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An_248463 posted:


How is yours? How do you maintain a relationship? How can you get back if it is lost?

Pray. Please. I'm losing.
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debrabrooks1960 responded:
I recently divorced from my husband. He thought I was too sick to be his wife. So he found another woman. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. But I am sure that is not the answer you are looking for. Have your spoke to your partner? Try taking things real slow and have a lot of foreplay during sex. Explain to your partner that you want a relationship, but that they have to understand that some days it will be difficult for you. Most important is to be honest with each other and talk about what you want and expect. Have them read up on fibromyalgia so they can understand what you are facing everyday. Maybe they can do the dishes one night or vacuum so you can have more energy to please them. Good luck and I will pray everything will turn out okay for you.

Debbie
Your not over the hill until you are under the hill.
 
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An_248463 replied to debrabrooks1960's response:
Thanks. I don't ever get listened to. Haven't done what supposed to in a long long time.

Don't feel like it. Always feel sick and tired. I want to go to bed, just to go to bed. Feel terrible for feeling this way, but I don't know what else to do.

Relationship already in turmoil. Guilt has taken over and I don't think I'm being taken too seriously. The other just know I have fibro, but not taking the time to educate themselves on what all that's involved with it. Constantly being put down becuse I don't do things in the allotted time, or don't finish things, and the list goes on and on. I'm very angy and frstrated. I know God didn't mean for it to be like this.

I get my dream life, and can't hardly be a part of it. Every monment is a struggle laughing helps. It is one of the only times that I don't feel pain. God knows.

Thanks for imput.
 
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bette_kaffitz responded:
An honey,

There you are. The love of your life is beside you. You know a little lovemaking would be a good thing for both of you.

BUT. . . .

So much of you hurts that it takes an awful lot of very gentle caresses and cuddling to get you really in the mood.

OKAY. BUT. . . .

By the time all this gentle, sweet time has gone by, you are so exhausted that the idea of spending another minute not getting into the one and only position you can maybe, maybe fall asleep in.

AND IF YOU DECIDE TO CONTINUE THE INTIMACY IN SPITE OF YOUR FATIGUE. . . .

You know perfectly well that one of those "gentle touches" is going to be in the wrong place or just too hard. And suddenly the pain machine will kick in. Let's face it, there's no way you will get to the end you were hoping for. The best that can happen at this point is for your partner to enjoy himself while you try to please him.

An, my husband and I have been married for 46 years. Fibro has been in our marriage bed for 41. It takes a very special partner to accept that there will be a lot of dry spells in your lovelife.

You can help nurture that partner by reminding him of how much you love, respect, and admire him. On your good days, be sure to pull out all the stops with an enthusiastic round of lovemaking--black lace nightie, candles, and anything else that works. If there are children in the house, send them to grandma's or that girlfriend you swap babysitting with.

If you make sure your mate knows how much you love him and how much of an effort you put into pleasing him on the good days, somehow the bad days are easier to take.

I truly hope that some of this helps. Fibromyalgia robs us of so much of our lives. Don't let it remove the intimacy from yours, too.

Bette


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