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    having a kind of rough day..
    missist posted:
    had a rough day, lots of indecision, discouragement and feeling hopeless.

    Anyhow I am very glad to hear things went well for Mimi's daughter. a bright spot in my day.

    If anyone wants to pray for me-- I'd be grateful, I'm just feeling really over done. Tomorrow should be better. Counting on it.
    dollbug responded:
    Hello Mary.....sorry that you had a rough day....I know exactly just how this can be and just how much it can also affect us FMers....not a good thing at all for the mind or the body.

    I have had these kinds of feelings for some time now.

    Thoughts and prayers are with you as well as others on the site who are dealing with other issues as well. Hope and prayers go a long way.

    As I have told myself on days like this.....*this too will pass*...and you know sooner or later it does.

    Take care.


    missist replied to dollbug's response:
    It does. I just started in on one project and it evolved into 5 or 6.. and I know I won't have the energy to get near done with any of it. So that's discouraging. Plus chasing one of my dogs around today, he's found some way out of the fence. Disappeared 3 x oh me today.

    Then... my head is buzzing again and I'm waking in the night getting numb all over and thinking-- this is what I told the dr. a couple months ago... all these new RXs and it hasn't fixed it.

    hate to call again and go in again.. but well-- this just isn't working out.

    I guess I'll see if I can get an apt after my son's visit, not interested in wasting a day running to the dr this week.

    It will pass--so true.
    missist replied to missist's response:
    to be honest--I think these 'episodes' I'm having in the night--which wake me up-- I think they are some kind of 'conscious' seizure.
    I have like an 'aura' sometimes-- that happens first, but not every time.

    I wake up, and I'm lying there and I feel numbness just travel about in my body-- sometimes one side of my body, sometimes the other--sometimes parts of both. Including my face & inside mouth as well as feet, arms, legs.. pretty much everywhere at different times. I find I can open & shut eyes and move things even if they are numb and I can talk-- tried it--but this just happens and keeps on happening for 15 or 30 min.

    I just don't think this is part of fibro-- my dr I don't think listened well enough, he was pretty quick to glance at my history and decide I have central sensitization.

    Well.. I might. but I just don't see these symptoms mentioned anywhere.

    so-- its on my mind alot.

    seen dr 2x and had rx changed over phone one time as well--in the past 2 months or so.. Pain is not my big issue--I do have weakness I feel and pain-- in some areas--but I'm not as worried about that.

    so that's that.
    BetteK replied to missist's response:

    The work will still be there long after you are gone. Do what you can, when you can. Please don't wory about the rest.

    We all know what stress does to the fibro. Setting yourself goals that you may not be able to meet is an invitation to stress.

    Yes, it would be nice to have a clean house, a tidy yard, a weeded garden. It would also be nice not to have fibromyalgia. In the real world we have to be kinder to ourselves and allow ourselves to live in this new fibro-friendly world where we do what we can (or what we absolutely have to do) and stop sweating the rest.

    My mother secumbed to colon cancer and multiple mylanoma after 2 years of blood transfusions for which I drove 300 miles each way to be with her. It meant rearranging my GED students to have every other Thursday and Friday off. Now I was paying the price with nonstop back pain, migranes,
    allover aches, and fatigue.

    A good friend came to see how I was doing. I was ashamed about the shape of out house after 2 years of neglect. She asked me what would happen if I spent all my energy--what there was of it--getting the house spotless. Would my husband and sons even notice? Would they help me KEEP it clean? Didn't I know I was doing housekeeping IN SPITE OF my family, not FOR my family?

    Of course she was right. No dust bunnies are worth the chance of amping up a flare. The stove really isn't going to burst into flames if you don't clean the oven every week. No one cares whether you chopped up the salad or poured it out of a bag.

    Lower your expectations. Do what you really want to do on those precious good days. Forget about the rest. It's not worth it.

    missist replied to BetteK's response:
    LOL Bette, true. My expectations are already soo darn low. My son is coming sat. with his girl and I have never met her & he has never seen our house. but.. I give.

    I'll just wait til Sat am and mop up the floor where the dogs are always tracking mess. I was really wanting to do more--but I have a feeling it won't get done. I think I will go ahead and call the darn dr again tomorrow.. the more I think about it--I guess I really should be sure there isn't something I don't know about.

    sigh.. I cannot tell you how much I do not want to go to drs or have tests.. like everyone doesn't know.

    Anon_10089 replied to missist's response:
    Hello, Mary-

    Sorry you had a rough day. I have days like that too. I think I've gotten pacing down, acceptance down, and have FM figured out. Then I'll have a day of discouragement where it feels like I'm in a whole that I'll never get out of. Thankfully, now I can usually remember that things do get better and not feel so bad.

    I think you should pursue the numbness thing more. I know numbness and "buzzing" can be a part of FM, but I've never heard it the way you experience it. As a side note, my SIL recently went through crazy seizure-like episodes. Turns out she had been chronically anemic. I'm not saying that's what your issue is, but that it could be caused by something other than FM. Sounds scary!

    I hope tomorrow is better for you!
    missist replied to Anon_10089's response:
    thank you. I had 3 separate episodes of that weirdness last night, so didn't sleep well.
    I'm calling the doctor this morning. I guess just chalking it up to fibro or 'central sensitization/anxiety' as my dr has called it-- well that's one possibility I guess but I haven't found anything like this in any fibro info. I was thinking maybe it is psycho-somatic? I have no idea. But another thing, I have family history of both strokes & brain cancer--so it would be pretty dumb not to check it out.

    Something keeps telling me its due to my neck--but I just don't know that's true either. argh.
    debrabrooks1960 responded:
    Dear Mary,
    Have you had a sleep study done? Maybe that could tell what is going on with the numbness. They put electrodes on all parts of your body and record what goes on all night. Maybe you could suggest it to your doctor if you have not had one. You are in my prayers. I hope you get some rest.

    Your not over the hill until you are under the hill.
    missist replied to debrabrooks1960's response:
    thank you debra. I called and am seeing a doctor tomorrow--mine is out of town.. which actually may be a good thing.

    Anyhow-- I think a sleep study is a good idea. My #1 concern is that I don't have any kind of lesion/tumor in my head--after that--I'll relax a bit and tackle whatever it is I do have.

    So I'm going to ask for at least an xray of my head. I know my dad's tumor was seen on xray--so it could maybe rule that out at least.

    so we shall see, I do appreciate any and all prayers--I'm just thinking this is not part of anything I know about fibro--so I don't want it just chalked up to my 'usual weirdness'.

    I actually hate going to docs and getting tests--but you'd think it was a form of entertainment or something as it seems like I do this stuff like yearly now. sigh.. grr.

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