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    Board is slow???
    booch007 posted:
    WOW. I don't think the board has been this slow in a long time.

    I took off a couple of days to regroup. I have been pushing this body for 7 months as a 5 -6 daya week worker. MY CHOICE TO TAKE THAT ON. (Remember this was computer work mostly)

    Now they have told me I must work 5 days a week with this position. I have to get my head on straight. THIS IS A MATTER OF PERCEPTION!

    I am perceiving more pain and distress. Yet, when I paced my way through it and knew I had a day to jump away if I needed I was OK. Now without the free day in the week I am in distress.

    I told the administrators I know this is in my head. They laughed and said "you have been doing it all along" but... I am afraid.....

    It is like when we have to go somewhere and you don't know how the body will be. Will more pain arrive? Will I be able to walk out of the place? Will a headache be there after it is over?? Fear can be paralyzing.

    I am just so fearful. I am a doer, aways have been. That is my real issue. I am all over the place and for me to say " Can you lift that and put it there?" Admits to me and them that I can't* do it. It is a tough thing STILL to deal with.

    I need to share a bit of me with the staff I think too. They need to know I "have a bad neck" so that if I ask for something I need help with it.

    I have crossed the line and it has been 4 days of struggle, this is why I took off to rest. Unable(Unwilling) to ask for help. Doing more physical right now organising and cleaning the office.

    This is a learning curve just like when I made my toolbox, it took time to assess and figure a plan to function within.

    So just sharing my path I am on right now. Most at my age are ready to slow down to a crawl and retire....or with our issues to go disability, but I am like the race horse. I am on the last lap of the race and I am speeding up to W I N !

    I just need to find balance with the rest of life. I have taken Christmas Eve away from myself so all that decorating and cleaning and cooking is not in the mix this year. My party life is down to a crawl now...even the Sunday dinners are at risk as I need to be up at 5:20 on rest day after putting out so much energy.

    OK, off the box.

    Good morning Fmily, hope you are all just so busy and doing better that there are few issues here on the board. Be the best you can be.
    Medicate and move. Hydrate and get in the sun.

    Strongest med I take is distraction....and I am in an overdose arena right now. What is that saying " Becareful what you wish for...."

    Hugs, Nancy B
    dollbug responded:
    Hello Nana B....yes, the board is slow...actually it has been slow for some time now. I am hoping this is due to people coping better and just out and about doing other things. Perhaps this is a good thing. As you probably already know a lot of people join and then they disappear for a while and eventually return. There are a lot of them who now do FB instead. I also think there are several sites on there as well.

    Nana B....I was quite surprised when you said you are afraid. I say this because I think this is part of the FM issue that we have. I know that every time I have to do something different, I am also like this. I have to *prepare my mind* so that I can actually move forward. It is really a really weird feeling. I have never been this way, in the past. Every time I had to go to court and make the 2 hour plus trip on the interstate I dreaded it each and every time. So was this stress or something else? I have no idea. I do know that I have had too many of these *things* to deal with in the past few years.

    You should *slow down* though Nana B. I think your mind is trying to tell you that this is important now....and this is why you are dealing with so much (with the body). You should indeed ask for help on whatever you need done. Actually there should be no *explaining* to do about this. You are so lucky that you have continued to move forward and do your job well. You said your party life is down to a crawl....even Sunday dinners.

    I can understand I, too, fix Sunday dinner for my family. I have learned though that when I am *not up to cooking a lot*....then I find simple things to fix. Spaghetti or Tacos or Chili (like we had yesterday)...sometimes it is really hard though to just get through this time. There are times when I am *exhausted* from this....which I know is not good for the mind or the body.

    My MIL always had *Sunday Family Dinner* though and I use to enjoy this so much....just seeing and being with family and catching up on whatever happened during the week or from the time we had gathered. Good memories.
    I was very close to both of my in laws and miss them dearly.

    I do hope that you will indeed *find the balance of life*...if indeed there is such a thing for us FMers. This is what we all need to do. We need to have as little of a *stress free* life as we can find.

    Take care and I hope you enjoy your days off. I hope you will find time to rest.



    bette_kaffitz responded:

    It could just be a reaction to finally having your project up and running. You have been working towards this goal for a while. Now that it is a reality, you are going,"Whew, what a big job that was!" and feeling that there ought to be a time to decompress.

    Unfortunately, you live in the real world. Decompression is not always something you can take time off for. Take the time for a tub soak each night. Listen to your favorite soothing music. Try to get to bed a little early (Even 15 minutes could make a difference.) Try to get a walk in during your lunch break. The combination of fresh air and exercise is a great rejuvenator.

    You are used to working 4 days a week. It will take a while for your body to get used to this extra day. Think of it as a form of jet lag. Suddenly your whole internal clock is out of kilter. But just as we adjust to different time zones, we can adjust to different work schedules.

    Now go and enjoy that job you earned with your hard work.

    booch007 replied to dollbug's response:
    Good morning Mimi and Bette,

    Thanks for the reply. Mimi I shared the fear that I feel because I wanted all here who read to know that no matter how long you have had this, no matter how well you have beat this and carved out a life. There is a challenge eachday that you wake. That the fear of "will this be OK? Will this set me back? Start a flare? always in your head.
    No matter how smart you are or anything you can think of.

    So many have followed my path as I am here over 10 years now.....and I went from fighting to dancing and managed my meds better.....struggled with acceptance. Now it is a new hurdle. One that all might face and I thought I wanted to be open and let others no this is still hard.....still a challenge and a daily "make a plan for the day" disease.

    I am doing better in my day off mode right now. I was asked to take Christmas is magical for the whole family. So now I am thinking how I can do this.

    "IT can be done and done in stages...I can even get the tables set in November and covered with sheets! HA! LOL

    I just have to thnk about it. Having a dinner gathering tonight as I have tomorrow to rest. I will discuss it with my SIL. The GC and DIL are joining us too. Should be so much fun .

    A spiral ham is not too much work. I will do the table early this a.m. when my meds are their best. Plan and plan some more.

    OK. Thanks again. Time will tell how this goes. Nancy B

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