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    OT - Hi everyone!
    katmandulou posted:
    I know some have noticed that I haven't been around. I'd like to say that I've been on a deserted island, relaxing and having a great time. HA!

    The one good thing that has happened over the past couple of weeks is that work has picked up. I'm SO grateful to my clients for needing me, and appreciate the warm thoughts from members of my FMily.

    Outside that sunny umbrella has been dismal rain. Most of you know that my Dad has a fall three months ago. Everything was going really really well, then Dad just shut down. He didn't want to do PT, didn't want to eat, he mostly stayed in his room, slept and was generally crabby.

    Last week, he hit a nurse, so they sent him to the ER for what they call a "psych evaluation." It's the common lingo for "we have an old person who's acting out, and we don't know why." I didn't get a call from the nursing home (long story there) so I didn't know what was going on for a few hours. When I finally got word, I called the ER, and was told that after a couple of tests they found he had an out-of-control UTI! They admitted him, put him on antibiotics and thought everything would be fine.

    Dad was in a pretty good mood when I saw him the next day (Monday). I didn't see him Tues, and when I got there Wed he had been moved to another room, and they said he had another infection called C-Diff. It's a really nasty bug, you can look it up. He had swung at another staffer, so they had him on Haldol too. Thursday night they called me; he also had a "small pneumonia" - what's that? Long story short, three infections in an 80-year old man who's been wasting away is not good. I brought my aunt - his sister - to visit him Friday, we spent the afternoon with him. He was not conscious, moaned a lot, and cursed every time they tried to do anything to him, including take his temp.

    Saturday night, around 11:30, I got the final call - Dad was failing quickly. The infections were too much for him, so my sibs and I, our spouses and significant others gathered in the ICU one final time. Dad passed at 5:50 Sunday morning.

    It might be another long while before I'm back, and I wanted to make sure you all know it's nothing personal. LOL The next few days will be hard with the calling hours and funeral to plan and attend, then the sorting of accounts, selling of property, etc. I ask for nothing but your warm thoughts and a few prayers that my sibs and I don't kill each other in the process.

    Wishing you all the best days you can possibly have,
    missist responded:
    Hi Lou, will pray for you & the family. Sorry to hear of your Dad's passing, Peace to you all, Mary
    mnjeepguy responded:
    Very sorry about your dad Lou. Take care.

    dollbug responded:
    So sad for you Lou....please remember to take care of did all you could do for him and this is what counts. So very sorry though as the nursing home should have done more. Thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

    Take care and know that you will be missed and we will be here when you return.

    May GOD comfort you through this difficult time.


    bette_kaffitz responded:
    Oh, Lou,

    We love and look up to them. We depend on them. We need them. And then--suddenly--they are gone. And we are the older generation.

    But wait. We're not ready yet. We don't know how to give sage advice, how to calm down an out of control teenager, how to know everything and how to be everything to the members of the family who will now look up to us.. Well neither did our parents when the torch was passed to them.

    And now it is out time. Our time to be brave, to be that much-revered older generation. And so we are.

    This is a hard time, Lou. You are free to come here 10 times a day if you need to. Because this is home. And we are family.

    katmandulou responded:
    Thanks you, everyone, for your kind words.

    Mimi, I'll try remember to get my rest. I was up about 36 hours (minus a 2 1/2 hour nap) before I crashed late Sunday. DH keeps telling me to sit and relax - as if, right?

    As I said to my sibs - we're the grownups now. When did that happen?

    My biggest goal for this week (other than making sure we don't kill each other)? Eat ice cream every day.
    ouchie4222 replied to bette_kaffitz's response:
    How nice a letter.
    katmandulou responded:
    Just another note - today is the calling hours and tomorrow is the funeral. Yesterday was "We Should'da" day - we should'da kept closer tabs on his caregivers, we should'da noticed his pain, we should'da... You know the drill.

    Then one member of my happy family had a hissy fit over the plans. When I asked for help he didn't say a word, not he's crabbing that he wasn't consulted. So he chewed me out for 20 minutes or so, we both hung up in tears. I'm the oldest, Dad and Mom put me in charge. Heavy is the head...

    I'm trying to pace, but there's so much. I'm not sleeping, at least I don't feel like I have. People keep telling me to get some sleep. Really? LOL Maybe I'll call the rheumy and ask for a little something to take the edge off. I have to go by his office to get to the funeral home...

    Thanks for letting me vent, FMily members. DH is tired of it all, I'm sure. I'll check in next week, and I hope I get some sleep before then See you all soon.
    dollbug replied to katmandulou's response:
    Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time....I know just how hard things can be. It is sad that people can just not let go and let GOD.

    I hope you can rest soon.

    Take care and good luck. Know that we are thinking of you.


    franr responded:
    Dear Lou

    So sorry about your dad. Same thing happened with my mother -in-law. Sometimes with age it is hard to fight bacteria off. Please try to get some needed rest when possible any I will remember you in prayer. FranR
    MaryinMt responded:
    So sorry to hear of your loss, you and your siblings are in my prayers.
    Signing off with tender hugs , caring thoughts and well wishes.
    booch007 responded:
    Dear Lou,

    I am so sorry. You are never ready to say goodbye to your loved ones.

    It sounds like Urosepsis. A dangerous thing in the elderly.
    My heart goes out to your family and you.
    My condolences, Nancy B
    fibroinsd responded:
    My heart and prayers to you Lou....I am so busy with problems with my mom and dad...not much time on here right now either..and I continually second guess what I am doing..."Should they be at home?" ..."Should they be in assisted living?" do we get them the help they is so awful to be the one this is left to deal with...the others have no idea...and this goes on and on...and I know the stress on me and my DH are terrible..and I know I will get nothing but arguments from my sisters...but they do I totally understand what you are dealing with...I realize the sisters are far away and have busy lives...but that doesn't excuse what they are not doing..I pray you get some rest and support from some people...You did what you could...Cece
    Let's put the fun back in dysfunctional !- Mary Englebright
    bette_kaffitz responded:

    There's always someone there to second guess you. They're never the ones to chip in and do any work, or to make any decisions. But they always know how to complain that others did something wrong.

    You did the best you knew how to. You did it with love and sadness, and compassion, and fear, and a feeling of loneliness. And now you are being criticized.

    Pretend you wear a hearing aid and the batteries just went dead. Ignore the jabs. Either the speaker is too overcome with loss to realize what she's saying, or she's not worth listening to. If it's the first, it will be a kindness. If it's the second, you don't really want to talk with people like that anyway.

    Life is to short to worry about the people who would drag you down. Surround yourself with those who make you feel loved and those who respect you.

    Hey, I'm 70. I can get away with it. Maybe you can too.


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