I am driving or if I am riding. I also try to make sure that I take breaks, if possible.

Now with that being said....I would also like to comment on this being a once in the lifetime opportunity....which to me, in itself, it something to take some serious consideration in. I would certainly try to make any and all efforts to at least try to make it work, if indeed this is what you want.
One thing is that if it did not work out then you could figure out what you could do then.

I hope that you can figure this out for the best.

Take care and good luck.

Remember that you must take care of yourself and do what you have to do that would benefit you the most.


missist replied to dollbug's response:
I was really saying if its my hubby--who is healthy. Me--I couldn't do it. I couldn't do what you're doing now either.

I get some bad sciatica if I drive even 30 minutes. I was going back and forth between where hubby is and here last summer quite a bit, but now I just stay put pretty much and he comes here.
BetteK responded:
About 10 years into her marriage, my sister's husband was sent to Toronto to work at that office for over a year. Sis stayed home with the kids in NJ. Some weekends hubby flew home. Some weekends my sister flew to up to be with him. (My mother watched the kids--gladly.) And some weekends they stayed put and didn't see each other.

That was about 40 years ago. Looking back, both of them say it was a vibrant, exciting time in their marriage. Even their sons remember it fondly.

BUT neither of them had fibro. They were young, healthy, and
committed to each other and their boys. Only you and your fiancee know how you and your relationship will adjust to this job change.

Now, let me ask you this: if your fiance were transferred to a location 6 hours from home, what would happen? We both know what would happen. You would move to his new jobsite.
There would be no talk of commuting.

Talk with your fiancee. For all you know, he HATES his job and would love to move to another city and another position. Or not. The thing is, you have to talk to him. Or perhaps, because he is travelling anyway, he could be do his travelling based at your new home.

This job sounds like something you would always regret not taking. Find a way to have both a job you love and the man you love.

CORYSGIRL30 responded:
When I was working my office was only 10 minutes away...yet excruciating to get to...
powersuit responded:
Hi All,

Thank you so much for your replies--it is so nice to have a lot of different viewpoints and real experiences.

Unfortunately my fianc? can't move for his job, although I know he would if he could. He's been very supportive through all of this. My mom does live halfway in between, so that is nice to know in case I need to mix up the commute.

Thanks again for your responses--I'm still mulling things over, so I will be sure to take them into account and share them with my fianc? as we make this decision.

Best wishes to everyone!