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    FM and Pain during Intimacy
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    An_252226 posted:
    I am looking for any helpful suggestions to not just getting past the pain during Intimacy but, as well as encouraging my husband to get past his fear of causing me pain. We have been married for 19 years and I would say for the past 6 years and at a steady decline our lack of intimacy has grown. I am 49 yrs old to his 46 yrs of age. I really miss the closeness we once shared. If anyone knows of any suggestions to help eliminate his hesitation and to help with encourage him to not focus on any possible pain that might happen.
    Thank you,
    Lonely in Texas
    Reply
     
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    Anon_2912 responded:
    Blushing when I say this, but "with the foreplay I give him, he can't say NO...".....
     
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    An_249441 replied to Anon_2912's response:
    Amen sister!
     
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    debrabrooks1960 responded:
    Dear Loney in Texas,
    Try taking a hot bath before sex. It will help relax you. Also see if your husband will give a back rub or body rub to relax you. If he can see you are relaxed maybe he will relax and will not worry so much about hurting you. Just be sure to tell him if it does hurt. Trying to pretend it is not hurting is not good for either of you. Also use lots of KY Jelly or lubricant. Good luck and I hope you will have many hours of wonderful love making ahead of you!

    Debbie
    Your not over the hill until you are under the hill.
     
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    Bette_K replied to debrabrooks1960's response:
    Another thing: Watch out for that Premarin Cream. It's the first form of estrogen that a doc will suggest when menopause calls. (It hits your vaginal walls and potentially has fewer side effects than a pill.)

    I got a horrible rash from the Premarin Cream. Needless to say, that did not help our bedroom time. You're better off using KY jelly if you need lubricant.

    Dr. Starlanyl's books talk about sexual pain. See if you can get a copy through the library.

    Bette
     
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    dmonetted replied to Bette_K's response:
    I really appreciate the suggestions and I look forward to trying all of the tips.
    I have but one additional problem.
    My husband was just diagnosed with Hepatitis B. Our doctor said that I would need to be tested but, he ( our Dr ) isn't aware that my husband and myself have had no intimacy for over eight months. But, this illness that has fallen to husband has only served to drive him further away from myself..
    So, now I must convince my husband that I am not worried about contracting the disease.
     
    avatar
    Bette_K replied to dmonetted's response:
    Oh, joy. One more hurdle.

    There are some lubricated condoms. They should make things more comfortable for you and less of a worry for your hubby that he might infect you.

    You and hubby have to have to have a joint meeting with your family doctor. There are ways to handle all of your problems.
    If that particular doc is not the one to help you, maybe a marriage/intimacy counselor would help.

    Don't let this important part of your lives slip away. Every day you are not intimate makes it harder to start over.

    (This is from the 69 year old woman who used to work in "The Pill" factory! Who would have thunk it!)

    Happy second honeymoons--and thirds and fourths and fifths, too.

    Bette


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