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    An_252163 posted:
    I hate this life now, going on five years of FM, CFS and MIgranes. I too keep getting denied SSD. I am at the AJL hearing level now and now another attorney is willing to take my case. They at SSD kept trying to get me to sign a release of representation after I told them I was going to ask for a continuance. I have the same Judge who calls me and all my Dr reports lies. UNBELIEVABLE. I am trying to get secondary gain by appying for disability. FU. I would give any limb to not have this disease. I used to make over 50k per yr and love to work if I could. Feel as though I am going to lose it soon. I will be homeless soon. I am all alone, lost all my friends my only family are my children.

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    dollbug responded:
    Hello and sorry that you are dealing with so much right now. MiMi in NC....I wanted to suggest that you contact your local State Representative in Washington about being denied your disability. The system is badly broken.....but you are entitled to your benefits if you are no longer able to work. So hang in there and continue to fight for what is yours.

    I think a lot of us FMers applied and was denied at least once....and some more than just once. It is a process and the system wants to make it as hard as they possibly can in hopes that you will decide to give up.

    It is sad that this happens. Stress does not help us anyway....and all this does to us is to make things worse.

    Take care and good luck.


    missist responded:
    Hi, don't know your name but you're going right to the top on my prayer list. I have never tried to get SSD--mainly cuz I am lucky in that my husband can support me. If somehow I ever out live him though I know I'll be in the same trouble.

    So sorry you are so miserable and without help, praying for you.
    feelallthat replied to dollbug's response:
    Thank you for your kind words. My code name is feelallthat. I just joined this community and should have years ago. I am very alone, as what friends I do have left don't want to hear my problems. I have been bed ridden most of the week due to stress, don't have all the rent, trying to go back to a temp job on Monday after huritng my mid back but feel like I need to go to the mental hosptial (been there before). I no longer have Medicaid or any other insurance so no luck on that. I am trying to sell everything I can so I can stay in my rental. I have made so many bad decisions, like moving into this house I am renting instead of using HUD when my name came up on the list, my BF of 33 yrs talked me into it saying we'll pay 100 of your rent you deserve it, I'll help you with the cleaning and yard work. None of this ever happened. I never asked for the 100 until last month and everything came to a head and I blew up on her. Nobody understands this disease unless they have it and even then it is always why me or why you???? What makes you think Washington will help me? Do you have a secret? The judge in my appeal was mad after they asked me three times to sign a release of representation and she totally remembered me. Very biased and hopefully my new attorney will be able to request a different Judge. My hearing will be sometime in September. THis judge takes everything out of context, like I tried to kill myself because I couldn't find a job, no its because I cannot work. such BS wish you could read the decision-unfavorable. Even though I asked for continuance she questioned me about my short term work and asked if I was still going to school. I signed up for school to get loans so we would have a roof over our head, now I am headed to the tent. GREAT huh? My 16 yr old is visiting his brother for a short time period in So. Cal which is great for him. He has no father in his life as he is a total loser. Ever since I got sick he has been so unhappy. The guilt I feel for this is so overwhelming. I raised three children by myself and have always been so strong and a hard worker. I always moved up in my jobs and now I can't even remember simple instructions. Thanks for listening. I will feel better, just wish it would last forever. haha.
    feelallthat replied to missist's response:
    Thank you for your prayers. I just Thank God I have him in my life. He has managed to pull me out of a lot of bad situations. Now I just have to get strong because we will be homeless soon. I have to keep it together so I can find some place that will help me out. God Bless you too!! Sending love for you.
    missist replied to feelallthat's response:
    I do thank you. I read what you said and see you are overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed myself this evening.
    God Bless you. I wonder sometimes is this illness due to stress or causing it? I don't know but I do believe God knows and sees us and somehow will help us.
    BetteK replied to feelallthat's response:
    Tell us again how this whole mess is your fault.

    You decided one day to get fibromyalgia.

    You decided to be in such pain and fatigue that you couldn't work.

    You decided no become a burden to your son.


    Now stop beating yourself up. Do what you can to make it to work on Monday. You need the money. So rest as much as possible on Sunday. Hope you have a tub in your tent, because you need a nice long bath or shower morning and night.

    Give up caffeine as much as you can. Do it slowly, one glass or cup less each day. Keep regular hours even on the weekend. Do gentle stretches before you get out of bed. Use your pillows to support your body in bed and on chairs.

    Try to eat more fruits and vegetables and less sugars, starches, and fats. I know how hard this is on a limited income, but do your best. I also know how much comfort a donut can give on a bad day, but it is a temporary comfort with a price for your body.

    Start saving your old medicine bottles. Bring them with you for your SSDI hearing. Don't act the part of a stoic. Don't pretend your fibro is worse than it is either. Describe what it takes you to get ready for a day at work. How often do you have to get up and stretch. (Do this at your hearing, too, if you need to.) What does your fibrofog prevent you from doing? All of these are reasons why you are unable to work.

    SSDI is not a lot of money. It is based on your work time, and your age, and how much you earned during this time. It's unfair, but the time you geared back to part time or temp work lowered your average earnings. That will lower your SSDI. Ouch!

    But, if I read you right, ANY money is better than NO money. The good thing about SSDI is that it will be the same every month. You'll be able to plan ahead and budget. After 2 years, you'll get Medicare, too. In the meantime, check with your state about Medicaid and food stamps for you and your son. If you don't qualify, there's something wrong.

    Hang in there. Better days are ahead. You deserve them.

    And remember, you are not to blame for any of this.

    feelallthat replied to missist's response:
    I believe that, but sometimes it gets harder to feel Him when you are reaching your breaking point.
    missist replied to feelallthat's response:
    good point. don't go by what you see or feel though. faith is believing when you can't see/feel that is actually when you are most blessed to keep faith.

    Bette has some great advice, this is a tough row to get hoe-ing.
    feelallthat replied to missist's response:
    Thanks to you all for your great advice. I feel much better today and will buck up and show up tomorrow. God is great.
    missist replied to feelallthat's response:

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