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said goodbye to my brother today... he's dieing...
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dakotaspirit1957 posted:
my brother has been ill a long time... he had something that was put by his heart to help it rejected by his body over a month ago.. he has been in the hospital since...

the dr's told him a week ago that they have done all they could do... the infection has gone thru out his body and organs... nothing was helping him...

friday he turned down his kidney dialysis... he is slowly drowning on the inside... this morning i called him and his son said the fluid is now around his heart and lungs... his body looks like a suma wrestler in a very skinny body... he is swollen everywhere...

i talked to him a little... but i had to do most of the talking... he couldn't breathe well enough to talk much...

i got to say goodbye this time unlike my other brother... who died while we weren't speaking... or he wasn't speaking to me...

i pray he finds peace soon for he has turned down all help... even pain killers... please pray for his peace...

my heart cries for all we had and could have had if he would have given me a chance... i reached out to him on numerous occasion... he turned away... i shouldn't have quit calling but i did... now there was nothing to say but i'm sorry for not being the sister i wanted to be... and i understand his decision... and i love no matter what...

goodbye is hard to say 2000 miles from home... and even harder when you always wished for more... plus... i am not capable due to my health to fly home... so once again it is a long distance goodbye...

he may not have been what i wanted him to be... but he is still my brother... loved dearly... never to be forgotten but forgiven... he needed to know that... now he does......

my parents need our prayers... he is only 66... the second son they have watched die... they just keep telling me it is wrong to outlive your children... they are hurting so bad and the only 2 kids they have there to help them are no help... all my sister and brother there keep saying to them is that he asked to die... he didn't do things right and he is suffering because of it... they need to be quiet and help mom and dad thru their pain... i can call them several times a day but i can't be there... sometimes i wish i was...

thanks for being here... love jan/dakota
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missist responded:
Long distance goodbyes are awful Jan, my prayers are with you and your brother and the family.

We do torture ourselves I think with 'what ifs' I have to remind myself often that 'if' doesn't matter when you have faith. You can turn the 'what ifs' over to God--and he'll see to it your loved ones know all they need to.

You can be sure that when they have met the God of love--they have nothing but love & forgiveness for any 'what ifs' that didn't work out in this world.

Mary
 
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dakotaspirit1957 replied to missist's response:
mary you are so right... God has been very helpful today... it has been a revealing and powerfully hopeful day... thanks for your prayers... love... jan/dakota
 
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fibroinsd responded:
hugs to you Jan...you sure have been through it all lately...I am sure your brother appreciated your call...may he rest in peace..

cece
Let's put the fun back in dysfunctional !- Mary Englebright
 
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dakotaspirit1957 replied to fibroinsd's response:
thanks cece... he will for he has made amends where needed most... with his parents... i couldn't hear what he was saying to me but i know he forgives me and i him... God bless his soul with peace...

love... jan/dakota


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